What are you thinking right now? How are you?

[Starrlight]

I am trying to focus on Hope and trusting in the process down my journey

Thankful that if I can take a step back it’s because I’m human and life has conditions I am not a horrible person when I feel badly, that’s when I need to be the most compassionate towards self and expect it from others and not to be walked on at my weak times. No one deserves that treatment.

I’m distracting my intrusive thoughts by writing and reading, watching a movie drinking water and kombucha. Yet I’m still afraid. Of something to do with people of this world and the unknown.

I am m thankful that the difficult times in my day are in the past

I am thankful things get easier maybe tomorrow will be a good day.

Angry because so much seems to be piling up and I’m scared. So if I am sad or scared I tend to sabotage and go into the non awareness or disillusionment.

After every difficulty comes ease.

And most importantly here is a Coco who stays in the now.

[Hidden]

Top Notch

[Joshgw]

I am always amazed by how you can have such a positive outlook. I envy it.

[Starrlight in reply to Joshgw]

Awww thank you Joshgw!

[Nothing_but_books]

Hi Coco! I found a YouTube for baby today. It's all Green-Cheeked Parakeet sounds: chirps, tweets, screeches. I played it on "loop". She listened quietly for about five minutes, then -- Oh! I wish you could have heard her. She talked back! She was so excited. I loved it.

For a follow up, she "Bat-Girl" stalked, upside-down, back and forth across the top of her cage. Why do I get the weird ones?

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Aww that’s super awesome! I love your Tara!

[Nothing_but_books]

Me, I'm distracting myself from intense pain with lemon biscotti, ginger chai, and pretzels.

Your clarity in sharing what you're feeling, and doing with it, is terrific! Yay Starr ⭐!

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thank you my friend!!! Love ya

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

Here’s another pic of Coco in the heat of the day at a garden center.

Coco’s tounge

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

Beautiful Coco. I love seeing her happy smile.

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Btw sounds yummy

[Hope4me1]

I can relate to all you describe and I am feeling all those things. I try and be kind to myself and give myself the nurturing I need during the difficult times. I would rather have support from others but more often than not it’s just not there.

I see an almost full moon shining through my window tonight and it makes me smile a little. I cannot despair. So much to be thankful for.

Starrlight—I send you big hugs and know that we fight the same battle together. We can be strong. We can heal the wounds few people can see. Take care💕🌻

[Starrlight in reply to Hope4me1]

Thanks big hugs backatchya yes we can be in this battle fighting in it together.

[c-mac]

I'm overseas on a very active business trip, and my nights alternate from not enough sleep to okay. Not enough is a trigger for hypomania in me, so it's got me concerned. More, I'm having trouble feeling relaxed when I'm meditate, like I'm always on. I'm getting worried, and there's no time in the schedule to just get away and decompress. And with all my colleagues around me for the first time since I started working here, the stakes are high if I start getting impulsive.

I'm worried.

[Starrlight in reply to c-mac]

I hear you. Meditation sometimes just is hard. And while on business very hard I imagine.

Well you sound good, worried, but you do sound like you are coping the best you can and making it.

I’m so sorry there seems no time to relax. I get that… Well I have time I just am so anxious I can rarely get to a good spot to meditate.

Keep writing. I believe there is much power in letting thoughts out.

Oh and practicing deep breathing helps me a lot because it’s always easy yo just do any time any where.

[Against_the_current]

This is so beautifully written. I needed it as i'm struggling a lot with my need to control home and meanwhile don't want to get triggered there nor miss out resting here and i just overthink

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

P.s. maybe keep writing here and go for a walk or listen to a fav song Anything that will lift you, beautiful

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you so much

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

Awww no problem it’s an honor. I just want you to feel better. No pressure though ;p Do you you know you

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

Check in later … to tell us how you are doing?

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Alright. I'm wondering whether i will go home and what my coundidion will be

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

I hear ya. Take some time to think it over. There is no wrong way. To me it sounds like you need a break.

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist or general doc you can check in with let them know you need some help?

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

Wait where are you if you are not home? Sorry I must have missed something.

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

I was at university city, now i'm in the train to home. I think i don't have doc help but eventually might try to call If they accept or i'm not too scared of them being annoyed. I need a break but where and how

[Starrlight]

I know the feeling of overthinking. I think meditation helps. Deep breathing helps. Let’s see what else?- what are your favorites to do? Allow yourself to do them.

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

I just can't allow myself to do something besides Overthinking 😖

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

I know it gets that way sometimes… I’m so sorry… but eventually it will pass and try to think of things you’d like to do when you feel better, something to look forward to. If that doesn’t work try to focus on the breath for 30 seconds. It may start to give you a break then you can do more good things for yourself… I know there seems no way sometimes… just know we are here for you!!!! Try to keep writing stuff out if this helps you. I’m listening

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

I need to try these asap

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

Also just a thought which is “be you” it doesn’t matter what that looks like just let yourself be you know what I mean?

[RemySue]

Right now I'm feeling bad, but I'm going to keep talking some positive self talk and take a nap. Maybe a walk after. I could have COVID and my plans with grandkids got cancelled so that's adding to my irrational overblown anxiety. I hope you all are having a good day-I'll get there

[Starrlight in reply to RemySue]

I really love your positivity. I’m so sorry you are dealing with some tough things right now. Keep writing here as long as it is helpful to you. I’m just here to listen. I’m just trying to focus on ‘being me’ you know like accepting me as me during any mood. I like how you say you’ll get there; I believe you will

[RemySue in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you

[Starrlight]

Oh my gooooooodnesssss you just made me so super happy!!! (((((((((Snowdaze)))))))))) ❤️❤️

[Starrlight]

❤️

[Starrlight]

I can’t do this anymore im finished trying so hard.

[mauv]

I think that is my problem and maybe your’s too. I k ow when I feel feel really depressed I want to control my disease and beat myself over and over when I don’t get better. I rely on me to heal myself. God is my only healer and He heals in His time. God wants me to rely on Him and love myself especially when I’m the deepest depression. Learning to give ourselves grace is the answer but the hardest thing to do. I have no patience with myself and I think I am not alone. It is so important to reach out to each other because we really understand each other’s pain.Hang in there Starlight. You don’t know how much people you have reached

[mizzou7016]

You've covered quite a few topics in this post. 1st and foremost for me.....if the good lord has blessed me with a wake up....then I will do my best to try and conquer whatever is thrown at me. As for other people understanding and being compassionate....that is a hard one for me....people are going to do/say/feel whatever they want to.....the only thing i can control is how i react to those people....be true to yourself.....be gentle to yourself....and the rest will fall into place. I would be careful saying the difficult times are in the past...those negative thoughts will always be there in some form. what has changed is how we react and respond to them. we have learned more positive ways to cope and deal with the issues at hand. and lastly, tomorrow is just that....tomorrow. we don't know what tomorrow will bring. it's all about survival....and if all you did today was survive the day......there is always tomorrow....