I drink alcohol 0-1 times per week socially with friends. My New Years resolution was to not black out for the year, but I screwed that one up last night.
Edit: Usually I’m fine just having a couple. But maybe once every 6 months after having a couple I keep going and I black out by the end of the night. I have great friends and my husband to make sure I’m safe when this happens, but the following day I feel awful mentally and physically trying to piece together what happened.
I know many of you are mentioning I go to AA. It’s hard for me to get myself to do that when I go overboard a couple times a year.
I get blacking out is not okay. I’d love to quit drinking. I’d say I binge drink a couple times a year and feel awful after. I have an alcohol problem, I’m not sure it’s considered an addiction.
What are some ways you stopped drinking without going to AA?
The only time I feel like I should have a drink is when I’m in an environment of hanging out with friends.
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Hi try going onto the British Liver Trust Forum on here, (Health unlocked) read some stories on there. I'm sure if you posted, you will get some really helpful and advice...just a thought? Take good care 😊
I hope it helps just be aware it is people that have all kinds of liver disease, from alsorts of reasons. Some are Alcohol related, some are auto immune related, some Hep C, don't be afraid to ask questions about liver terminology, it's pretty full on to understand. Bit you might find people members that ate similar. Read ny profile, another one is Ash, or Richard Allen. Both of those members are genuine Richard especially will go out of his way to help any way he can. AyrshireK (Katie) is very wise and straight to the point. Don't get put off by people simply posting change friends, do you have liver disease, if I see your post, or questions I'll help you as much as I can. Maybe just read few posts first. Don't Google yourself to death though! 😂 in a nice way, I'm trying to be light hearted as with any medical issue, we Google things, then by the time read and gone off onto different reasons, we think we are going to die, does that make sense? xXx here of you need advice 😊
I don’t have anything wrong with my liver so it can be hard for me to relate. I just have an alcohol problem when I do drink. I found another page called drink free. I posted in it earlier today but no one’s replied
It depends what I’m doing that weekend. I usually have a mix of shots and cocktails. My problem is that if I want to have a fun night, I feel like I need to drink alcohol, else I’m bored and annoyed being around other people that are drinking. Once I start drinking, I can’t limit myself. I drink to the point of blacking out. The next few days I’ll be obsessing trying to piece together that night and praying I didn’t embarrass myself.
Well if you don't want to drink at all, which I can understand,(along as its not any kind of inhibition breaker) is to possibly alternate every alcoholic drink to a soft one, subtly order a round if it's your round if you feel pressurised? If not in a paying for rounds situation then order yourself a coke or lemonade, ice, lemon + straw. Not good that you black out. 😬😬😬
That must be very scary. In your case I would think you need to avoid those kinds of events altogether at least for now. There is shift in thinking about this. The med that makes alcohol displeasurable is an option. So is abstaining for a while to get it out of your system. Life long abstinence, which was the norm before, is not the only solution. You need to work out what is best for you. A doctor can help.I understand not being able to stop although for me it doesn’t get that far. I don’t do this often but if I am at home with wine I will finish it. So I just don’t have it at home anymore. Beer or anything else — not a problem. Just the wine. I save it for going out.
I wish I had the self control to be around my friends and not feel tempted to drink alcohol. I tell myself all the time I’m never going to drink again. It never lasts.
Well, it might be difficult to give up two things you enjoy at once but if you want to remain healthy you might have to suck it up. In fact I did that after high school.
Just joining in with Blueruth, absolutely if you can find the right time, or just say to your friends, actually not feeling it tonight, don't feel like blacking out, working out what happened, fitting blank jigsaws together then the physical side is killing me ...kind of thing (but actually it could indeed in fact go that way).Be brave, be strong 💪 be yourself! You don't have to fit in....just out of curiosity how do your friends end up, after these evenings? 🤔
Thank you, those are very encouraging words.. exactly what I needed! My friends seem to handle themselves just fine. From time to time someone will black out, but I haven’t known someone to get the kind of anxiety and depression I feel after a night out.
