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DodgeDhanda profile image
46 Replies

It's only me !

Now I seem to have hit rock bottom possibly & I say this cuz I keep breaking down & crying at the slightest thing & I'm at a total loss as of why ? Have I been finally ground down into this !!!! Worse still I have absolutely NO clue where its come from ! What it plans to do !! No antidote & On the plus point I'm tired & not afraid to be asked to sleep permanently. It's just the way I've been feeling lately & Roxylox asked why I was coming across as bitter but yet I don't think I was & still don't........ I wonder if my soul is actually tiring & wants a break ! I don't know but I wish to know why this & why now !!!

Oh just so you know I'm NOT GONNA END A THING.

ALL INSIGHTS MUCH APPRECIATED

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DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda
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46 Replies
Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

Sometimes that happens when I am having a really overwhelming day . Lots of kindness and support to you Dodge 🙏

Sweetmango85 profile image
Sweetmango85

Sending you light and love. You’ll get through this.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Sweetmango85

Thank you SM85 , all universal good vibes are always welcome so again tyvm .

Imaaan profile image
Imaaan

Hi,

I've seen you put your heart and soul in trying to help others and support them on here. It would be heartless of me not to comment on your post. I dont have the answers to your questions. Life in general has its cyclical ups and downs, easy and difficult times. I do hope you find yourself out of your current state.

Im sorry to hear that you have been crying but I'm glad that you're able to release your tears. Its cathartic. I hope you get through this difficult period. I'm rooting for you.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Imaaan

The tears are flowing reading ur kind words

samack profile image
samack

The low days are horrible and scary aren't they? This too shall pass. Sometimes neurochemistry goes awry. Wish I understood better why. Wishing you relief asap.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to samack

I've never Had low days like this ever & that's why my logical brain is struggling I find

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Hi my friend xYou know they say when we hit rock bottom, the only way to go is back up.

Tears are a good cleansing release whether we know what we are crying about

or not. It's a hormonal release.

Sometimes DodgeDhanda, we just need to step back and give ourselves some

"me time". Be good to yourself, love yourself, care about "You"....

It's going to be okay. You hold the key in helping others, now it's time

for you to use the key to help yourself. We're here for you. :) xx

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Agora1

Agora tyvm for helping me here trying to make sense of it .

If it is hormonal can my doctor help me chemically with medicines ??

Do men suffer from a WOmanopause ??

Is it a blip or am I actually having a breakdown ??

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to DodgeDhanda

Dodge, men do go through their own mid life changes in different way.sPlease talk with your doctor. I care :)xx

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Agora1

I will tomorrow morning

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox

Oh my, I hope I didn't make you overthink about yourself in my post. I feel terrible, I feel responsible. I Should think twice before I write stuff.

I believe you when you say you are not in a very bad place. I would have rare times when I'm tearful though not a tearful person usually. I have no great insights, but on last week's Zoom peer support group I'm in we were talking about Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD).

The host was saying we all suffer from that to a certain degree. He was saying how important it was to get outside every day.Aso to eat oily fish and other foods containing Vitamin D. I try to do that. Would you be feeling overwhelm from the Pandemic?

I know you are a wise person from what you post to help others. You of course are the best judge of you.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Roxylox

Roxy STOP !!!

U did nothing wrong as you were just being honest with me & I refuse to hate the truth & I absolutely love honesty . So U carry on being Ur honest self .

It may well be a case of U saw a change in me that I couldn't see coming & that is more than just a Vegas trick but true insite into ur fellow group member .

If I mention U in my post's from now on its giving U praise for ur insight & friendship.

Sending Big Fat Hugs X

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to DodgeDhanda

Thank you so much, I hope you get sortec quickly, you are an inspiration here often

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Roxylox

Don't know about sorted , I'd rather understand it & learn to accept it as a new part of me X

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to DodgeDhanda

Well, yes , learning to accept is good.Even today, l learned a few things about myself I hadn't noticed before just from journalling exercises. It was food for thought. Are you a perdon who acceptd things easily Dodge Dhanda.? I don't know whethet I am or not.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Roxylox

Rox if I understand something & know why it happens then why should I hide the truth ? I preach how important truth is & how accepting the truth helps us better understand & can help set ourselves free & our minds into a better state of understanding everything that effects & affects us too.

Always pay for emotional items with the truth .

