Please help. Sis will have orphange for her birthday. Or a step family with the baby that ruined my life. Mom wants to give us

[Against_the_current]

This is an emergency. Sis will have a birthday on 17th february and Grandma wanted to come and asked mom. Mom told us granma is coming. I'm struggling these days a lot and we live in 2 rooms and i got upset, i know i shouldn't have gotten upset everyone are telling me it's my fault, well i was just anxious and i got mad because it's sis birthday and she should have asked sis and we should have talked about it. Mom got mad. She said she's gonna give us to dad AND his new wife and baby. Sis was crying and she said "Do you know you have a sister?" and made it worse. Upset sister for her birthday. I was just trying to protect her. What if dad doesn't want her, she's gonna get orphange for her birthday. She got a trauma for her birthday. She said all her birthdays are terrible because of this family. That's why i'm staying here, after her birthday i will go to university city and stay there. Sis will be alone, dumbed at new environtment with the baby and stepmother that ruined our lives for her birthday without me and mom. We fight a lot but we need mom. She's taking her anger on dad on us. As If we aren't struggling. I have been losing my mind since 2 years because of him. If i ever did something stupid like hurting her, or not doing chores, or being mad at her, it's because of my mental illnesses. But we're good children. Nobody dropped out of school, we're full A. If i do something that upset her it's because of her and mine mental illnesses. If she tells me to lick to floor i would do it. I would do litterary everything for her and sis. I'm just sick. And i'm sick because of dad. And instead of seeing us as someone who suffers over him with her, she punishes us for his mistakes. Sis is gonna be 15. 3 more fucking years. I'm staying here untill 17th and then i run away. Sis will either be left alone with step family that ruined everyone and without me and mom or taken to orphange. I try to beg mom but she doesn't listen to any logic. I was out of my mind, i was just trying to protect sis. Mom doesn't listen to any logic. She stopped talking to us yesterday night. Only scolding us If something. I was in the bathroom puking and she yelled at me for staying too long. Only interaction with her besides another scold. But she's silent and i don't know what is going through her mind. When sis was crying she said "do you know you have a sister". Hurts so much. I'm on 2 mg Clonasepam (1 yesterday night and 1 today and i can't stop vomiting). Please, i'm scared.

[Hidden]

Hello. My heart goes out to you, I don’t know what else I can do or say. Do not take on other peoples blame and shame. Stay strong.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. It's so hard. I'm crying and vomiting all day. Sis has it even worse and my heart aches for her and idk how she's managing it but i worried