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Moved out of my bfs apt, feeling lonely and anxious

Resilience98 profile image
5 Replies

Hey everyone, a few weeks ago I came on here to tell you that I was moving out and I had a mixed of emotions.

I finally did, I have my own place and everything that comes with living alone. I’m happy and proud of myself for being here.

I’m currently struggling with letting my bf go, I feel like things haven’t been okay for so long and I need peace of mind. Everytime I make the decision of not seeing him, something comes up. Idk what else life/the universe/god want me to learn from this.

I feel resentment towards him, it’s such a toxic relationship that I feel like I crave when he doesn’t call me or text me. It’s been less than a month, we lived 2 years together and this whole situation is not even letting me sleep properly.

Im so sad, anxious and at night depressed because I see he’s having the time of his life alone while I’m here waiting for a text or call.

I appreciate any Advice or support, thank you everyone 💜

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Resilience98 profile image
Resilience98
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5 Replies

Thats good it will be awhile till you move I'm always here to talk

lisa40509 profile image
lisa40509

Don’t look and see what he’s doing, you’re torturing yourself. When you think of checking on him (I’m assuming on social media) then find something constructive to do instead. Replace the habit of him with something positive. Proud of you for taking the leap at moving, you’ve got this. Now learn how to care for only yourself so that you can recognize people worthy of your time and attention in future relationships. Warm wishes, Lisa

Nanii profile image
Nanii

It's an immense big step you took! Getting out and go living on you own. Must have been very hard to decide and then do it. But you did it!

It would be perfect for you if you could just feel freed and enjoy thoroughly, but reality isn't like that often sadly. It will be a difficult phase and logically also. Now you need to learn to be on your own agsin. Like somebody said, get rid of the habit of being used to being with/around him and create new habits which fit you more. Which fit you perfectly. It takes time. It's okey to feel sad about it. Those kind of emotions need to be processed too.

What are things you would like to do? Are there things you have though of like "ahh it would be nice if I could..." in these past years, but didn't do or try it? Now is the time, YOUR time to try those kind of things. Learn an instrument, try some kind of sport, try to draw, paint, make mosaics, do pottery, go skating (I don't care how old you are and neither should you), write a book (just for yourself, because why not), make your own lamp, handpaint a wall, go indoor wallclimbing, go dance, listen to that music he got annoyed about really loud, do a home-spa day, cut your hair, dye your hair, take a tattoo, take a piercing, try out knitting, knit your own shirt, knit shirts for your bears you still have from kindergarten (making stuff up here, but maybe you do!), go walk every day through a park, search a forest, eat at that restorant which has been staring at you, learn some weird foreign dish, start yoga, go on youtube see someone doing something you think like wow that's awesome and go do that yourself, even when you're supercrap, just because it's fun and funny, do something stupid and laugh at yourself!

Nanii profile image
Nanii in reply to Nanii

How do you see btw he's having the time of his life? Social media? Maybe he is and it's time for you to follow your own time of your life. But remember, social media is made of what people choose to show. Mostly it's not photo's of them crying crawling up in bed, short movies of throwing that lamp against the wall, bingeeating unhealthy stuff crying, selfies of sad faces etc.. Yes..,these kind of things are shared.. of OTHER people.. Most.. simply don't share their own like that. Just remember that underneath a smile, even in real life, face 2 face, tremendous pain can be hidden. But if he shows his happy side, why then wouldn't you chase after your own? Of course, let your sadness be there, give it space, reflect, process, give it time. When your ready: it's your turn!

Midori profile image
Midori

Hi There,

Don't know if you want revenge, but the best way is to become successful, and show him you really don't care about him any more (even if it isn't true!).

Find another partner as soon as you feel able, and then the two of you get out and show yourselves around town. The word will get around that you aren't hiding away!

Cheers, Midori

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