I'm new

[carlybette]

Hi, I'm new to this community and wanted to introduce myself. I have had depression for most of my life as well as anxiety. I'm 72 years old but, apparently, still a work in progress. Currently I am in a DBT program to try to reduce my intense emotions and help me accept my life. My husband has Alzheimer's and has been kicked out of 2 facilities because of aggressive behavior. My life is a struggle dealing with him and my depression. Mindfullness seems to be helping, at least at the moment. Taking a step back and looking at my life seems to be helping me reduce my anxiety. Instead of anxiously waiting for my life to change or someone to rescue me, I have started to accept what is. All of this mental change is exhausting. And I have trouble looking to God when I'm in a depressive episode. And I feel like I may be starting to spiral down. Seems to happen after a period of positivity. Anne

[Starrlight]

Wow you sound like an incredible person who is working hard and dealing with so much. I hope dbt will help. I bet it will. I may be taking that class too soon. I have had the opportunity to go to practice meditation/mindfulness classes but that was years ago and I got out of the habit.

I can relate in a way as my mother now has Alzheimer’s and is in the later stages. I might understand some of the emotions that go along with a loved one suffering from it and it takes a lot out of the person’s family members... so sorry you are going through the troubles that can occur with the disease. Having it be your husband I can only imagine.

Lately I have had trouble for a few years with feeling close to and trusting in God. I feel like He gave up on me or I am just not in the right place to be able to have access somehow. I am saying a prayer for you and me right now that He will give whatever He knows is best for us. I feel like He is actually more loving toward us than we even know how to be to ourselves.

I am happy that mindfulness is helping, I feel when I can just stop judging and watch and really let experiences flow their natural way while being present yet I step back a little bit and really see it’s so helpful.

So welcome. This is a beautiful place filled with beautiful people like yourself.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[carlybette in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you so much for your reply. Today I am just overwhelmed with life. And trying DBT and mindfulness is adding to the overwhelming feeling. Sometimes I just get tired of it all. Life, trying this and trying that and just the mundane things that have to be done, such as mopping, laundry, etc. add up and end in overload. So I guess I'm just having a bad day. I know intellectually that it will pass and get better. It just doesn't feel that way. Thank you for your reply, It helps to know someone is thinking about me.

Anne

[Starrlight in reply to carlybette]

I know, beautiful. I feel the same way most every day. Even having the solid logic from past good times doesn't seem enough when we are deeply inside of the illness engulfing I guess (hard to describe). I get overwhelmed overstimulated easily.

Well it’s so nice to have you here and I’d like to be good friends.

You are doing so much! I know the feeling with two littlish and one grown sons I get thinking how do I try this or that I’m done, ya know!?

I am sending good vibes over to you right now((((((((((((((((((((((((

[Spooky99]

I am new here myself. 51 and have been dealing with it all my life. Some days are good some bad. I’m on medication. I hate it because it makes me tiered! I lost my best friend to cancer in June. Sometimes I think God should have taken me instead of her. She was a smart lawyer and led a productive life. I feel my kids look at me as lazy. I’m so sorry about your husband. I couldn’t imagine. I’ve been saying the rosary every night to fall asleep. I’ve been through every medication. Therapy. Meds help manage. I came on her looking for people like myself. Sometimes I think I’m just crazy lol

[carlybette in reply to Spooky99]

Thank you for your reply and welcome. I, too, have been dealing with depression just about my whole life, anyway, I can't remember when I wasn't struggling. I went to an intense partial hospitalization program and the psychiatrist reviews my meds and now am feeling a little better. Apparently, meds only deal with half the symptoms of depression and therapy does the rest. Today is not a good day. Just overwhelmed with life. In a dark place. Have a therapy appointment later today so hopefully that will help. Although I'm not sure it will because he is a new therapist and not attuned to me yet. Plus he is like 12 years old it seems. Anne

[Starrlight in reply to Spooky99]

Hi Spooky 😊

[Spooky99 in reply to Starrlight]

Hello!😊

[Starrlight in reply to Spooky99]

How r u today?

[Spooky99 in reply to Starrlight]

I’m pretty good!! How are you??

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Welcome to the community. You’ll get a lot of support here. Wonderful people with a wealth of experience, strength and hope. I suffer from depression and anxiety, presently being treated with counseling and meds.

You’ve got it rough with your husband’s Alzheimer’s. I took care of my father while the illness took its toll. It’s a nasty disease. And so is depression.

I’m sending prayers and good energy your way. I’m here if you need to talk. Keep posting and sharing what’s going on with you. We are caring and interested. Lynne

[carlybette in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Hi Lynne,

Thank you for your reply. Today I am overwhelmed with life and in a dark place. Just seems to hit me out of nowhere that I can figure out. It's nice to know someone is thinking about me.

Anne

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to carlybette]

Hang in there. I understand the dark place, but even if you can’t see it, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

[carlybette in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Thank you. I needed that.

[SuZQ154]

You seem very self-aware and work hard at overcoming your depression and anxiety. Your feelings of not being able to rely on God are understandable, yet your heart still seems open to letting HIM in. You might want to check out this book "Anxious for Nothing" because it describes how we can lay our anxious thoughts before HIM and we do not have to work so hard. I know that is easier said than done. Nonetheless, I would encourage you to check it out. bit.ly/2YYp1lR Hope this helps and praying for you today.

[carlybette in reply to SuZQ154]

Thank you for your reply. I do work hard to overcome my depression but today is not a day that I have been successful. Just overwhelmed with life right now and in a dark place. I know it will pass, which in itself is a major insight, but it is still depression and is still rearing it's ugly head. Thank you for your prayers.

[SuZQ154]

I understand!!! You might want to check out the book and please keep posting