Dad Airlifted back to Mayo Clinic W/ Covid Complications, After Kidney Transplant And Mother is in a downward spiral, "Self Medicating"

[Luna_Love143]

Sorry guy's I really need to vent. I live in different states from my dad and family and can't see him right now because of the restrictions. Today My dad got Airlifted to Arizona for covid related complications. A little over a Month ago things were totally different after him being on dialysis for a few years 4 times a week he was blessed with the gift of a new kidney at the Mayo Clinic in Arizona. After he returned home in California he was doing Amazing with no more dialysis treatments he felt like a new man. Then...Even though he had taken all the safety precautions he picked up Covid. The kidney was taking great to his body. Then he became sick. and went downhill fast. He currently has a blood infection that went to his brain causing major confusion causing him to be restrained down in the bed and double pneumonia. He was airlifted back to the Mayo Clinic which I know is one of the best hospitals there is. I can't stand the thought of him there all alone. The hospital he was admitted to first in our hometown my step sister worked there in the covid unit and got to care for him! I thought that was amazing. She video messaged me a bit ago as he was about to load into the ambulance and head to the helipad so I can see and talk to dad and give him my love. It was one of the hardest things I had to do, in that moment he didn't look the same all I could do was cry, I feel like I couldn't get the words out right and I am taking it really hard. What if that's the last time I ever get to talk to him? So many things going through my mind. Sorry If I am rambling on... Just one more thing...

The Other Thing.... My Mom. I'm not going to sugar coat anything She is a Addict. Alcohol and pills, she'll pretty much abuse any Benzo or Narcotic. She has been totally zonked out of her mind these past few day's. I can hear it in her voice over the phone (we live in different states) I am scared and worried about her, I completely understand she is grieving and going through a tough time but She is scaring the crap out of my siblings + the rest of our family. She isn't alone My 2 younger sisters and younger brother live with her, they are in their 20's. I know they are concerned and scared to. And I remember all too well how it was growing up with my mom and taking care of her while was pissed drunk every other day. I feel bad that my siblings have to see my mother this way and be her caregiver (because Usually that was my job before I moved away) So in some deep twisted way I feel responsible for her. I don't know what to do. (She has been to inpatient treatment over 7 times, the last time was last year!!) She basically goes in to help herself detox and will stay for the 30, 60 even 90 days the she'll come out do fine for a month or so then fall off the wagon. I feel so many emotions right now, my anxiety and panic is intense. I can literally feel my heart racing and skipping right now. I'm afraid I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown. I have been trying to be strong for my kids and husband but I don't know how much more I can handle.

Thanks for listening. I really appreciate if you took the time to read this. -Luna

[Roxylox]

Sorry for all you are going through at the moment. I think you did your bit for your mother. As you say you have your own family to think of now, hugs

[fauxartist]

I am so very sorry Luna, your having a really tough time worrying about your dad, and having a very difficult time especially in the long term with a mom that's substance abusing. It's brave of you to share this. I do have some understanding of having an absentee parent who you are having to give up your childhood to mind and become the adult child. It's not fair, it's not your fault, and you did nothing to deserve all of this. Kids who have a parent that drinks and abuses are always trying, hoping and pleading for them to stop, but find it a losing battle that they will never win. There is Al-anon, and a really great group called ACoA that helps us to relate and understand that there are many of us out there.

Thank you for sharing, ...I'm glad you have your sisters who can be with your dad and help you understand what is happening with him.