I was supposed to go and eat frozen yogurt with some friends. But first I stopped at a store near my to grab some things. As I left my car my head started to hurt. While walking through the store I could feel myself become more tired, if that makes any sense. As I stopped in an aisle to look at windshield wiper fluid I got very vey lightheaded and scared. I grabbed my stuff and took off for be checkout. As I walked it went away some, but also lingered. I checked out and ran for the exit. I was greeted with cold air and a sense of relief. I wasn’t completely out of the woods. I sat in my car and told myself I could make it to my friends house. I drove all the way to her house got inside and drank some water. I cancelled the plans and sat there as I began to feel numb. I cried and explained that I was scared and didn’t know what to do. She told me that it would pass, this wasn’t going to last. I am now laying on her couch still trying to make myself stay calm. This is the first time I’ve had a panic attack that’s come in weird waves and lasted like this.
I am tired.
I am scared.
I am lost.
I am alone.
I am here with someone and feel so alone.
I went three weeks, almost a month without these feelings. They weren’t completely gone but I felt more like my normal self if that makes sense. Then this. I have fallen back. I am here. And I don’t know what to do. I just need some reassurance. I need to know this is normal and ok. I need help. I didn’t want to ask for help. And still don’t. But I am. I need help.