In Aramaic language, the word “repent” simply means return; it does not have the same meaning of the English word “repentance” at all. It means “turn in, return to the source”, “return to your own being”. If you repent, you awake yourself. Because there is no other way to repent unless you awake yourself, unless you come to realize and see what you have been doing, how you have been living, how you have been wasting, how you have been hurting. When you come to realize it, a flame starts burning in you, an awareness; and in that awareness, in that light, darkness disappears. It is not that there is a God personified sitting somewhere on a throne in heaven who goes on forgiving you. There is nobody to forgive you. But if you repent, you will be forgiven. God is not a person; God is the totality. God is existence, the totality of being; and the very recognition that you have been wrong and you recognize it and you repent, is enough. All that you have been up to then is wiped, washed. You are cleansed of it. The old is gone, the new is born. This is resurrection. There’s no need for salvation and if you feel like it is a need, it has to be done by yourself, not someone else. The only pure way, the only possible way, is to go in, return inside. That’s what meditation is about; returning to the source, returning to your very being. And the moment you are aware of yourself; the moment know yourself you will be surprised- you have never committed a sin.
The idea of sin is to subjugate you, to humiliate you and to destroy your dignity. Sin has made people very guilty because whatsoever you do is a sin and you have to fight with it. And nothing comes out of it. The more you fight with a sin, the deeper its roots go in you. The more you fight, the stronger it becomes. The more you fight, the more you are a victim of it. Why? – Because the fight is with darkness. You cannot win; there is no possibility of victory. And when you get defeated again and again, you become guilty, inferior. This whole effort of fighting with sins, with wrongdoings, makes you feel guilty and inferior. You start feeling that you are absolutely unworthy, that you cannot do anything. Your spirit is not integrated through this fight; rather, it becomes ill with an inferiority complex, a guilt complex. As a matter of fact, the English word “sin” originally means forgetfulness. You can do something without being aware of what you are doing; later on you become alert that you have done something wrong. Then the best way is to go to the person to whom you have done the wrong. If you are committing sins it shows only one thing: that you are fast asleep, unaware. So do not fight with the sins; rather, on the contrary, move within and become more and more alert. As alertness grows within, sins disappear without. A moment comes when you are simply a flame of light within, alert to whatsoever you do, alert to whatsoever moves in the mind, alert to whatsoever happens in you. There is no sin then. And this is possible; this victory is just within your hands. Then you will never have the feeling of being guilty and inferior; you will never feel that you are unworthy. The more you make an effort to be conscious, the more and more you will feel accepted, worthy, welcome.
You will be surprised that in Thailand there is a small tribe of very primitive people who, even if in their dreams they harm somebody…. For example, if they beat somebody in their dreams, the first thing in the morning they have to go to that person and ask his forgiveness because, even though it was a dream, there must have been some desire somewhere which created the dream. They tell him, “I have not hurt you, and I am not going to ever hurt you. I have never been even aware that there is a desire to hurt you, but there must have been because dreams are part of reality. They just don’t come from nowhere.” And you will be surprised to know that that small tribe is the most peaceful tribe in the whole world: no fight, no rape, no murder, no suicide. And for thousands of years they have been following the same way. Slowly slowly they have stopped dreaming too. They have become so innocent that even in the unconscious there are no longer any desires to be violent, to be a rapist, to torture somebody, to kill somebody. In thousands of years, continually going to the man and asking for his forgiveness — and he is amazed, because he knows of nothing that you have done to him. But it brings you closer to him — he hugs you, he says, “There is nothing to be worried about, it was only a dream.” But you insist, “It does not matter that it was only a dream, it was my dream. I am involved in it, and unless you forgive me I will suffer.” If a man like Sigmund Freud had gone to Thailand to these people, he would have been amazed that his psychoanalysis is of no use. They don’t have any dreams, you cannot psychoanalyze them. Once in a while somebody may have a dream, but they have found a way to get rid of even a slight unconscious desire.
No complexity, no fairytale, if you have done something wrong, go to the person. Be humble, ask his forgiveness. Only he can forgive you, nobody else. And remember, that is the meaning of the word “sin”: forgetfulness. So now, don’t forget again and do the same; otherwise, your asking forgiveness becomes meaningless. Now be careful, be alert, be conscious; and don’t do the same thing again. That is true repentance. Once you made the mistake — it was just a mistake. To err is human, there is nothing to be worried about. And to forgive is divine, so if somebody comes to you and says that he has committed a mistake against you, don’t miss the opportunity of tasting something of the divine. By forgiving, he tastes something which is impossible to explain; it can only be called divine, godliness. And you also will feel something tremendously beautiful: humbleness, egolessness. But remember not to commit the mistake again. It should become a decision in you; then you are really repentant. It has nothing to do with God, it has nothing to do with any middleman; it has something to do with your own psychology. ❤️
Depression seems to always return to me.
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Suicide: NOT The Answer
Fight the Good Fight 
