Needing encouragement

[NewBeginnings2018]

I am a therapist and have seen an increase of people coming in with moderate-severe anxiety, which I contribute to the pandemic. I also have suffered from anxiety for the last several years, so I know what this can feel like. I recently had a flare up of anxiety because I had to do an emergency removal of a child from their home environment. CPS is involved but their investigations take awhile. Having to do something like this has brought on anxiety and am just needing some encouragement as I am still fairly new to this profession.

[samack]

I was a therapist long ago and saw so many sad situations. When I worked with children, of course I had to work with DCFS, as dysfunctional organization as it seems. Having to be the initiator of a case is tough. Taking children out of the house is tough. It affects us as we are human. It can create an anxiety as you may feel responsible for a "terrible" thing. Or just witnessing this horror. As hard as it is, you did the right thing.

I had a case where a 7 year old came to see me. He was psychotic, something I couldn't imagine. His mother and I took him in to s children's facility. There he was admitted. The facility looked like a prison, ugly cold cemented walls, little individual rooms that looked like cells, and armed security guards everywhere. This was of course for uninsured people.

When I was driving back home, I cried and shook. The image wouldn't leave me. We all get stressed out working these cases so self care is what is called for.

[NewBeginnings2018 in reply to samack]

I really appreciate your kind words. It helps to have some validation.

[fauxartist]

If what you did saves that child's life or prevents any further neglect or mental injury, you did your job for that kid. I wish I would have had somebody to save me from my mother growing up. And maybe was placed with a family who were kind and loving and wanted me to succeed in life. That doesn't always happen either as I had been in a number of meg shift foster homes off and on...they became my mother's go to;'drop the kid off spot', when she was off on her own excursions. It always broke my heart, but what was worse was when she had two other kids 10-11 years younger than me, and brought me back to be the live in babysitter and house maid.

So... don't feel bad for helping this kid out... I'm convinced I could have had a better life away from her. I am now... I have cut her off completely for over a decade. But the damage is done.

[Hidden]

I can imagine that has to be a very tough thing to do, but someone has to step in and do these things. I think what you're doing is nothing short of heroic. You have my utmost respect. As a side note, I'm sure it's not a walk in the park to be a police officer either.

[Trish23]

I am a nurse and suffer with anxiety. We aren’t very kind to ourselves as we are the caregivers. Splitting up a family can’t be easy. I am sure you are very empathetic and feel for the child which may aggravate your anxiety. Look into your heart and if you know you did what was best for the child then you did right.

[Rafiki11]

I’m happy to meet you! I’m in my second semester of grad school for counseling.

You are working hard to bring healing to a hurting world.

What about the situation is the most troublesome to you? I’ve had to call CPS on my dad to try to protect my younger sister. I know any situation like this can be very emotional.

[NewBeginnings2018 in reply to Rafiki11]

I think what is most troublesome is the fact that this will go to court and that’s something I have never experienced. Definitely the fear of the unknown.

[Rafiki11 in reply to NewBeginnings2018]

Being involved in a court case is very nerve wracking! Do you have your own therapist that you can talk this through with?

Big hugs!

[NewBeginnings2018 in reply to Rafiki11]

Yes, I do. I am seeing her on Monday.

[Rafiki11 in reply to NewBeginnings2018]

I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself so you can continue helping others! Do you have a wellness plan?

[NewBeginnings2018 in reply to Rafiki11]

Not really. I need to. Any advice on that?

[Rafiki11 in reply to NewBeginnings2018]

I would make a small goal for each dimension of wellness that you need more of.

For me, it looks like

Physical-yoga

Emotional-meditation

Spiritual-church

Social-church small group

Intellectual-reading

Occupational-classes

Environmental-housework/yard work.

[Rafiki11 in reply to NewBeginnings2018]

This was helpful to me.

Self care wheel

[samack in reply to NewBeginnings2018]

Court sounds intimidating but you will be fine. Court decisions are for the betterment of the child. You are only speaking the truth in your advocacy of the child. That I recall, juvenile Court is where you sit around the table. You will not be in a courtroom setting. Angry parents or caretakers are normal. You can't go wrong doing the right thing.

[Moonira]

Congratulations on choosing a profession where you can make a real difference in someone's life. As you are a therapist and will be on the receiving end of others suffering I think it would be important for you to find ways to release your negative emotions. I suffer from PTSD, GAD, periodic depression and panic disorder. The panic disorder is not constant and only occasional. Coming back to you it's really important that you find outlets for mounting anxiety. Here is what works for me: daily exercise, journaling, am a member of a zoom support group in my Province of Quebec, Canada, meditation, crafting, calling a trusted friend. I take medications , finally have a wonderful psychiatrist who I trust. Don't ý like taking meds as the brain is still such uncharted territory and the trial and error, adjusting and side effects can be horrible.. In any event I wish you the best of luck in your journey, keep writing to us. The people here are kind and genuine. They care. Sending you hugs and blessings for the New Year

[Midori]

I understand the anxiety of removing a child from abusive relationships.

I am wondering if you should be getting into these intense cases at the moment, when you should really be working on your own anxieties.

After all, you cannot really help others, if you are needing help yourself.

You need to be fit to practice first.

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Amen to that!!!! Years ago at a lousy apartment complex I was in, I actually initiated a call to child protective services because even though I didn't actually see this so called father beating or hitting his children, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there was definitely abuse going on in that household. At first I tried going to the local police station. Boy, was I shocked. The police wouldn't do a damn thing. They told me I had to call CPS. Well when I made the call, I played it SMART. I KNEW the abusive father might come after me for for being the so called snitch, so I did tell the person in the other end my name, but I stressed that I am making this an ANONYMOUS complaint. That way, no one is coming up to knock on my door and that psychopath doesn't know it was me!!! I don't really know exactly what happened, but 6 months later that jerk was moving out of the building. Thank God!!!! Sometimes at night I say a prayer for those 2 young kids who lived there. It's all I can do. 💖

[NewBeginnings2018 in reply to Midori]

I have been going to a therapist for almost 20 years. Anything new is scary.

[Midori in reply to NewBeginnings2018]

I used to be scared of new experiences, but there is nothing to be scared of. Nowadays I look forward to most Things.

[Blueruth]

As always, privately messaging with strangers online is risky. Do not share personal information. If you decide to engage Leon please be careful as I know you will.

[RupertBrown]

My parents fostered over 40 kids as I was growing up. I've seen some messed up kids pulled from messed up situations. The system is far from perfect and the outcomes aren't always ideal, but most of the time it is for the best. Having seen and having lived with the aftermath of these situations, my heart and all of my respect goes out to you and the folks who do this kind of work. I can't offer anything useful beyond that, you're far more knowledgeable and fluent in these things, but you have my sympathy, my respect and my admiration. What you do can't be easy. Sending you strength and peace.