People Need To Own Their Shit

No matter what the situation, no matter how you justify your bullshit, you need to own your crap. Whether you are in the right or wrong about anything in life, own it. Only when we own our bullshit can we move forward and tackle life. I've made many posts on the site and not very many people respond. No matter, this is not a post where I expect anyone to respond because we hate to face our own reality about not owning our shit. So this is not a post in search of a response. This is a post in search of self-reflection.... Yeah, I dare ya to look in the mirror

[Dolphin14]

Hi

I agree. We need to own our shit. I'm not sure what I dare you means. But I agree with you

🐬

[hypercat54]

I completely agree with you but I would put it in politer terms ie no s.... You have to take responsibility for yourself, your own emotions, feelings, actions, behaviour.

You have to learn to separate your own feelings from those of others and work out what is really happening. Then deal with it.

I would also add never lie to yourself - ever. Give white lies to others if you need to but never to you. Be true to yourself.

[Dolphin14 in reply to hypercat54]

William Shakespeare

" To thine own self be true"

That sums it up for me.

Good points hyper

❤️🐬

[hypercat54 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you Dolphin dear. x

[DodgeDhanda in reply to hypercat54]

A lie of any colour is still a lie + I want to add no lie is harmless as the point of a lie is to create harm & then unleash it.

[hypercat54 in reply to DodgeDhanda]

A little white lie to save someone's feeling is sometimes essential. That's if you want to stay on good terms with them and keep your family and friends.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to hypercat54]

But of all those we shouldn't even need to lie to is family. I personally believe in being honest but then I suppose we are all different . I suppose for me I don't spot "subtle hints" , so I prefer ppl be honest & if I don't like what they say then that's not their fault , the issue is with me getting butt hurt over the truth . But be it the whole truth or a lie , it doesn't actually change the truth & family should have & want the very best for U. ( at least in my case they do & I appreciate not everyone has that backing ). It hard understanding how some families end up living with hate in their hearts for other members of their family as I've not been in that position & I'm sorry for those that have no family to count on .

[MaggieSylvie in reply to DodgeDhanda]

There are those lies of omission that infuriate me.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I hear ya

[Isinatra]

Luckily, AA taught me the importance of owning my own shit. Admit our mistakes and make amends. I sleep better at night. I do the best I can when I can cuz I’m always a work in progress. 🙌🏼👍🏼

[hypercat54 in reply to Isinatra]

Best is best and no one can expect any more of you than that, especially yourself. Ok best is often rubbish but that's fine as it's all you can manage at the moment.

[Isinatra in reply to hypercat54]

Self inventory. Take responsibility for our own actions. Keep our own side of the street clean. Progress not perfection.

[hypercat54 in reply to Isinatra]

Oh yes exactly!

[Adlon57 in reply to Isinatra]

Well put Isinatra👍

[fauxartist in reply to Isinatra]

Haaa!... I said that once about keeping your own side of the street clean, and one member got upset with me and said I needed to be concerned about the other side too.... I didn't try to explain what that meant because I could see they were upset.

So basically for me, it means worry about my own stuff and stay out of judging someone elses.... correct me if I am wrong on this one Isinatra.

[Isinatra in reply to fauxartist]

I guess any interpretation would be ok if it produces a good outcome. Yours sounds good to me. I’ll add that to mine, which is I try to keep my own life on the right track to the best of my ability and don’t worry about what others might do. We cant control others actions, just our own.

[fauxartist in reply to Isinatra]

My mantra... we cannot control people, places, or things....and by accepting that, you give your self a break from worrying about things you can't change...it is what it is.

[Isinatra in reply to fauxartist]

And the wisdom to know the difference of what you can or cannot change. Know when to hold’em, know when to fold ‘ em. 🙌🏼

[fauxartist in reply to Isinatra]

Yeah me too.... if you just read the steps as an everyday way to deal with stuff... and don't get into any BS about it... there are some great life lessons on how to cope with guilt, regret, getting out of your own way and setting your ego aside to be able to have empathy for others which gets you out of your own head.

[Isinatra in reply to fauxartist]

True dat. The steps are basics for anybody, not just an elite group of people. 😁

[Mrspjsmom]

I agree. It's something I do and something I have always demanded from my children. Even when they complained I was being too strict.

[Blueruth]

how can you expect millennials to own when they were never asked too? Bad millennial joke NOT to be taken seriously! (Note the irony)

I do think it takes some experience recovering from failure to know your mistakes are not the end of the world and you aren’t that important (in a good way). It means knowing the difference between shame (viewing yourself as just bad) vs guilt (viewing your ACTIONS as wrong).. There is a lot of shame that goes with anxiety and depression. Owning is an act of vulnerability leading to empathy …the antidote to shame.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to Blueruth]

😇😂😂😂😂 it's the fact U felt U had to explain to those that never got it in the first place .

[Blueruth in reply to DodgeDhanda]

I didn’t want any more millennials on my case.

