Lonely, anxious, depressed. - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Lonely, anxious, depressed.

Traveller85
Traveller85

Hi guys,

Today I feel the loneliness is too much. I’ve been estranged from my very limited family for a month and a half. I’m socially isolated. I’ve been battling social anxiety/social difficulties for 16 years, and I still haven’t gained much, though it’s a lot better than before. I’m tired of fighting, I wish it were easier, and I wish I could get what I need or know where to find it or how to find it. This all leads to depression, much better since I take medication, but there are still ups and downs. Anyway, just writing this helps, before this site I would just hold everything in, which makes it feel much bigger. Thanks for listening.

16 Replies
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Hello friend! I am sorry to hear that you feel lonely today. Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. We’re all here for you, and I’m always just a message away. 🙂

Traveller85
Traveller85 in reply to Krn210

Thank you that means a lot. 😄

I’m so sorry today has been so difficult for you in dealing with the loneliness. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I think you did good by venting though. You are exactly right when you say holding it in makes it feel much bigger.

I struggle with not really being able to talk about my depression and anxiety except once every couple of weeks to a counselor.

My boyfriend doesn’t want to hear it anymore because he has his own issues and my sister doesn’t get it because she thinks I just need to be tougher. (As if this is by choice)

My mom has never been helpful in that department and my brother and I aren’t any closer than the occasional happy birthday text or whatever.

I’m terrible at making friends because I’m so shy and awkward- I get nervous around people.

Hang in there though. You can vent to me anytime. I don’t open the app every day but I will reply.

This is a good place I’ve learned- I don’t feel judged here and everyone has been very supportive. You’re among friends here. ❤️

Traveller85
Traveller85 in reply to Ripley7

Thank you for the support and for sharing. It’s very much appreciated. Yes, many people can only listen so much, that’s why therapists are important. I’m in between therapists right now. I agree, this site is a blessing, and I never feel judged. It also helps to hear others’ stories and support others.😄

Hi Amit,

Welcome to this site. I'm sorry that you are feeling lonely, anxious and depressed. There are good people on this site and I am sure you will benefit from being here. As you say, writing about how you feel helps. I suffer with depression and anxiety and I have found a real friend in writing to myself on my computer. Over the last four years or so I have accumulated a few hundred entries. Some are longer than others. I find that the harder it is for me to write something the more important it is for it to be written. It is a bit of a paradox but I think that if one can find the strength to stay with it and get it out onto paper or onto the screen, I will feel a lot better and have even gained insight or clarity as a result.

It is interesting that on the one hand you write "I still haven’t gained much" and then you say "though it’s a lot better than before". I think this is the way with anxiety and depression, it has the ability to stop us seeing the truth. But it can't stop the truth from emerging altogether. Life is a struggle for everyone. The only beings that don't struggle are no longer with us. Your struggle has clearly been valuable and met with success as you acknowledge "its a lot better than before". Anxiety tries to diminish your thoughts of your wonderful accomplishments. Tell yourself how well you are doing. Tell yourself that you have made real progress. Congratulate yourself for having the courage to come onto this site and share your feelings with us. You deserve it.

Wishing you a really good day.

Thank you for the support. I guess I meant it’s a lot better compared to what it was, but I’m still not where I want to be after so many years. I still don’t have the things in my life that I want.

Hi Amit,

I hope you are doing well.

I am sorry that you are still struggling to be where you want to be after all these years. I can relate to that.

I read what you wrote to thedoulamum about therapy. I’ve been seeing someone for 4 years at least once a week. The process is slow and ongoing. Therapy can be quite hard work. I think with even a small amount of effort on our part we do move forward but sometimes our anxieties don’t allow us to notice and acknowledge our achievements.

I have found that reading a self help book alongside the therapy can be very beneficial. It doesn’t mean that you have to be completely absorbed in the book but that you pick it up here and there, maybe reading on the toilet if thats your thing 😆 You will hoped find things that speak to you. So, in a way you are engaged in therapy all the time. When you meet up with the therapist it can be an opportunity to clarify or deepen your relationship with what you have read.