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to DodgeDhanda

I din't realise you had so many mobility issues until L saw your reply to someone - think it was Daveacre.You also mention a possible Womenopause. A doctor who writes for a local newspape did an article some months ago about the Andropause - I think that's the term he used. So it is a thing. I think he said a blood test will tell if you are at thst stage.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Roxylox

Yes it's called Andropause but it about as much like real menopause as a tiny water balloon is affective on a forest fire

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda

Thank U to those who responded to my questions & I think I may well need chemical help from my doctors . Well try to get an appointment, I do have more chance of finding a real alien working at a Wendy's & I believe there is a few in London only .

Thank U all for ur support in this the strangest change in my life since 2008 when I had life saving surgery but can't remember exactly what happened .

I get this way too, especially lately. It’s weird because when I was first put on antidepressants I literally could not cry and it kinda scared me and I felt it wasn’t good as I felt that if I could just cry and let it out I’d feel better. Now I am able to cry and although I don’t cry often , when I do it’s out of the blue and most times I have no idea why. It seems common, maybe just one more lovely side effect of anxiety/depression.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to AnxiousCanadianChic

Hi ACC , that's exactly hw I feel & I've been on Antidepressants for over a decade now. I'm so glad I'm not alone & U have described it exactly as I would & Ur right I feel about another dirty trick by our brains on us too !!!

Have U developed any new coping methods or are U still learning , also do U feel that regardless of the tears from nowhere that ur in charge .

I wish U love & joy & tyvm for sharing

AnxiousCanadianChic profile image
AnxiousCanadianChic in reply to DodgeDhanda

I never really feel “in charge” but 90% of my anxiety is from having epilepsy and never knowing when a seizure is coming. I find focusing on something helps, whether it’s a project, a really good tv show/movie or guided meditation. I have been to a therapist in the past but she really didn’t help. I actually have a therapy session tomorrow for the first time in years, I’m excited but I’m not expecting much as I haven’t had good luck in the past.

I’ve always had anxiety but the seizures took it to a whole new level. I think the only real thing that would help is not having them ever again. What’s really hard is my auras feel like anxiety so I never know what’s to come. It sucks because my anxiety causes seizures and the seizures cause anxiety, it’s a horrible cycle.

I’m thinking my random crying is a subconscious thing and maybe my mind feels it needs to let it out but I have no idea. In my head I prioritize things, so for me the random crying is odd but it doesn’t overly get to me only because my brain is so focused on the stupid seizures.

Like I said, the only thing that helps(besides staying in bed) is having something to focus on. I also like doing those diamond art things, that keeps me very focused. I also enjoy most game shows like Jeopardy, The Chase, The Wall, Who wants to be a millionaire? Etc. as they keep my brain focused on the questions and not on other crap floating around in my head.

I also read A LOT but do find that my mind will start to wonder while I’m reading, no matter how good the book is.

You mentioned you’ve been on antidepressants for a long time? Maybe you need to try a different one? I’m on sertraline and I feel it’s not helping so I’m gonna try something else, I have an appointment with the psychiatrist in October and I’ll see what he thinks I should try next. So far I’ve tried sertraline and Prozac and no real improvement with either. The psychiatrist said due to my meds I can only be on certain ones 😞

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to AnxiousCanadianChic

ACC.

U dear person U. My neighbours 15 Yr old daughter suffers from epilepsy & she can have an episode at any time & I've witnessed one & it confused me as it wasn't a trad sizeure but something totally different & U only know she has had an episode in how she talks& responds , however my darling neighbour has unfortunately suffered some brain damage due to the epilepsy & it's so bad that she has no concept of stranger danger & she believes EVERYONE is a nice person & she will talk to anyone & thankfully not only her mother but her teachers have noticed that she has changed in the way she conducts herself & for my friend this is ammunition to go rip off the specialists head & shout down his neck then take a shit in his chest & use his hair to wipe ur bottom .

I seemed to have calmed down & I don't feel that anything is wrong at all. However I know nothing & I need to understand or end up on a psych ward !!!

Have U tried listening to Audible books as well as reading to keep ur mind busy ?

AnxiousCanadianChic profile image
AnxiousCanadianChic in reply to DodgeDhanda

Yup I actually got audio books to try to help me sleep but I get so into them that I can’t sleep 😂 (I like mysteries). I always thought epilepsy was the typical one you see on TV but I’ve come to realize there are many types. I started out having the Grand Mal ones(the falling and shaking) then was put on a medication and haven’t had one of those in over 7 years(but I’m always terrified of having one again). The ones I have now, I get this feeling that I can’t explain and know I’ll have one. Mine now are simple partial seizures. People have many different kinds of simple partial seizures and in my case I can talk but I’m told it comes out a jumbled mess or sounds like I’m speaking another language. It’s the same with understanding someone, I can hear them but it’s all jumbled. Even reading, I’ll see just a bunch of letters. They only last 30-60 seconds but it takes about 20 mins to fully get better and speak regularly and understand people properly.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to AnxiousCanadianChic

U know what ACC., U have a great way of explaining what's going on & how it is . U keep doing wat u u are & if others don't get it then thsys their issue as I understand you X

Midori profile image
Midori

Hi Dodge; This is why I said I was taking a step back from the forums a few days ago; I haven't left, I'm just becoming a little more careful of the folk I try to help, as I have been reported a few times lately. I tread as carefully as I can, but still some folk misunderstand.

