Feeling anxious today

[Matt_S]

Hi I’m new here with anxiety, depression and anger my wife has the same with ADHD she thought we should separate to work on our own issues and said we will stay out of contact with each other, she won’t answer the phone or texts and I know she said not to call but this is killing me everyday, she said we have to work on ourselves in order to come back together, I didn’t know too much about ADHD but now I do and I feel awful in the way I thought she was lazy this was not the case, is she right in not calling her? I’m hurting and being co-depends which she says I’m controlling and doesn’t like it. Does anyone have any input? Thank you. Matt in Mass

[Matt_S]

I’m ok thank you very much for checking in with me it means a lot

[Matt_S]

I’m on anxiety depression meds since 2014 I have depression and generalized anxiety disorder and yes you are right and thank you for reminding me that it goes away, you should go and get your meds from the pharmacy today it is important for you and you will feel much better after you get them

[Matt_S]

She is on ADHD, anxiety, and depression meds along with skin and arthritis meds

[Matt_S]

Oh I got it now maybe it won’t be that bad

[Hidden]

Hi Matt. Good luck with what is happening. I know if you were me, I would say to try to relax and not dwell on what happened but rather try to think of how to help the situation. What do you need right now? for example, and What might help her feel better? How can I communicate better? Do I need to do anything about this really? and so on. That is what advice I would give myself in that situation. Best of luck. Also distraction is great. Maybe go for a walk or do something else until you find the answer. Thanks.

[Matt_S in reply to Hidden]

Just reading that made me feel better and I know I have to change and stop my co dependency she said she feels controlled all the time by me and that’s my reaction to her ADHD always jumping in front of her to do things for her she kept telling me to stop. I became burnt out working 40 hrs a week as a builder then coming home at 4 to work again till 10 pm or later every day I thought this is what she wanted, I wanted her to be happy but I was making matters worse between us in being co dependent, and to help her and make her happy now I’m educating myself and through a therapist about co dependency, CBT, and my wife’s ADHD. I feel a lot of guilt in hurting her in this way, and I do need to change my approach, and you are right about the communication part of it, thank you very much for the kind words, and the insight I need to open my eyes to.

[Hidden in reply to Matt_S]

You are welcome

[Matt_S]

Not to bad now cold out here though good for you cooking something that’s the way to do it

[Matt_S]

Don’t be afraid it will pass, and I look at it this way we need to feel these emotions we are human, being afraid all the time isn’t good either, what your doing is scanning, it’s what we do best we scan for something then take it flip it, turn it over and make a horror story out of a thought that really we have no control over or won’t happen at all, and most times it won’t even happen so try to remember that.

[Jolly_Treacle]

That is so sad

How are you doing now man?