Tired

[Pink-writer]

Have you ever felt like you can't get out of bed but you know you're supposed to get out of bed because you can't stay in bed. That's how I feel every morning I wake up I'm like Again? I have to go through the same routine of doubting my every move or decision and try to figure out if I'll hurt some one or if people will actually notice somethings wrong. Sometimes when I close my eyes I think this is it it's over and then I open them again and I want to scream like WHY? I'm so tired of having to smile all the time or trying to make someone else laugh but at the same time I can't bring myself to be sad or show that I'm not okay because I'm scared when people see me like that they'll realise that I'm broken and they'll leave and I already feel lonely enough in a crowd I don't even want to imagine how it'd feel if I was actually alone. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know what to do.