Update: Anxiety and Family Disapproval *trigger warning*

[PastelPink20]

Instead of moving into an apartment, I was considering moving into the dorms.

I told my parents I was considering it. Then, I told my grandmother that’s what I was planning on doing. I was shaking when I told her over the phone.

My parents found out that was my decision before I got a chance to tell them. I hadn’t even filled out all the paperwork to live in the dorm yet.

They texted me and then talked at me furiously. They are angry with me for being inconsiderate and choosing the easy way out. They aren’t paying for health insurance and vision and dental coverage. They are planning on returning the Christmas presents they got. They are not storing anything for me. It’s my responsibility to move everything by myself and to rent a storage unit for anything I can’t bring into the dorm. I am having a very hard time eating in this house right now; I don’t want to eat.

They wanted me to move into an apartment with my younger brother. If I move into the dorm, my younger brother can’t move out.

On one hand, they are so mad at me for being lazy, not getting a job, and not planning or being excited for my future. On the other hand, they are so mad at me for changing their plans.

Overall, they don’t like talking to me. They don’t like listening to me. They believe that my anxiety, depression, eating issues, sleep issues, and gastrointestinal issues are a choice. And I’m not choosing to get better. Their goal was to get 2 of their adult children out of their house and, to me, it felt like they didn’t consider everything I was worried about. The finances. Our mental health. My mental health.

Part of me wishes I had gone with their plan because then they wouldn’t be yelling at me. But, I know what they think of me and whatever I lived in the apartment or the dorm, they are done with me.

I have 1 more year at university. If I lived with my brother, I would have had to drop out of college in order to work full-time to afford an apartment. Honestly, I can barely pass my classes now with my part time job. I have gotten a 2nd job. In the past when I have worked multiple jobs and lived with a roommate or alone and done full-time school, I stop eating and I self-harm more, and I become suicidal (I’m still here). I have grown a lot and I’m proud of my progress.

But, wouldn’t it be cruel to knowingly put myself in a situation where I am going to start hurting myself and become sicker? Isn’t it okay to choose the easier of two difficult options?

Either way, I will be moved out. I will be independent. I will be working a full-time job in a year (if I can get one in my field) and be graduated.

[Roxylox]

I would say you are making the right decision.l feel it would be quite unfeasible to get an apartment while still in college.You have been through so much.

I feel you really have great strength.

Best of luck.

[Hidden]

Dependant on your age, I would consider the Dorm option until you finish UniYes it will be testing on you although in many ways it would be the beginning a trial on adulthood and being surrounded by your Peers.

However I gather you are still at home and the benefits of being there of course is the support you are getting from your Parents. It seems if you can hold of moving on at this time it will give you time to save up for your own flat.

However your Parents are wishing you move in with your Brother, although you are not financially placed at this time if you move in at this time.

Your Parents seem to pushing you to share with your Brother so in a way assistance may be given if you share together ??

I lived at my Family Home well into my late twenties before I moved into a flat with my future Wife, I wished I had done moving out sooner rather than later as my College was over twenty miles from home, this made to day very long.

I should have moved out and moved into a Hall of Residance and that would have made my day shorter and swatting easier, However that was over fifty years ago, we need to learn by experience, good and bad

It is up to you I am afraid and these distractions will be effecting term planning and you needs and expectations. As long as you get on with your Brother the Companionship may be a positive experience, only you know if the experience is possitive. As we get older we learn to make our own way.

When it comes down to Mental Health Concerns , they need to be addressed.

Consider talking to College Social Services to approach and settle yourself down. Remember you are still in early days, it does take time to make positive inroads in the Life you desire. Your Parents seem to be putting pressure on you, they most probably are concerned because you are spreading your Wings and the concern they feel will possibly seem overwhelming

BOB

[b1b1b1]

Your parents do not seem to understand you or your concerns at all. It is not your job to provide a place for your brother to live; that is the job of your parents. Ir is not clear to me why they are so eager to push their children out of the house, and it does not speak well for them. I think you will be better off in a dorm and will be able to concentrate on studying rather than working full time, basically for your brother's benefit.

During your last year of school it would be good to take advantage of counseling offered by most colleges. It is usually free and pretty available.

It is lucky that you are almost ready to be independent, and I wish you well.

[hypercat54]

Your parent sound awful and you are very young to be forced out like this. They could at least have waited until you had finished your college.

Tell them that you will move into an apartment with your brother if they pay the first years rent. I bet they will shut up then. Good luck.

[Midori in reply to hypercat54]

I agree.

[Midori]

Wow! Just how cruel are your family?

You are doing the right thing in getting away from them.

Cheers, Midori