So depressed I can't leave the house - Anxiety and Depre...

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So depressed I can't leave the house

Mrspjsmom profile image
18 Replies

November through January 1st is always the worst time of year for me. The weather gets to me. Even though she passed away in 1986 it's hard when Mom's birthday comes. It was two days after mine and we celebrated together on the day in between. The anniversary of my Grandfather's death is December 1st. Growing up he was my protector and my saviour. He was more of a parent to me then my Mom and Dad were. Throw the holidays into the mix which I will spend alone or with my toxic in-laws. I know I am rambling on but this morning I absolutely could not leave the house to run errands. At that point I realized I am slipping into a major depression. I blamed a lot of my depressive symptoms on the terrible cold I have had for two weeks. But today the cold is finally gone so it hit me hard when I realized severe depression was back. Called my therapist and she can see me Wednesday morning. Have to hang on until then. Right now I am frustrated and angry with myself. Tired of battling depression and anxiety but I guess I'll have to for the rest of my life.

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Mrspjsmom
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18 Replies
Yumaris profile image
Yumaris

This time of year is the worse for me as well... fet frustrated when people say cheer up its the holiday season... but I have the opposite effect. Depression hits 1000x time harder... hang in there... you are not alone... unfortunately this is something we have to live with... even though it’s frustrating... im here if u wanna talk im a good listener.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to Yumaris

Thank you. Managed to get a few things done around the house. Getting ready to curl up with my kitty and watch TV. Feeling exhausted.

Yumaris profile image
Yumaris in reply to Mrspjsmom

Get some rest.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to Yumaris

Was able to doze off and take a short nap.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1

hi this time of year can be a battle for many of us more so when we lose someone close to Christmas.i know its hard to shut down certain aspects of the season but keeping active helps I put up decorations quite late my mrs does most of the shopping so I don't get caught up in the world of Christmas and all that goes with it.dont get me wrong I love winter but I can get a bit down.first Christmas after my mum died I was out shopping and just broke down in front of loads of shoppers so that kinda triggers me.hang on till Wednesday for your appointment and make sure you ask for good advice to help you through and you have us as well.

Gjkas profile image
Gjkas in reply to kenster1

Hi Kenster , i used to Love Christmas and New Year as well as Boxing Day, because that was my Mum's Birthday. I used to have all the Family and Friends over to our house for my Mums Birthday on Boxing Day.

But not now. I'm glad when its all over.

My Dad passed away on December 10th. Then. my Mum passed away,

DECEMBER 31 on New Year's Eve .

My Brother passed away on January 21st, but not in the same year.I am not even bothering to put the Christmas Tree up this year ,Im in a lot of pain and all i wanna do is cry,cry,cry,.

I miss them all so very much.

Goodnight Godbless Everyone x Gjkas

kenster1 profile image
kenster1 in reply to Gjkas

gosh that's a few hard losses to have so close to Christmas really sorry to hear that.none of my losses happened near Christmas march april and October but I still hurts that I cant share it with them.my two young kids somehow get me through it.god bless you as well and take care.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to Gjkas

So sorry you suffered so many losses so close to Christmas. I'll be thinking of you and hope at least one thing will make your holiday better.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to kenster1

Thank you. I usually put up the decorations and we don't do much shopping. I will celebrate but depending on how I'm doing scale things back a bit. Right now I am just concentrating on getting to Wednesday. Then take things one day at a time.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

I’m using a winter lamp which I forget what it’s actually called but it helps give what the sun gives, serotonin and such. And I’m taking vitamin D now. I can get really depressed this time off year too and I’m so sorry you are feeling it come on for you. Do you recall what has helped during past winters?

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight

At this moment nothing is really helping. Just concentrating on getting to Wednesday and my appointment. Will take it one day at a time from there.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom

Smart. Best to you!

NeuronerdDoaty profile image
NeuronerdDoaty

I bought a new lamp. It’s getting darker and colder here. It’s been a week and I think starting to help. I am getting housebound unless necessary and even then I try to avoid. I’ll let you know if my new blue lights start helping again. Anti-depressant meds don’t help me.

Remember that you’re a remarkable person. May I suggest picking a day that nothing occurred on and celebrating family and friends. Make a new yearly tradition to look forward to yearly. It helped me.

Always praying for you

Doaty💛

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to NeuronerdDoaty

Thank you. My children and I are trying to work out a day we can do brunch at my house. We have it narrowed down to either the day after Christmas or New Year's Day.

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

A terrible cold that lasts two weeks depletes us of nervous energy so it's not surprising you're feeling depressed. Your body and nervous system will recover naturally as time goes by. Your cold may be over but your batteries still take a while to replenish.

You lose the will to want to do anything, I think we all know the feeling. Just get as much sleep and rest as you can to expedite your recovery, drink plenty of liquids and maybe take a gram of vitamin C with food once a day.

I think you are still grieving for your mother and grandad. Accept that they have gone, accept the good memories that they have left you. Life now lies ahead, concentrate firmly on that view.

Grief that lingers too long can cause anxiety and there is no anxiety without depression, no depression without anxiety.

Start doing things that make you happy. And before long you will become happy.

Accept that you are suffering from depletion, accept it will pass in time, accept that your mother and grandad have left this earthly realm.

I believe that before long your spirits will lift and your outlook will improve. Accept this too.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to Jeff1943

Thank you for all the good advice. I am still trying to drink plenty of fluids and get as much rest as I can. Also taking Vitamin C. In addition to the cold I have been under a great deal of stress since July. I know Mom and Pop are gone and have accepted that. Mom's birthday and the anniversary of Pop's death stir up some very traumatic memories. Right now I am just trying to get to Wednesday. After that one day at a time.

Pearl67 profile image
Pearl67 in reply to Jeff1943

Agree with your post! Illness does trigger anxiety and depression in we who are susceptible! I always get so down on myself when I am sick because I think I am depressed, but then realize the virus has got my system all messed up!

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom

Thank you I appreciate that.

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