Take a night or a weekend off...you can make excuses if you feel you have to, but really...just say the truth. I don't want to feel how I do, I don't like it, it makes me worse with anxiety mentally physically, so I'll give it a miss this week..honesty is the best way and of they are your real friends, they will accept that. I have met so many different new people, from dropping the alcohol. Not encouraging me because they understand and RESPECT my wishes. YOU are very important YOUR decisions and morals are your own and unique and you should be respected for that. Don't give in!! Stay strong, be you, be proud 👏 because you are beautiful and obviously concerned which is why you are putting your hand up, good move. Do it more, watch how your world, friends change for the better! 😊
Addiction is a very shame based disorder. Start with AA. That might lead you to something better or more affective if you don't connect there. Keep coming back here.
Thank you. I’m going to do my best to stay sober for a while. I’m glad I got some good words of encouragement on here.If this continues, maybe I’ll look into AA.
Hi! I can relate. Personally, I separated from my friends when we were going to bars and drinking almost every weekend. I wasn't sure what else I wanted to do, but anything else felt more fun, even alone. You can save a lot of money too. I don't miss it, but I can understand if these are important friends you may not want to lose them. Maybe you can tell a friend to help you make your drinks and water them down, set an alarm to drink water, eat plenty of food, and know your tolerance level. You might invite your friends to do something non alcohol related, like a movie or dinner, something where you're being entertained and not worried about feeling like you should entertain them. There's support all over the place for alcohol related issues, so just keep it up and you'll find what's best for you
Thank you. These are important friends. You’re right I should talk to them about my problem when I start drinking and ask for their help. I just hope it works because we’re all on the quieter side and don’t really like having to tell eachother what to do and what not to do.
I had a very similar issue, I'd always drink more than I should at social events/situations. Then the next day I would feel awefully depressed and anxious. It's really difficult to change when you're friends are used to you drinking with them.
One thing I did find helpful was to have a non alcoholic beer between every alcoholic one, or a shandy.
The other thing was to mention to my friends how bad I was finding hang overs, they actually agreed as they also were finding them bad, and tried to limit them selves too. Now it is much easier to stay out of rounds, or to say no to another drink, as my friends know and appreciate why.
It’s so weird but I’ve told my friends multiple times I feel anxious and depressed the day after drinking and no one has said they do too. It made me feel like there’s something wrong with me and it’s partially why I decided to join these support groups.
No there is nothing wrong with you, it's why a lot of people don't drink much.I have a friend who doesn't drink at all and everyone is fine with him when he is out now.
If your friends aren't ok with you drinking less or not drinking then it may be worth considering if they really are friends or just drinking buddies. Would you want to hangw out with them anywhere else / not drinking?
They are good friends and I do hang out and get dinners with them without drinking. It’s just every once in a while when we go out I’ll drink too much, not fully remember my night and just feel so horrible about it for days.They would always support my decisions not to drink. I just have to tell myself not to even start.
I used to be like you, when I was younger and its so hard especially because drinking yourself into a state of blacking out, puts you at serious risk of harm from others wishing to take advantage of the situation and I think we both know what I mean. My body no longer tolerates alcohol, so cannot drink at all any more. My son gave me a good tipto get off the drink as was drinking heavily every night, which was to cut down by drinking one less can a night I.e drink 5 cans a night for 5 weeks, 4 a night for 4 weeks, 3 a night for 3 weeks etc. Other than that cutting down gradually or stopping completely is the only way to stop what is clearly (to me anyway) an addiction and as my twin brother is a recovering alcoholic I've seen the damage it did to him, his family and his children. I would try to get some help as it certainly appears, you know you have a problem and it won't go away by itself.
Hi Poodle. I highly recommend going to the official Al-Anon web site and reading a little. You can also call someone from that site and discuss what happens when you drink. Alcoholism is a disease and the vast majority of people need help to take care of themselves. You are not alone. There are so many others that have this problem. Many of them can help you find your way. By the way you don’t have to drink all the time, lose you job and live on the street to have this problem. Many people are very upstanding citizens who just cannot even have one drink. As I said, you are not alone and there is help.
