I am new here and have joined because I still do not feel comfortable opening up to my close family or friends. I have been dealing with anxiety and depressive episodes, as well as extremely maladaptive thought patterns for the past 3 years. I have been self harming intermittently for 5 years, and suicidal thoughts are a regular occurrence. I've sought out help on multiple occasions but have never really followed through. The only person who knows about all this is my partner, and while he is very helpful and supportive, it can be alot for him to bear the responsibility of it all.
This past week I tried committing suicide for the first time. I used a method that I knew was unlikely to work, but the mere fact that I actually tried to do it scares me immensely. I don't know how to come back from this incident and move forward with my head up and a strong will, and any advice would be much appreciated. I do intend to continue seeing my therapist in the fall (my therapist is in a different province and I will only be back there in the fall).