I have been feeling tired by it all, so I decided a little self-care was in order.

Perhaps you might need to put You first for awhile?

Trying to help folk can be so very draining, especially when there is only the written word to go by, we do our best, but sometimes we are still misunderstood.

Take care of You, we don't want to lose you.

Cheers, Midori

Murielle21 profile image
Murielle21 in reply to Midori

Dear Mindori

I’m new here but I’m sure you are only trying to help. I’m in a very bad way myself atm. I’m a senior and afraid of what the rest of my life will be as l am alone except for my dog. I’m wishing you all the best.

Midori profile image
Midori in reply to Murielle21

I'm 73, and I would love a dog again!

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Midori

Dogs are better than people & cats. A dog won't disappear all day & go others houses & act like U don't look after them, dogs listen & love u regardless & in the case of the human they cheat !!!

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Midori

Heeeeeyy it's my favourite teenage Septuagenarian !!!

Firstly HOW DARE people complain about people trying to help them !!!!! If u don't like the answer then DON'T POST ON A FORUM !!!!! It's basic intelligence BUT that's lacking in far too many humans these days .

I've hardly been online let alone been on this forum & I believe in that time this happened to me .

I just hope I'm going through womenapause !!

It's a thing now & I'm naming the male version to the ladies who have gone through , going through or have yet to go through the menopause.

I know just caring & trying to help others is draining but being able to help those U do help understand things better is the mission & U are brilliant at it & anyone who think they're better than other need to come talk to me as I WILL TELL THEM THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT THEMSELVES & they.can report me & if admin want to warn or ban suffering people or deny or hate the truth then those folk need to suffer !!!!!

How very dare they the bar stewards !!!

Wow that kept the tears at bay but the anger rose & rapidly too .

Midori U just carry on being U & that's true to who U are & if others take umbrage then it's obvious that they're absolute laws of the worst kind!!! Those sort of people would lie to their own god even though they already know that their own god knows they're lying , yet they still lie !!!

XX

Midori profile image
Midori in reply to DodgeDhanda

You make me laugh, Dodge! Keep it up my dear!

Daveacr1959 profile image
Daveacr1959

Myself and many on here care for you. Please don’t take my advice as weird, but it really helps me. And you can look it up on the internet. Force yourself to go for a brisk 45-60 minutes walk . Or just briskly dance in your house to a mix of upbeat music. Remember no resting. It’s like jogging not sprinting. Take a shower. After your done with the shower, make the water lukewarm. So it’s not cold but not warm. Then go full cold for 5 minutes. You want the water about 55 degrees. Maybe you have a cooking thermometer to see where 55 is on your dial . There is magic in this cold water. Look up cold showers for depression and anxiety. Not to mention it will boost your immune system. And give you a feeling of confidence and strength. I am addicted to it now. The first 2 weeks are hard if you think they are hard. But after that you will be addicted too . And maybe you will do it every 12 hours.. lol .. In common terms, it shocks the anxiety and depression right out of you.. lol .. then put on some warm sweats and warm up slowly.. don’t turn the hot water back on

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Daveacr1959

Hi Dave & ur advice isn't weird & it would work . However I can stand up & walk 3 steps without my crutches or walking stick & I'm in constant chronic pain & I think that could be 1 of the reasons I'm going through what I am . See my family , we have a WhatsApp group as do billions of others around the world & 1 of the first things the family did was a couple of times a week they would go for walks , to get out , stimulate their minds & generally be fit but I can't even & I do have the use of a wheelchair but that's not me walking , that's someone pushing me like I'm in an adult pram/ pushchair !!!

Thanks for the great suggestion though Dave .

Daveacr1959 profile image
Daveacr1959 in reply to DodgeDhanda

Is there anyway you can get 55-58 degree water on you for 5 minutes? Without the danger of slipping?

