Hello. I'm here because I have a boyfriend who has depression and I don't know how to deal or help him or what to do. He started being short and distance with me for like 2 weeks. I got anxious because I felt a shift in the relationship. Last week, he told me that he was struggling for a couple of weeks. He told me that he loved me but needed some time to get ahold of the thoughts that are constantly running through is brain. I really know what any of that means. I am trying to give him space in hopes that he'll find help and get things together, but I also don't know how to support him or how much is enough space or not enough or too much. I don't want to make this about me, because I realize he's going through something that I don't understand, but I want to know how to be there and to let him know I'm here without burdening him or his process.
How to support someone with depression - Anxiety and Depre...
How to support someone with depression
Hi there. What a nice thing to do! I can tell that you really care for him. My suggestion would be to let him know that you are there for him, but not to push the issue. I like knowing that I have someone to talk to if I need it, but I don’t like being pressured because that makes me feel trapped.
I think you did a good job. He knows you are there. Maybe say "hey" every week or so. If he does ask for specific help from you I suggest being vigilant about your own boundaries. Self care is equally important in a situation like this.
You are doing an awesome job for wanting to help him through this. I would definitely be happy to have someone there for me, and I wish I did the first time I discovered I had depression. Even if we push others away, for me, when I was alone, I wished so much to have someone to talk to. I didn't want to go to the doctors, but my parents took me because my mom wasn't happy where I was. Medications at least help keep things in check most of the time. You definitely have such a kind heart. I will keep you in my prayers. Sending hope and encouragement.
I am in a similar situation so I understand where you're coming from. My boyfriend distancing himself from me used to make me think I was doing something wrong. I've found that by giving him his space when he needs it, but also letting him know I'm here for him in messages sometimes really helped. In the meantime I read up on depression and also how it can effect those around the person suffering. It really helped me see how he's feeling and understand much better now. Hope that helps.
You might also offer to help him get help/find a therapist if he wants one. Sometimes depressed/anxious people feel somewhat paralyzed and can't focus or concentrate to take care of themselves. Don't push it but just offer.