I'm new to this

[Alabama7]

I am new to this, I am 24 year old female and have been working full-time while managing to stay in school and try to finish. I am engaged to someone who has three children and I battle with a lot of anxiety and depression. A lot of the Anxiety centers around I am a people pleaser even when I don't want to be. I am trying to learn to be more positive in my thinking, I put myself down a lot and worry about things that haven't even happened or probably won't. Just wondering if anyone else has experiences with anything like this, also with the blending families with the kids and trying to co-parent with their mother and my fiance and somehow feeling like it is an endless battle that I will never win.

[autumnmarie5]

Hi Alabama7, it's nice to meet you and I'm glad you are here! 😊 There's a lot you wrote in your post that I can relate too! I am a 23 year old female with anxiety and I'm also a SEVERE people pleaser. I can't stand the thought of someone being upset with me or someone not liking something about me. However, I'm not experienced in the part of being with someone with children already. I have a friend that deals with this and she relays to me the struggles of it and although I can't relate, I do listen to her vent and give her advice on what I might do in her situation. I am always here if you would like someone to message and sometimes I've found it's easier talking to a stranger than someone you know, I feel less judged. I know with my anxiety it's definitely a battle and some days are definitely harder than others but I try to remember that "this too shall pass" and not everyday is the same. Hope that somewhat helps at least! Glad you made it to this forum 🤗

[Lin1944]

Hi, I am 77 years old and suffered with anxiety/ depression for nearly 28 years since the Menopause. I am a people pleaser and want to be liked by everyone. I go out of my way to help people and if I hear someone hasn’t been loyal to me I get very sad. I just wish I would toughen up and realise how ever much I try not everyone will like me or speak well of me.Would love advice about how to get rid of low self esteem. X

[Midori]

I think that with 3 kids to Co-parent you will have to become more assertive or they will ride all over you!

How is their father with them? You will need to take a similar line on discipline with him or you will also find you are being played one against the other.

Also if you can try to find out how the mother disciplines them, and run a course between the two.

But I would say asstertiveness training is a must!

Cheers, Midori