Mental health is not always a simple choice

[Lve2dance]

My mom is awesome, but she doesn't understand. She has her own issues but not self aware enough or thinks just take walk it off approach. When I am struggling her response is to grow up.. Get rod out of my butt, I'm just doing it to ruin her life. don't like complaining to my friends I'm always there for them as they are for me. But they have their own problems I wish I could talk to a professional. When I asked for help my mom says okay, I'll put you away, or I give you pills and you can get fat . So I feel less than and my anxiety really gets bad

[Lve2dance]

Sweet 💋.. I always had Kareoke and live music, going out dancing, being with certain friends.. Things I appreciated but did not realize how important it was. I fell apart after a while when that was not available. I know a lot of people had a hard time in different ways.

[Hidden in reply to Lve2dance]

I totally understand. I also played football every day w/ my friends until the lockdown started last year. It was a very difficult time for me. football is like my fuel and I was completely deprived of it for almost 6 months. it was heartbreaking but I realised I need to find something else to keep me busy. I started learning Spanish and used to ride my bicycle in the evening. Maybe you should find an alternative to keep you busy, what about learning piano? I also tried learning piano on bandlab.

[Lve2dance in reply to Hidden]

I'm busy with work.. I tried to learn piano years ago. Not relaxing lol. I definitely keep busy 😁

[Shnookie]

Hi this is Shnookie. Welcome to our welcoming group. We R here 4 U. I agree with Agora. U need to turn to other people. There is a hotline named NAMI. Dealing with mental health issues. Plug in on Google and type in the city U live in. There R peer mentors U can talk to. I am here 4 UU can also personally message me.

Hugs 🤗 S ❤️💪😎🌈🔮

[Lve2dance in reply to Shnookie]

So sweet thank you 💋. It's hard my favorite Kareoke spots closed. I met awesome people who are like a second family I'm super close to.

[Shnookie in reply to Lve2dance]

It’s understandable that it is hard for U especially when they closed. Have U gone on U Tube or Google to see if there R Karaoke 🎤 or dancing 💃🏼 groups that might be able to connect with virtually who might live in your area. Seeing sand hearing a group of people singing Karaoke with U might make U feel better. Also is there a place in your house where U

[Lve2dance in reply to Shnookie]

Yea.. Good idea.. Plus place a bunch of us used to go to in the area. Especially with a good friend of mine. It was over a year I even saw him and not until he was vaccinated that I hang out with him other than at a distance. Even just seeing him help me more than I realized until we only talk on the phone

[Shnookie in reply to Lve2dance]

Happy 😃 U like the idea. And with your good friend I guess try to speak to him on the phone and maybe see him Like at a Starbucks. Some of the Starbucks have seating with space between. U can always contact me personally. Hugs 🤗 Shnookie

[Lve2dance in reply to Shnookie]

He is clear,. As are people I have met to date 😁.. Only one person so far debated the issue of getting a vaccine, so he will not score a dinner date lol. I am healthy, but I have crohn's and my folks I'm helping out are in their 70s. They are vaccinated, but I am careful around them out of respect. I do retail and I am as safe as I can be...

[Shnookie in reply to Lve2dance]

U R a good daughter and deserve happiness in your life. Your wise in making choices about keeping your distance from people who R not vaccinated. Enjoy the rest of your evening hugs 🤗 S

[Lve2dance in reply to Shnookie]

Sweet 😘.. Have a great evening. Thanks for being so awesome

[Shnookie in reply to Lve2dance]

U R so sweet. And U R awesome as well. Not everyone takes care of their parents.

[Lve2dance in reply to Shnookie]

My mom is extra a lot, but she has sacrificed.. When I was first diagnosed with crohn's she stayed in the hospital for over 5 weeks on a reclining chair. She saved me when the dad I grew up with attacked me.. My step dad is awesome to me and her.. He has been my dad since I was 13.

[Shnookie in reply to Lve2dance]

Your mother definitely has gone above and beyond. She stood in that chair in the hospital to give U love and comfort and to make sure that the nurses were always there 4 U. I grew up with this kind of love. When My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer, I became her sole caregiver. She was hospitalized 3 times. Each time, I went to the hospital with her and stood with her there until she was discharged. My mom was my best friend and couldn’t have imagined doing anything else. Your mom was like a mama bear. Protecting U from your birth father and as opposed to many women who stay with their abusive spouses, she extricated him from your lives and luckily brought a loving presence into your lives. Maybe she’ll come around to understand what is going on in your life now. But please remember U have us and supportive friends in your life.

