Struggling

[Jstbcuz]

Hi guys. I am struggling with anxiety and depression. As I sit here I am crying. I think it's just a bunch of stressors. My sons death date is Nov 4th. He was 6 when he passed away from cancer. My mom and dad are getting older and more frail. My sister and I do as much as we can for them. My sister is handling it much better than I am. She is a psychiatric nurse practioner. I feel alone. I walk 6 miles a day and have lost 35lbs and went to the Dr for a check up and my blood work was great. I'm am so afraid of loosing my parents. My mom and dad had covid last November. My dad now has breathing problems and my mom had a heart attack in July. My youngest daughter refuses to get the covid vaccine. She is 28. My other 2 faughtets have gotten it. I think the stressors are causing my anxiety/depression. This time of year is hard. I think back on the days leading up to my son's death and it is heart breaking. I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement. I don't really have any close friends, a couple but they live far away. My husband works all the time. I work with a lovely elderly woman 3x per week. I'm trying to find ways to keep busy but that don't always work. Thank you for letting me ramble on. I'm going to do some meditation now and hopefully that will help. God. Bless.

[autumnmarie5]

Oh my, I am so sorry to hear that! I know I am fairly young (23 years) but I hope I can just maybe bring a little encouragement to you. First off, I want to say even though you deal with anxiety and depression you seem to be living a health lifestyle. I just wish I could get myself to walk at least 6 miles a day. I feel like that would better improve my life dealing with anxiety. I will be praying for you and your life. I will be praying that God gives you peace as well as His hand on your parents health and your daughters to get the vaccine. I can't relate to losing a child but I did lose one of my younger brothers and always had to see the grief that it caused my parents. No one understands what it feels like to lose a child until it happens to you personally. Like I said, I will be praying for you. Are you on any depression/anxiety medication? Do you have a therapist that might help? Just some things coming to my head that might help you somewhat. I know I really enjoy listening to podcasts.

[Jstbcuz in reply to autumnmarie5]

Thank you for responding. Yes I take Effexor daily, and Klonopin as needed. I have a therapy appt coming up Nov 11th. My long time therapist retired and I just loved him. He always new how to challenge me and exactly what to say. I like my therapist now but he cuts our sessions short and don't challenge me. So when I see him I am going to let him know how I feel and possibly see someone new. Thank you so much for reaching out I really appreciate it. You are definately a mature 23 year old. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

[autumnmarie5 in reply to Jstbcuz]

No problem! I am sorry to hear about your new therapist, hopefully he can spend more time with you and show you that you are more of a priority to him. Thank you for the kind words, I am always here if you need someone to listen to you. I am going to take a 6 mile walk on Friday (my day off) in honor of you. Hopefully I can start to make that more of a priority in my life too!!!

[2L84x]

Your life is very hard right now. I can't even begin to understand the grief from losing a child. Like Marie, I lost a younger brother and saw the pain it caused my parents. What an amazing person you are, still working so hard and caring for people around you! You must be such a strong woman, but I know hearing that might not help when you are feeling so low.

One thing that can help me when things are difficult is to listen to music. I like classical music (I can't deal with lyrics, they distract me) if it is gentle and peaceful. The music might make me even more sad sometimes but it still feels good somehow. I hope this can help you too.

I will take a 6 mile walk tomorrow, inspired by you!

I hope you can have peace in your heart tonight.

[Jstbcuz in reply to 2L84x]

Thank you so much!! I appreciate you responding. Thank you so much.

[Not_Free]

Words will fail me, but know that I am praying for you, Jstbcuz.

[Agora1]

Jstbcuz, my heart goes out to you in the loss of your son. I can't even imagine losing achild so young. I think what is happening to you now is an accumulation of stress in seeing

your aging parents become more frail and in need of assistance. I think we all wish that

things can stay the same and that we will always be someone's child. I remember when my

parents died, I felt the realization that life doesn't go on forever. I remember the day so

clearly when I literally felt myself go to the "head of the line" being the older sibling.

Unfortunately this is life. I will agree that Covid has made it more difficult for everyone

always having it in our thoughts. Also, this time of the year makes it difficult for those who

have lost loved ones before the holidays. Because of all the changes that happen as we get

older, we must learn to take care of our mental health as well as our physical health.

It's about finding some peace of mind each and every day in order to regenerate and keep our immune system strong. It's also okay to cry and release those emotions. Get proper

sleep, eat well and as you do, exercise. I see that you meditate. I have been doing that

for years now. 3x a day, I allow some quiet time by Meditation and Breathing.

The Mind/Body Connection is a powerful source of healing and keeping us going.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Know that you are not alone,

Reach out to us anytime you need a friend. xx

[Ramon123]

Hello - I came here to say I understand your fear and anxiety. I have it too -- I'm also very worried about my parent's health and how I will cope without them. I have a lot of other stressors like work that keep me up at night and in a constant feeling of fight or flight. If you ever want to chat, please feel free to PM me. I hope you're feeling better soon. Thinking of you.

[cbgrace1980]

This time of year is especially hard when facing loss and hard times. I agree with you 100%. You are doing all the great things to take care of yourself, and I'm sorry that you are feeling depressed. You are not alone. I feel similar to you. Thank you for coming and sharing your struggles with us. You are not alone!

[CarlJames]

I'm sorry to hear about your son. The time around the anniversary date may always stir up some sadness and memories for you that is normal. And of course that makes you more sensitive about the other things in your life that cause anxiety, so they seem worse at this time too.

Many of the things you mention are outside of your control. though of course that doesn't prevent you from worrying about them. i found it helped to try and separate the issue from my anxiety. In other words, you can't change the circumstance, but you can look at how you are reacting to it. One of the biggest changes I made for myself was to accept how I felt. When I accepted my anxiety, and stopped beating myself up for it, that made a big difference.

Hope that helps.

[Jstbcuz in reply to CarlJames]

Thank you so much. This makes sense. Thank you for responding!!

[JkBauer]

Good afternoon,Let me pray for you;

Dear heavenly Father,

I pray for JstBcuz, that she will find comfort and peace through you. She is struggling through a lot of storms right now. She needs your guidance, love, peace, and wisdom. Bring family and friends to comfort and encourage her. Bring her out of the darkness and into your light

In the Power of Jesus' Name, Amen- God Bless you!