You are receiving many kind and caring answers with various solutions to control your drinking.
However, if you are binge-drinking one or two times a week to the point of blacking out, your drinking is already out of control, and you are likely either an alcoholic or are headed in that direction. It will be difficult to drink responsibly or limit your alcohol intake if this is the case. Many alcoholics are bingers; others are chronic alcoholics who have to drink every day.
As a recovering alcoholic, I recommend you try two things: First, try the many suggestions given here to see if they will work for you in the long run. Second, find a copy of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous", which is not just about the program in the title, but also provides an excellent education about what the disease is. The book should be available in any library. I recommend if you read nothing else, read "The Doctor's Opinion" toward the beginning of the book.
If you are alcoholic, it is nothing to be ashamed of, since you did not ask to be one. It has long been recognized as an illness by the medical community, and there are treatments for it.
Absolutely nothing to be ashamed about it's difficult at the time, now I prefer to say I had a problem with alcohol rather than alcoholic as people jump and judge so quickly. Many ghosts in people's closets and self medicating seems the only way at the time to suppress, rather than dealing with the actual reason why the alcohol is being used. If that makes sense.
Hi. I used to love a drink, though could always stop at my 'limit' which was about four to five pints of beer. Spirits were harder to stop, as they taste so good! (love cocktails!) But eventually, I got to the point where I just couldn't drink so much anymore, like just one pint was getting hard for me to finish. But also, I had gotten to the point where I discovered that I liked getting tipsy, after just one or two drinks, but no longer enjoyed getting completely off my head! (Drunk). One other thing, is that I now have really bad indigestion, maybe caused by too much alcohol over the years and that feels like my chest is on fire when eating or drinking! The last bit, is that I also now have Prostate Cancer, and although the prognosis is fairly good, the side effects of Radiation Therapy has caused untold damage in my abdominal region, as apparently it uses radiation to 'burn' your prostate into submission! (This is obviously just for men.) But hopefully I am still in a good enough state to survive a while longer. (My partner will kill me if not!) So I hope this helps you a bit, or a lot even! I am twice your age (62), but wish I could tell the younger me to learn to control my drinking a bit more! (Not forgetting of course that drinking a lot ages you faster.) Make sure that you enjoy your drinking more, like noticing how it tastes, instead of just gulping it down. I could finish three pints of beer within a few minutes, but now just enjoy the taste of it, rather than the effects. And realise also, that being so young, you still have many years ahead of you to enjoy life. When you wake up drunk or with a hangover, try to remember what that feels like and then remember that at your next drinking session. Yes I know it's hard at the time. But I hope the fact that it's too late for me to be fixed, will help you think of this old man's problems (there are plenty of women in the same position!) and try to control it a bit more. Like maybe stop one drink before your normal limit and maybe two the next week. But there is plenty of help out there, if you really want to change. Good luck!
Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry about all the health problems that have developed. I like that you mentioned to enjoy the taste versus slurping it down. I think one thing I failed to mention in my original post is that I don’t get hammered every week. It’ll be once maybe every 6 months I’ll go overboard with drinking and not remember my night. I know I’m safe with my friends and husband, but I wake up feeling depressed and anxious praying I didn’t do or say something bad.
I also like that you mentioned alcohol will age you faster. That’s a good reminder for myself of what I don’t want!
Only me again 😊 the below are genuine links to any helplines, AA is a good one, but not for everyone. There are other organisations and charities that do 'one to one' if a group is not your thing, (it wasn't my cup of tea, no pun intended). But have a quick look. I lost count how many times I said "Did I? Really OMG" from drinking, the humility and feeling ashamed, see people the next day (I don't mean one night stands, cripes that sounds a bit slutish, I didn't mean that) just regular people I would hang around with, or go out with - friends. You know they would say, don't you remember doing...A,B,C ..😳 NO, I DIDN'T. Some people usually men, that get bladdered, just laugh it off. I can't, rephrase that couldn't do that, just laugh it off. Anyway, your real friends will understand, if not, they aren't real friends. As you know alcohol kills brain cells, that is the minimal, shakes are the body's way of trying to get rid of toxins, people then have hair of the dog, the cycle repeats. Then before I knew it I had Cirrhosis. Whole new ball game I nearly died three years ago. Cirrhosis has SO many other side effects which are also life threatening. PLEASE at least cut down, or stop. But I recommend sincerely seeing your GP, as instant stopping if you are a big drinker can cause damage. So be very aware. I am no way medically trained to say do this, do that, but I know what happened to me. GP 1st point of call.