[live-2021 in reply to Lve2dance]

I didn't realize about your mom when I wrotemy previous reply. I'm glad she's been there. Maybe get some info on what's going on with you and share with her. That might help. PS. My mom was awesome also❤

[Shnookie]

Sorry about that it’s Shnookie Again. If U can find a place by yourself and even play music off your phone by funk groups like the gap band, earth wind and fire’s boogie wonderland or other other upbeat music and just move your body and dance and sing to it it might make U feel better

[Lve2dance in reply to Shnookie]

Music and dance are my life I took dance since I was a kid. My parents had the worst divorce dance got me through it. And since then the Arts have been there for me in the best and worst times. I could dance out anyting and of course my awesome friends

[Nina2016]

My family is like that too. “Think pink” or “toughen up” is the line I get. I think that if we are taught self compassion rather than self judging we would be more resilient. Maybe I was just born this way. I am the scapegoat of the family. I took on their pain within and without knowing it. I’m still trying to comfort myself from that experience. I think it’s okay to feel - bad sad mad good or whatever I know that at least I hear you. Because we all need to be heard. 😍

[Lve2dance in reply to Nina2016]

Thanks Nina 💋.. I had anxiety in learning new Spanish words in grade school or new things,, but my mom always helps me and said you are smart and then I always got As... I had friends and my life was awesome.. Later in life I had my dancing as an outlet.. Dance it out, music, singing.. had a really cool place here call the Walk restaurant shop , Starbucks my friends and I would go or a guy I liked. In the pandemic everything changed things closed. My best friend passed away and he was awesome. My friend I couldn't see because he is not vaccinated when it came out so over a year I didn't see him. I didn't realize how much seeing him help me and tell it we didn't hang out. So many little things added up and boiled over

[Agora1]

Hi Lve2dance, I deleted my first response to you after hearing how your mother stayed by your side when you were in the hospital. I felt it unjust to put her down for belittling

you with regards to mental health issues. She is not the first one who doesn't understand

or will be the last. My own mother did not have a clue what I was going through. She felt

it was an excuse not to attend family events.

Your mother more than showed her love to you. Having a physical issue, as heartbreaking

as it could be, is something most can understand.

My apology xx

[live-2021]

I'm really sorry this is happening. Before I turned 18, mom wouldn't let me see anyone and no meds were allowed. After I turned 18 I went to Dr and started counseling. My mom never approved. She needed help as much as me. Fast-forward YEARS and she finally was put on meds. She noticed a change in herself. She never admitted she was wrong when I was younger though. Sorry, my point is, until your mom sees herself or gets on meds, you might be fighting a losing battle. Do you have anyone she would listen to to help? Maybe you could go to the Dr with another "problem" lol, have her go and listen to the Dr. Maybe she might learn something about herself too Idk how old you are, but good luck. I'd hate for you to wait until your 18.

[Lve2dance in reply to live-2021]

She was mad when I told the Dr I was having issues since the pandemic especially.. Said why say anything.. It was my regular check up.. It was a new Dr. The last 2 Dr's at Cleveland clinic are no longer there. She says she just gets over it when she feels such a way.. That worked for me in the past but recently not so much. I don't expect her to understand, but criticism makes me feel sad. I am lucky 🍀 I found this site. If I went through insurance she would know. Threatened to put me away or put me or heavily drug me.. All I need is some one to talk to.

[live-2021 in reply to Lve2dance]

Talk away, any time

[Lve2dance in reply to live-2021]

💋 😘 My favorite comment of hers is get the rod out of your butt.. Or are you trying to punish me and ruin my life.. She has kind of ocd. I have mainly great days. When I am stressed it's hard on those days. I already give myself a hard time. She says proud of me of who I am, my job etc.. But eventually she tears me down. Then lifts me up. I never know her mood when I walk in the room. It changes all the time. She also overreacts, a lot in situations, but I don't make her feel bad.

[Lve2dance in reply to live-2021]

Plus she brings up the past, and how I messed up in college with dating, I should be married, have kids or even grandchildren.. Um I have health problems, crohn's.. I was on medication for it a lot over time. Even my doctor advised against it.. Plus my ovaries were messed up (I found out a few years ago).. So that is cold. Or that I'm the only one in the family never engaged (I almost was twice) or married with rich successful people etc

[live-2021]

I'm so sorry about that. She honestly sounds like my mom used to. I know how confusing it all can be. Obviously she loves you and tells you she's actually huge. I am sorry she doesn't show support for your medical problems, I know from experience how that will make you feel. Maybe on one of her good days you could tell how you feel. Maybe even write her a letter and mail it. It's worth a try. At least you know she'll at least read how you're struggling. Sometimes talking doesn't help. Please know you can talk to me anytime 😊

[Lve2dance in reply to live-2021]

💋

[Lve2dance]

Thanks 😀