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Daveacr1959

Hot water bottle maybe but no amount of morphine or capsaicin seeds based pain gel has shifted 1 second of pain & it never will. I have far too much scar tissue to be able to sit in any 1 position for more than a couple of minutes , I can't lay on my front due to the permanent stoma bag & again due to the strange shape of my stomach ( which is lop sided & pushed to the right & is stuck in place due to the way the scar tissue grew , I sleep in a recliner as I am unable to lay flat as it feels like I'm drowning & can't breathe again due to the scar tissue & Dave I am so glad ur trying to help me to achieve some sort of mobility. I'm not knocking everything back even though I am , it's just I've gone through a lot of pain to know ot doesn't work for me.

I've even joined groups that my doctors have recommended but even they were based in the realm that exercise will fix it . I mean only know do they realise we are all individuals & no 1 plan fixes everyone.

I'm phoning my doctor in the morning

Daveacr1959 profile image
Daveacr1959 in reply to DodgeDhanda

The cold water is for your brain. It’s been proven to help with anxiety and depression. And yes , it is good for pain if you can take 10-15 minutes of it . I was just trying to get 5 minutes of it for your mental health. What happened to you? What type of illness caused this my brother? Please read my profile, I am going through tough times too. I will read your profile, I have before but don’t remember you mentioning a physical illness? Just the mental illness we are here for. And yes , I agree with you. Sometimes our soul just gets too tired. And we have to surrender to the higher power. And turn it over . Our souls know better than we do. Like you said, you are not doing anything harsh. You are just letting your soul know, you know, your soul knows best. There is peace and freedom, when we surrender and quit fighting and.. go with the flow.. learn how to not care.,a wise old man told me. He was referring to health ailments and worries about that . Because he was trying to make me understand, worries can’t fix it.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Daveacr1959

The wisest man I ever knew & he was my hero was my dad as it was from him I learned my spirituality.

I only ever knew him as chronically sick & due to his health worsening over the years bed ridden too & a lot of my life mirrored his.

The single most profound teaching I got from my dad was about material gain & spiritual gain. He would say look at this man who flaunts his wealth & is trying to make others jealous & he is going to be the biggest loser, for when he dies he won't be able to take a single penny with him , where a poorer person who would learn about how they should have more faith & to as much good U can for ur community for if U & the rich man die on the same day , more tears will be shed for the spiritual man than the material man & if his closest are celebrating the material man is the fact he left tem with material things which may make

U & others feel happy but ur soul will be empty & screaming by the end of ur time , so always look to feed ur soul by sharing url ove , ur posessions & soul & U will be loved , remembered & real tears will be shed for U.

The truth is food for everyone's soul.

Tara52 profile image
Tara52

Do you think you are feeling sad? That may seem like a silly question.🙃 However there are times when I have cried because someone has hurt me and times I have cried while grieving over the death of a family member. Last week I cried because I was just plain sad over being alone so much. I have no family here in Florida and except for one friend I see for lunch once a week, I hardly see anyone. Yes it's sunny here in Florida but it is very hot and humid!🌞🌴 I hope you are feeling better today my friend!🤗

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Tara52

Hi Tara , hope ur well & u need to go to the library & find a young man there lol .

Having looked into it more , I find it's not a feeling of sadness but a feeling of empty space around me & I still can't figure out why I keep bursting into tears for no reason & it lasts between 5 & 10 seconds a time.

Tara52 profile image
Tara52

Oh I see...this may sound trite but sometimes I put on my favorite comedian. Here in the states is a comedian I like, Jim Gaffigan. If you can look at his video on YouTube called "Whales" I find it quite amusing.🐳😁 I hope you are having a better day. (Maybe I will check out the library.😉)

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Tara52

Hi Tara , I too put on my favourite movie or show when I know I need to just chill

Zara0123 profile image
Zara0123 in reply to Tara52

I do the same. I have to watch something funny to try to snap out of it and feel better

Zara0123 profile image
Zara0123

I'm really sorry to hear your feeling like this. Your post is 2 days old so I'm really hoping your feeling a bit better 🥰 The worse is like you said when you don't know where its come from because how do you fix it 🤷‍♀️ when your feeling stressed and things are going wrong in life its understandable we get emotional and cry but when its sudden and without a reason its more frightening. You will get through this. You have everyone's support on here. We are here to help. I'm feeling tearful reading your post and writing to you because I've had a really difficult year and have been at that place your at and even though your feeling really down know that things will change for the better. You support so many on this forum and give some of the best advice. Just to let you know we are here for you and really care 💕

Tara52 profile image
Tara52 in reply to Zara0123

Thank you so much. I am praying for all of us to be free of the bondages of fear and sickness .🙏💗

Zara0123 profile image
Zara0123 in reply to Tara52

Me too 🤲 💖

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