Too Many Excuses~ Get up, wash your face, brush your teeth, comb your hair, get dressed.....

[TrustYourSoul]

Then DO SOMETHING TODAY. There is NO magic solution that will drop down on anyone who chooses to just lay around and "wait". Own your life!! YOU ALONE are choosing what you allow to poison your spirit. Nicely give the "toxic people" in your life the boot! They can't stay. Tell them the truth so they "get it", feel free/liberated, and move on. It's ALL up to YOU. This is the Only life we get. Only YOU can make the most of it! If you need meds, see a therapist and start slowly.

There are too many external "excuses" given on this site. Own your life. Nobody else can do that for you. Please accept that. People who reply, saying "Poor pitiful you....So sorry your life is crappy", offering NO good ideas, AND/OR "victims" choosing to remain thay way, won't help. I might offer more advice. Maybe a "cute animal photo" here and there, but my very sound advice hasn't been welcomed or made a difference that I've heard of.

Too many want to remain miserable because it has become their way of life, and actually doing things to change and improve it seems foreign/ uncomfortable/ "impossible", from posts I read. I will just wish everyone much Success in your healing and your future. 🙋‍♀️

[Sueislove]

Pretty harsh !!! This is a support group and I’m sorry you can’t relate or maybe you can and this is how your depression is to lash out to others that are suffering does this make you feel better !!!! ????We all are struggling that’s why we are hear but your post is very unsupported and cold and harsh ! We don’t chose this is an chemical imbalance I’m sorry you need to be so cruel and heartless . I will pray you don’t lash out again in this sight and pray for you to feel better soon !

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Sueislove]

I thought so too at first but what DoNotQuit says is true, isn't it?

[Zyxx in reply to MaggieSylvie]

No. It isn’t.

[Sueislove in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I found it to be not appropriate way of trying to help others period ! I always come or try to come from a place of love peace and supportive much better approach to helping others!

[Hidden]

Getting up and doing something always helps me too. It takes my mind off of the problems that are causing me to feel depressed. When I lay around for days it does get worse. I just started a new job and have been feeling much better about life. Training is keeping me focused on the job and not life's problems. I also starting spending less time worrying about what others think of me (aka parents) and their negativity. These things help. 👍

[Arymretep in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes doing something physical helps but not Always, it depends how severe the depression is, I don’t think we should judge what others are going through at any time..

[Sueislove in reply to Arymretep]

Totally agree all our journeys are same but different

[AuntBee]

DoNotQuit, you sound frustrated that you have not been able to move the needle for anyone, but you don’t actually know that is true. Perhaps you have, but for those struggling, they may hear your message and think they should be able to just snap their fingers and feel better. Just snap themselves out of it and if they cant, they are broken. Well if it were just that easy my niece and nephew would still be here. If it were that simple this site would not exist. No, Im sorry, mental health is a real thing and luckily, there are support groups like this one, professionals and medications to help them. Please reconsider your message and try to understand, mental illness is not something you can control with a pep talk.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to AuntBee]

Thank you AuntBee, I wish I had your words to express what I feel.

[Sueislove in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Agreed !!!!

[Sueislove]

Aunt bee you said it way better than I did ! We all can only do what we can and we all know yes pushing our selfs is good and rewarding at times but sometimes it’s not possible! ❤️‍🩹

[tofler]

This site is all about supporting each other, but this post is definitely not supportive. It's judgemental, critical, unhelpful and unkind. I was going to comment further about this post but I think it's probably best if I don't.

[Sueislove in reply to tofler]

Right there with you tofler!

[MaggieSylvie in reply to tofler]

But it may have been just what some people needed to read. It is a reminder that really, we are the only ones who can help ourselves. Some people may have benefitted from what seems like harsh advice.

[Hidden]

Hi there. Your last paragraph sticks out to me. For me, I don't want to remain miserable. For me, it's about love and care. I have somehow learned that I will be considered "boring" if I don't have something negative going on. I'm not quite sure where I got this idea from. I do remember noticing myself start to do this in high school. Anyone else notice themselves doing the same thing?

[Kainan in reply to Hidden]

Sure I’ve noticed that in myself too starting in high school. I also thought that I would be labeled boring if I didn’t feel something, even if it was negative during times when I didn’t feel anything. But sure enough if you go looking for it, you’ll find something eventually. It doesn’t do any good and it only strengthens a false sense of self

[Hidden in reply to Kainan]

So true. Thanks for your reply. It feels good to know I'm not the only one who does this. I thought something was seriously wrong with me. Thankfully, I am very slowly starting to think otherwise! I've been experimenting by focusing on the good things that are happening to me. Since I'd been doing the opposite for so long it has been very uncomfortable and nerve-wracking to do so, but it takes practice to break a mindset. So far no one has dismissed me for being "boring"! I think the more times this happens, the more comfortable I'll become in doing this!

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

Yes. When you have a friend or two who enjoy having a moan, you tend to join in and it becomes a habit. It makes you acceptable to that particular "club". However, in the long term we need positive people around us.

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

👍Also, seeing positive people get support as well helps. I observe that and say to myself "hey, this is neat!".

I've also noticed that I'm starting to enjoy myself more. Others are also enjoying my company more. I still catch myself focusing on that one negative ( part of my depression,) but I'm now able to turn it around without getting scared of losing that "excitement" and driving people away.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Hidden]

That's great, Norw, and just a smile (doesn't take much) goes a very long way. 😄

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Thanks! Yes, a smile goes a long way!

[MaggieSylvie]

Yes, DoNotQuit. People don't realise that being a victim has its own rewards. But we have to ditch being a victim and find a way to become a warrior instead because that's where the real rewards lie. Warriors have more friends than victims have and things -if tough sometimes- are generally brighter.

[emmi331]

I agree with some of what you said, but I hope you realize that many people do not CHOOSE depression/anxiety as a way of life. Depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, which the sufferer certainly never asked for. It can also run in families, so there may be a genetic component. I do agree that therapy and medication should be sought, though I get the feeling nearly everyone here already has.

People with these conditions come here to vent their feelings because it's a safe place to do so. I hope we can keep it that way.

[AuntBee in reply to emmi331]

I want to heart your comment twice:)❤️❤️

[emmi331 in reply to AuntBee]

Thanks, AuntBee! 💗🥰

[Zyxx]

“my very sound advice hasn't been welcomed or made a difference that I've heard of”

Strange that most therapists don’t talk the way you do, isn’t it. They must be stupid.

[Daveacr1959]

I think all she is sharing are her years of experience, and what she has seen help. I think she is tired of seeing people responding to a post and give the standard answers. We are glad you are here . You found the right place to express your feelings. This is a safe place to share your thoughts. Seek counseling and help. And my all time favorite, welcome with some heart emoji. You can put this stuff after you give some advice on what helps you! Some real world advice on what help you. Or what you have seen help others!

I am with do not quit., a welcome with a heart emoji.. this isn’t a Facebook club about golden retrievers?

I have seen some good caring people with good advice. But the people who respond to every post, with welcome to the group and some emoji’s.. that’s not helping anyone.

[Hidden]

I’d like to let you know that even though what you posted seems rather harsh , it helped me. I took a nice long shower and combed my hair just recently. I was letting myself go . Might not seem like much but I’m glad I did it.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Keep on trucking . It's the only way. Just make sure your brakes are safe and don't end up on the hard shoulder for too long.

[TrustYourSoul]

Thank You! This makes my heart Very happy, and you did a Very good thing for your spirit (and your hair🤣).