I'm tired. Life holds the same garbage day in and day out. Therapists seem to only say 'CBT' (aka delude yourself into thinking things are better than they are while your pain sensors say the opposite), prayer/meditation, breathe, breathe and breathe some more, go get exercise, and eat right. Some days like this make me sorry that I have never killed myself. I think that so much pain and suffering could have been prevented. My issues revolve around anxiety and people... and depression. I can deal with my health problems and myself, but people don't realize what they say can not only be so painful but so lasting. I had a TS therapist for 9 months, but I just fired her because she called me 'negative every morning' and insinuated that I didn't want to feel better and wasn't trying hard enough to delude myself. After reading that some people felt some of the feelings that I do here yesterday, I felt better going home from work, but that evening like most of my time, seems to be unproductive because of the unwilling and painful rumination and having to deal with horrible people. I didn't feel better that other people suffered; I felt better because people are validating that the problem is very real and not something to be shushed away as 'oh you're negative, not trying hard enough, not believing in the unicorn life fantasy, not eating right, getting enough exercise or breathing enough...'