No Support

[RedBird09]

I haven't posted in a couple of years. Everything is still the same. I feel like I made some progress only to isolate myself again. I don't want to leave my house. I have so many emotions going on I just want to hide behind closed doors. I live alone and really gets Lonely. I have secluded myself from the World. I just want to be Normal again. My father just told me the other day he wished how I would have turned out if I was Normal 🙄😢 Really! That's my Fam. Love to beat me down. I feel so alone.

[RupertBrown]

That is a sh!tty thing to have said to you, and I'm sorry. I don't know much about breaking out of isolation, but I know that's not what you need.

[kenster1]

hi welcome back hopefully being back helps you in some way.

[MusicalKitty]

There is not really any such thing as 'normal' we are all different. It is better to take it one step at a time. We are here if you need us xxx

[samack]

Sounds like trauma response. I'm amazed how much I know about myself and yet so little. Have you tried trauma therapy? I've been a few months now, and understanding my need to isolate and be in freeze. Maybe it will propel me forward. It feels shifty confronting all this now, but I bet at an earlier stage you will do much better. Keep trying. There's eventually a way out.

[Roxylox]

Apalling! Can sympathise as I know my father thought of me as odd. He didn't say it directly to me but I did overhear him say it to others.I think just one of my siblings out of three doesn't find me very odd .

Tell you something, those of us not considered 'normal' can often be the kindest people.

Normal is a very stupid term anyway, as no two people are the very same .

If you are feeling lonely then I don't think it's a good idea to seclude yourself from the world. I felt like that when I joined this group around 15 months ago. I gradually built up confidence.

I joined a couple of peer support groups on Zoom. I feel the better for making the effort. I do nt know where you live of course, or what is available to you.

[autumnmarie5]

I am so sorry that your father said that to you! Words can be helpful but they can also be super detrimental to those who struggle with their mental health like us. He should have been more encouraging or offer to help you cope and get through it. Welcome back to HU though! I am glad you are back and able to post about how you are feeling. I can't relate to being at home as often as you are but I somewhat struggle with wanting to be home and anti social as well. There are certain things that never bother me with doing but things like going out to eat in public can sometimes really trigger anxiety whereas I would just like to eat in the comfort of my own home. Maybe there will be some sort of group online through zoom that you could participate in? Something to help but not having to leave for it? I don't personally have a therapist but I heard they are helpful as well. Hope all gets better

[Agora1]

RedBird09, how painful is that especially when coming from family.But it happens, it happened to me. I became overwhelmed with anxiety

to the point of staying agoraphobic for 5 years. A long time imprisoned

by my own thoughts of why I couldn't be "normal".

Is there a normal or just an average person?? I turned my life around starting

with the thought "I'll show them who isn't normal" which in a short time proved

to show myself that I was more than an average person.

We never have to prove ourselves to others. Our life, our choices to make changes

that benefit us. I started with baby steps venturing out to places I didn't have to go

but wanted to go. Being out once again, made me see that my life behind 4 walls for

5 years is not where I wanted to be

The fresh air, blue sky and sun had soon hit me when I walked outside. This is what I had been

missing for too long. People bustling around, children riding bikes, laughing and playing,

I wanted so much to be a part of society again.

It takes time but so worth the struggle in breaking out of our old habits. We mustn't allow

negative talks to slow us down. "in one ear, out the other" was now my new mantra.

I can and I will show myself that I am more than capable in becoming who I want to be, who

I was meant to be. And no one will stop me because I am unstoppable.

I'm here, we're here to support you RedBird. I can't should not be in your vocabulary. xx

[RedBird09 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much the kind of advice and support. Everything you said is Me! I try and stay Positive but when all around me is Negativity. I can't take anymore. I want to have a Happy and Joyful life. I can't tell you the last time I had a good fun time. I'm in my own lonely world. I pray everyday and God is my Best Friend, he is the only one who loves me for me. I'm not married and Can't work any longer, I think that it took me years to accept it. I had a good career, very independent, confidence in myself. Until I lost my Mom 12 yrs ago next month. I'm crawled out of the darkness I was in and fought very hard to get to where I am today. I may take several steps back but I'm going to keep fighting. Keep The Faith. Thank you very much for your support. Im sorry you had to go thru the same familiar situation. It sounds like you are a Strong Willed person. I needed to hear that. 👼

[Iamom]

My family isn't the greatest either. When I feel rejected by them, I want to retreat to someplace safe. Honestly, even on the off chance that we are getting along, they are just too much to be around and I'm instantly exhausted just from being in their company. The people you love can take a lot out of you because of how much you care for them.

Forgive yourself for your slip, though. At least you recognize and are aware of where you are. Everything is a cycle. Think back to the last time that you were in this situation. What happened next that led you back to where you felt more comfortable? I understand that when you say normal, you just meant getting back to being someone you recognize. You'll get back there because as temorary as we feel the good times are, so are the bad. They can't last forever.

I'm new here, but welcoming you back with open arms!

[Mikam1967]

Hey there. I totally know how your feel. Well, Covid didnt help and added to my anxiety of not wanting to leave my house. Doctor's appointment and anything for my kids, I'm forced to leave my house. I hate the anxiety of being out of my home. It's like I don't feel safe outside me house. I wish your dad was more supportive of your instead of being unkind. I have a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Maybe you can try talking to your doctor? They gave me medicine to calm down. If there's anything I can help you with, please let me know. Sending you support and hope. Would it be okay if you added you my prayers?