See links below xXx why not be the 1st of your friends to start something new, see if others are interested once they realise the full potential of its toxins.
I will look into these. The 1:1 is likely going to be better for me at least in the beginning. I do feel some ptsd when people bring up the drunk nights I don’t remember too! Its so embarrassing. I think I’ll eventually be able to look back and say yep I made mistakes but for now it’s a little too soon and it hurts.
Good luck 👍 Loads of help out there but you have to push for it. Possibly a waiting time, so just stick with it and when something comes up, ie an appointment grab it!
Perhaps in the mean time, make a conscious decision to alternate drinks, have some water too, will help flush through, so the physical effects the next day aren't so bad. I feeling I'm encouraging you, which is not my intention. Far from it, but a gentle approach is better than an OMG you are doing so much harm to your body. I hope that makes sense. All meant in a caring way 🤗
Alcohol does not kill brain cells. It’s an old phrase that was used before science had a better understanding of the effects of alcohol on the brain. What alcohol does do to the brain is that it damages neurons. When a person finally quits drinking,the neurons will heal over time, but not always a hundred percent. That depends on how long and how much a person has been drinking. When neurons are damaged, it affects cognitive abilities creating or exacerbating mental health issues. Science does not know at what point the consumption of alcohol starts the process of damage to the body/brain. That is still being researched. The general consensus of science, though, is that there is no good reason for a person to drink at all. Alcoholic or not.
the support of AA is the only thing that's ever worked for me-36 years later. It is recommended that if you are an alcoholic (btw, normal drinkers do not experience black outs)try 90 AA meetings in 90 days and see if it helps. I found that listening in those meetings, allowed me to hear my own story/feelings, and the support helped keep me sober, one day at a time. Best wishes!
Please go get help! There are many suggestions on here, AA, etc, but please get help. I lost a close friend about 10 years ago to alcohol. She was a'functional' alcoholic for a long time then got worse. It got to the point she was drunk a good bit of the time and she ended up dying in her sleep. Her neighbor hadn't seen her in a few days and went to check on her.. I'm not saying this to scare you, but drinking too much can progress. Cut back or quit while you can..
Hope you will keep in mind that how often you drink is not as important as what happens WHEN you drink....😔
First place I started was with my doctor to get my blood levels checked and because I was a hard core boubon daily drinker before work and until I passed out every night he recommend I check into a 30 day rehab which I did, I work and continue to work the AA program and have no desire to drink, I have 11 years sober and it doesn't bother me to be around people that drink, the hard core drinkers I hung out with before seem to go away, Good luck it works if you work it.
Alcohol is a sneaky, addictive, progressive drug to people who are susceptible to it. No one knows when they take that first drink if they will become addicted to alcohol or not. It’s a game of Russian roulette. Those lucky people that don’t have a problem with alcohol can take it or leave it. Always. The only way to guarantee that you won’t drink too much and then blackout is to not drink. My drinking started out like yours (a common story of millions), then progressed. Once in a while I drank, sometimes with blackouts, sometimes not. Then weekends, a night during the week, then a few nights a week, then every night, then while I worked. I knew in the beginning that I had a problem and eventually knew I was alcoholic, but I thought I could stop on my own (that’s what my addiction told me) and the stigma attached prevented me from seeking help. That was then and this is now. The stigma is fading and there are more resources today. I stopped drinking 20 years ago with the help of AA, a twelve step program and therapy. I needed the therapy to help me understand why I started to rely on drinking in the first place. Alcohol is a robber of life, not a giver. People everywhere, every day can live a good life without it. You can too.
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