Is it just me?

[Bookmama20]

Hey everyone! I’m just curious if it is just me! I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder back in 2003! Have also been diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD, and possibly ADHD! I have what I call noise in my head all the time! It’s hard to explain, it’s almost the same kind of sound as being in a room with hundreds of conversations all going on in a low tone! Or that random thoughts just bounce around! Then I will have these moments where ideas(cooking,cleaning, things to do, etc) pop up! It’s like my mind never is just quiet! When I was first diagnosed in 03 I was put on Effexor and for the first time in a long time my mind was clear and quiet! I tried to explain it to my therapist but it is hard to put into words! Only when I have loud (rock) music on is my mind quiet! I just need to know it isn’t just me and how to explain it to my docs! Thanks!

[Dell12345]

Hi, it sounds like a symptom of ADHD, which apparently Effexor (venlaphaxine) is quite helpful for. I've had the same thing before when changing medications, but not since being on effexor.

[Hidden]

You may find if you can write down all the salient points of your complaint, in that way you will not forget any of these problem symtoms you are suffering.

It sounds that what is going through is related to your Mental Health condition

BOB

[slumbers]

Hi Bookmama

I can completely relate to your situation, and it sounds like ADHD could be a strong possibility.

I was diagnosed with primarily inattentive ADHD in March 2020, and previous to that, with depression and anxiety, with panic attacks regularly.

For me, I have a running commentary in my head that I find very difficult to ignore, like an internal monologue that is constantly ruminating on matters both past and present. I can't fall asleep without headphones now, either listening to music or something on TV, so that I can try and focus on that to drown out my own thoughts. It takes me likely an hour or so to fall asleep this way, but it's better than the alternative, which is lying in the dark with the overbearing, and exhausting lists of things I need to do, or things I have done in the past, that I then pick apart.

I've been on several different types of antidepressants at one time or another, with varying levels of success. Some, like Sertraline, were great at lifting my mood, but caused me sleep problems, and wicked anxiety. Others, such as Mirtazapine were fantastic at helping my anxiety and sleep, but didn't really help my depression long term, as they caused me severe food cravings and make me so numb that I couldn't even cry at my Dad's funeral.

I had a similar experience with Venlafaxine, which made me sleep for upto 14 hours a day, and have zero motivation to do anything else, and I became scared to leave the house on that drug. Out of all of them, Venlafaxine was the hardest to come off, I had really bad withdrawal for about 2/3 months, and I would never in a million years go back on it. However, as I'm sure you know, everyone is different in how the will react to certain meds, so maybe it will help you. It didn't help me or my cousin who was maxed out on the highest dosage, but a friend of mine had and still has great success on it, so you never know!

I'm now back on Mirtazapine low dose at night, and take Ritalin/Methlphenidate XR in the morning, and use 5mg booster methylphenidate instant release tablet in the evening. The stimulants seem to help me focus better on one task, rather than trying to do everything all at once, and then getting so overwhelmed at my inevitable failure to do all the things in an unrealistic time frame. Its early days though, and I'm not sure my dosage and drug formulation has quite hit that sweet spot, between feeling 'normal' and enduring the side effects, but it has made some difference to help quieten the competing ideas and thoughts all fighting for attention and demanding action. My only gripe so far is that it's sometimes too easy to fixate on one chore for too long, and can make multitasking difficult. But I'd take that any day over a paralysing inability to pick something.

Like someone else has said below, try and write down your symptoms/struggles when you remember them, they'll come in handy when it's time to share with your doc. Having some examples will make your life easier, esp if you're like me, and find thinking of examples to share on the spot very challenging. But you're certainly not alone in how you are feeling, and it may be a positive, in that it will lead you to the correct diagnosis, once you can see how the problems you've faced have shaped your experience with life in general.

Wish you tbe best of luck getting to the bottom of it all x