[fauxartist]

I have much more respect for someone who can own their own stuff. Who are a big enough person to know when they may be wrong about something and own up to it. Or just agree to disagree works for me too. But blaming others for your own shortcomings is the cowards way out and I have no respect for that.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to fauxartist]

The thing about the agree to disagree bit is in both people heads they're both saying the same thing & that is ......" Yes but I'm right '

[Blueruth in reply to DodgeDhanda]

it’s an argument by definition. No listening ever.

[fauxartist in reply to DodgeDhanda]

I just think by saying you agree to disagree is a diplomatic way of resolving a situation where two people may just have their own beliefs and will never see eye to eye, and just don't have to argue or carry on a conversation about a dead end result.

[DodgeDhanda in reply to fauxartist]

I know what U mean

[fauxartist in reply to DodgeDhanda]

Good to see ya Dodge... how you and yours are well and stay warm and cozy, it's been chilly here....

[DodgeDhanda in reply to fauxartist]

We good tyvm , hope U & urs are all well & warm too

[hypercat54 in reply to fauxartist]

Me neither my lovely friend. xx

[fauxartist in reply to hypercat54]

Hey girl!... long time no see... hope your weathering through... it's freezing here, but we are all set for the big freeze, cats are cozy, we got our jammas and hot tea.

[hypercat54 in reply to fauxartist]

'Long time no see'? You are really showing your age now my friend 😁😁. I have been bumbling away in the background as usual. Reading a lot but not saying much. x

[fauxartist in reply to hypercat54]

Ha ha women... we are both well seasoned ... and like a fine wine becomes better with age, as do we... even though I don't drink it.....haaa.... Yes.... I too have been just in and out and not saying much either. Have lots of fun stuff with Long Covid...never a dull moment. But still getting on with it....

Take care my friend and be well...

[hypercat54 in reply to fauxartist]

Oh dear that still bothering you? A friend of mine has it but seems to be getting a bit better now. I must be the only person in the world not to have had covid - touch wood.

At least us old fa.... are happily retired and can ignore the rest of the world if we want. x

[fauxartist in reply to hypercat54]

Yeah... got the bug twice....even got the Omicron after I got two jabs after my first infection early on .... just bad luck... but thankfully I am retired too like you, that's' the saving grace.

[hypercat54 in reply to fauxartist]

Yeah it's great isn't it

[fauxartist in reply to hypercat54]

Not setting the alarm clock, wearing pj's if I want to, and just doing the usual around the house stuff....then it's back to painting, watching movies and hanging out...

But baby.... I earned it.... I've worked since I was 11 years old...yeah... raised my little brother and sister, at age 13 I was still doing that and waxing and stripping kitchen and bathroom floors for 3.50, and at 14, I was bussing dishes...and never stopped working till 12 years ago...yeah.... I'm done.

[DodgeDhanda]

Hi O.

I 1million % agree but some can't handle words spoken in a certain way or manner as they jump on the defensive & feel like ur attacking then, when in fact ur encouraging them to calm down look at what is happening to oneself & then learn from it & make the changes that help U achieve more positivity in one's life.

However it all starts with self & yes other can encourage U & speak of their own experiences but one can only learn & change one's own life.

Tally ho old bean

Is another way of putting it .

Even though U did use a little course language I still think anyone could be courser in their choice of words & imagine ur post being rewritten by Samuel L. Jackson, then that's my level of minimum course.

So now the message is so on point too & I will openly admit that I may use positive words or sort of know how some folks feel it's only my personal experience I can speak from & EVERYDAY when I wake I'm thankful for another day here & try to learn more about me & how I can keep living my best life. I'm single , grown up kids & I can say for me its perfect as then I don't need to walk on eggshells & I can do what I want , when I want & wherever I want & it may not be for everyone as some think by being in a relationship or staying in a toxic one means they're not alone but those people aren't dealing with their own baggage & it will end in only one way & that's a breakdown on an epic scale. So on reflection is far better & safer to be single & deal with ur shit & keep learning the best practices to put in place & have that better life & afterward U will know the right person who to be with by choice than fear.

So to everyone here start that journey & I will guarantee each of U when U feel low or think U can't do this , pop back into this section of HU & someone will help U along the way. I do it & it helps me & most times it's just reading other posts that folk write on other threads of those that are feeling the same as I.

[Sabbath1]

Best way for self reflection is a mirror. Every time I look in one, there I am .

[Hb2003]

true that 1000%

[Nutshell9]

hey you sound like an old ornery buzzard like me…….cheers!

[Tara52]

I strive to learn humility and to practice to be kind. It doesn't come easy.

[MaggieSylvie]

Gosh! What a lot of replies you actually got!

[Hidden]

Hey Obsolete, You may not have been expecting much response but you have definitely hit the jackpot with “Owning your own Shit!” Seems a lot of us are on the same page as you. Thanks for the reminder. Always here, owning my own shit.