Underlining the parts that interest you in the book can make it easier to then browse through and review those parts that resonated with you.

It is my wish for you to experience peace and strength in your life.

All the best

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Hi Amit, this is Betty. Doing okay today thanks. Nasty rain and wind storm right now but will be over tomorrow. Staying in, under my blanket right now. Cat on my lap, love that!

Loneliness can be a terrible feeling, try to do something for yourself. Stay busy if possible to forget about it for awhile. Hugs and good thoughts for you (((Hugs)))

Traveller85
Traveller85 in reply to Hidden

Hi Betty! Thanks. Yes cats are the best, pets definitely help a lot. Hope you’re well.

I'm sorry today is not a good day for you. Battling depression is something that not a whole lot of people understand, even if they have it themselves because everyone is different. I'm glad you found this forum to reach out. Have you seen a counselor or therapist for this? I know you said you've been on meds, but I highly suggest trying therapy as well. I've never been on meds, but having a professional to talk to in person helped me tremendously. If you need help finding one in your area, you can call 855-382-5433 and they'll give you a free consult and referral to a local LCP. Here's a list of resources I also found helpful when I was going through it deep last year. list.ly/list/1CE4-looking-u...

My husband is military and it was our first deployment. We were also in the process of adopting our youngest and I had a lot of "smaller" things going on with my family that just kept adding on to the depression.

Keep reaching out!

Thank you! I have tried therapy, I was. It frustrated with it, maybe I need s new therapist. I think I want more social connections but the social anxiety is in my way. So that’s the problem. That’s why I’m lonely. Thanks for the support.

Hi AmitCA85,

Many of us here completely understand how you feel. There’s a couple of things I noticed in your post that are quite good for you to start to find your way out of the mishmash maze you’re going through. Such as: you wanting to get to know & find what you need, and it seems you’re looking to “gain” something which both indicates you still have hope that they’re out there, even if right now it seems more difficult for you to find than you thought. And, they are out there. It’s a matter of taking the right steps to embark on the right journey

Oftentimes when you feel you can’t be around those you love or once used to be around frequently, it’s an indication of a journey of self-discovery. And, if you’re absolutely sure that you do know yourself, it could indicate a purposeful calling on your life wherein you can make a Positive Impact on many around you, because we have to be different in order to make a difference. And, what does being “different” often do for us? Make us not “fit in”! An example of what I mean by that is that when we don’t “fit in”; when we can’t quite get people to “get” us, we often feel like misfits & then become afraid of being around others or are ostracized out of social groups & we take all the blame on us that there must be “something wrong with us” making us feel afraid to be around others, when that is not always the truth. When Truth is... at times certain groups of people are simply wrong, even literally toxic, for us, & that can include family members as well at times. And the consistent presence, & side affects, from being around the wrong people can hinder us from becoming all we’re created to be, if we don’t know how to stand strong against the downward pull of doing so.

For self reflection, which means you don’t have to answer here, or if you feel you want to answer & explore anything that comes up as you think this through, I welcome you to PM me if you don’t want to express publicly.

~~ Besides medication, therapy, & just forcing yourself to go out socially, what have you done so far to get to really realize & appreciate who you are?

~~ In that process, what do you want to change or feel you shouldn’t have to change to be confident around others?

You see, once you understand appreciate & love who you are without pretense, it’s easier to live life in ways that puts you in the presence of the right people for you, as well as gives you strength & unshakable confidence when you’re inevitably around people who hate, don’t like, or are simply just wrong for, you. (i.e. people at work or school) which are places you cannot control who’s around you.

My Hope for you is that you don’t give up. I understand you’ve tried a few things & have a little battle fatigue. But, perhaps those things just aren’t the right road for you & it’s time to either try something new, or if it is a good road for you, keep going a little farther to see more of a hopeful view. Because no one should ever give up on seeking to do well & be well in the right ways.

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Hi!!!

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I feel like that too!

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You are not alone. There are others out here.

❤️

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