Managing anxiety and "acceptance"

[EndUser13]

I have heard the trite but true "resistance equals persistence" comment a number of times in a handful of ways. I find the idea of fighting anxiety without fighting counter-intuitive. I read Barry McDonough's DARE response book and I disliked his approach, much for the same reason I've had trouble with the resist = persist idea- I never felt like I was given a good explanation of how to implement the vague idea. On a petty side note I think Barry McDonough's well-rated approach is trash and not appropriate for someone with PTSD and severe panic disorder w/ agoraphobia like myself, so I've felt frustrated in the past with these concepts.

One of the things I do to cope is to type out my thoughts on my tablet (I guess you could call it 'journaling') and while writing recently I found myself in the rare position where I was able to take a step back and look at an anxiety attack in a detached, clinical sense. I realized that everything I was physically feeling was common for someone who suffers from anxiety and that much of the fear I felt was fear of fear itself, fear of suffering, or some vague notion of dread as if my subconscious were some kind of enemy probing the periphery of my mind for weaknesses so it can unleash a deluge of fear into my conscious mind and panic.

For three days now I have attempted to not resist my anxiety. I acknowledge it is there, I say hello to it, cuss it out and tell it "fine you just do your thing, I'm not going to make a big deal out of you"... something I find very counterintuitive and hard to do when it comes to such intense, primordial seeming fears.

When I first successfully kept my anxiety from turning into panic (not ignoring it, just mitigating it) I recalled a recent panic attack that was awful but started to go downhill when I stopped pacing, made myself sit still, and did some deep breathing while distracting myself with an embroidery project.

Has anyone had any success with a similar approach? Does not feed into the fear mean I'll just have a really bad panic attack in the future because I'm "repressing" (this is a concern). Has the acceptance / "embracing the suck" approach worked for you? How did you manage?

I know I'm being wordsy and maybe a bit vague but this whole concept seems strange to me. I'm guessing this is all about not overreacting to stimuli and approaching your anxiety with a rational mind. It reminds me of meditation, something else I've struggled with a bit.

Thank you for your time!

[Agora1]

EndUser13, I have indeed used your approach in winning over Anxiety.I've accepted it, I've sworn at it (yes me) and I've faced it head on by doing

what I needed to do despite the fear.

The end results has been freedom from Anxiety's threat hanging over me.

It works. As does Meditation and Breathing. Continue on forward, you are

going in the right direction xx

[notanotter]

I don’t know about the person you mention’s approach, but most of the literature on panic disorder features both acceptance (of the fact of the feelings) and gradually practicing sitting with the feelings. It’s both building your tolerance and teaching your lizard brain that hey, nothing actually killed me, we can be less vigilant.

You start with shorter or less anxiety-inducing situations and gradually work up to your most triggering situations. Maybe you’re in the right path or maybe you could back off a little and take even tinier steps forward?

At some point you just push through until you feel the full panic attack and keep talking yourself through it. In that case you’re not suppressing your feelings but letting yourself feel them.

[beowulf1234]

yes, I have found this approach works. But it works by feeling the sensations in your body, not the thoughts in your head. You've got to get out of your head and into your body, which takes practice. Yes it is counterintuitive and it feels very uncomfortable but it does work. Relaxing into the feeling of being anxious, sounds crazy, right! but it seems to be the only way through. Anything else doesn't seem to work. You can't cure it by thinking about it, in fact it only makes it worse. Observing it with curiousity works, which is just like meditation. Good luck xxx

[EndUser13 in reply to beowulf1234]

Thank you, I'm glad this makes sense to someone. I heard some advice ages ago that basically went "you may just need to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable"... that is VERY counterintuitive 😁

[beowulf1234 in reply to EndUser13]

I found the book 'DARE' very useful as it follows this approach. Also talks by Tara Brach (an american psychologist and meditation teacher) on her website. much wise advice especially about fear and anxiety as well as other traumas. All free.

[EndUser13 in reply to beowulf1234]

Thank you but I bought the book and followed them for a bit. It's not for me, I am surprised they have as much good press as they do