Bipolar Realizations have me so low I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Bipolar Realizations have me so low I can't stand it. Someone please help me see better.

ChristFollower profile image
17 Replies

I've had 3 breakdowns in 6 months. My husband is divorcing me. I haven't been able to see my kids in 5 months. I haven't worked in 15 years and now need to go back into the workforce. I had to leave my home. My life is so absolutely terrible Ii find I wish I was never born. I'm crying out to God the why's of it all. But no answer.

Someone, anyone...please help me feel some sunlight in this bleak tormenting life Now live in. On top of that I have legal trouble for breaking an OP...texting to RECONSILE with my husband and leaving a hoolahoop on our doorstep for my daughter. He turned me in and now I could have jail time. Not likely as my meds were being reduced at the time but I'm so freaking scared out of my mind. I feel like a child inside. Alone and afraid. Terrified. Petrified.

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ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower
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17 Replies
mentalcase profile image
mentalcase

I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you. Do you live by yourself or family? Are you on any kinds of medication? We sometimes have to hit bottom before things start getting better. It's very hard but things do get better. I've been through almost all of the same things and have had to start over many times with nothing. Have faith and pray because the good Lord is watching over you and He knows the plans that He has for you. Life does get better, just don't give up.

ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower in reply to mentalcase

Hi. I am by myself at a seasonal campsite until October 15th with nowhere to go. There's an apartment shortage and I don't have any work history to show or three times income versus rent. I am on medications and counseling. It's very overwhelming. Thank you for your kind words. I'm newly diagnosed at 49.

mentalcase profile image
mentalcase in reply to ChristFollower

Are there any shelters where you live? Have you talked to your therapist about your situation? What about going to the police station or churches and ask for help. I've had to do that before and your therapist may have some options for you. No one should have to live at a campground. I hope someone can come up with something for you. I've been homeless before and have had to live in shelters. It's no fun but sometimes we have to do things whether we like it or not. What happens Oct 15th? Best of luck and you will be in my prayers.

ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower in reply to mentalcase

My sister is trying to help me find an apartment. Money isn't an issue, it's the apartment shortage. Thank you for the prayers. I really appreciate it.☺️

mentalcase profile image
mentalcase in reply to ChristFollower

You're very welcome. Keep your hopes up and things will get better. Stay away from your ex.

ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower in reply to mentalcase

I will for sure!

Rick1on1 profile image
Rick1on1

What a tough set of circumstances!

You have to review what has helped you in the past to approve your mood, energy etc. Then by prioritizing the most important challenges and take small steps every day to solve that problem.

It's not gonna be easy but remember you have come through difficult times before!

Good luck!

ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower in reply to Rick1on1

Thank you for your kind words!

SplashDown profile image
SplashDown

That is a LOT all at once. I have had the most luck dealing with overwhelming feelings and circumstances with therapy. Even just a little bit of untangling the wild black ball of stuff and just expressing helped a lot. Walking may help you. This may seem counter intuitive, but distracting yourself for 15 minutes may actually help. Was there something you enjoyed doing a lot when you were 10 years old? That may hold a key for you. Sending warm thoughts -- you have a lot going on...

ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower in reply to SplashDown

Thank you for your kind words. It's a lot. I find myself tired at 7:30 and sleep is my refuge. I'm sleeping 10-11 hours a day. Thank you for the suggestions. God bless you and everyone here.

Daveacr1959 profile image
Daveacr1959

I have been feeling the same, since my cancer battle 18 months ago. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks in 1993. I had been managing them with daily cardio exercise to produce endorphins that battle your anxiety and depression. Then the big illness hit . I had 2 emotions for a year, fear and panic. I am in remission 18 months and doing better, but can’t get back to where I was . I swim laps slowly an hour a day in a chilly pool. It helps a lot . My knees are old and tired so jogging and stuff hurts . But you can do it, or you tube aerobics? And they say a 5 minute pure cold shower can battle depression and anxiety.. Google it.. cold shower therapy.. this helps me.. I am here for you.. just like I need you to be here for me.. your mind is whirling around in a cycle of several things it sounds like? You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else.. you can do this.. I have faith in you

ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower in reply to Daveacr1959

Thank you for responding and the suggestions. Most very kind of you!!!

mentalcase profile image
mentalcase

Hello. I'm checking to see how you're doing now? I hope things have gotten a lot better for you. Do you have a place to live now? Sorry I haven't checked on you sooner but have been dealing with doctors constantly since being diagnosed recently lung cancer. I hope to hear on here from you and how you're doing.

ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower in reply to mentalcase

Hi there, I'm terribly sorry for your recent diagnosis!!! And here you are trying to help me. God is powerful through His people!!!

I finally found an apartment!!! It's more expensive than I anticipated but with frugal planning I can manage it.

Things are going along a bit better. I no longer wish I wasn't born and am seeking time with my kids through the court system. They are my everything. 14 and 12. They are angry at me for my mental illness but am going through reconciliation counseling soon.

I tank you over and over for reaching out to me . It want the world.

Colleen

mentalcase profile image
mentalcase in reply to ChristFollower

This is all good to hear and I'm so glad that things have worked out for you.

I have to have surgery and that will get all of the cancer. The nodule is 1.6 cm so it's not bad. I am so wanting to go home to be with my Lord and was hoping this might be it, but no such luck. I've been through more than my share of almost everything and I'm tired of all if it. I live by myself now and get along ok, except for the loneliness sometimes. I'm still friends with my ex husband, whom I've been friends with for 60 years but only married 10 months. It just wasn't meant for us to be married. He's still my best friend and always right there when I need something. He's the only one I've had for support through this cancer.

Thank you for answering my post and again I'm so glad that you have an apartment and things are coming together for you. Best of luck.

drummerboy1 profile image
drummerboy1

yes follower//i had a breakdown point about 1 month ago.i cried like a child and cried out to god to take all my anxiety /panic and depression off of my mind and soul.the next 5 days i had no anxiety and for the most part god is helping me most days.i dont recommend meds or think im saved all the time but i make myself think positively everyday when i used to think/WHEN WILL I HAVE MY NEXT PANIC ATTACK/DO I HAVE ANY XANAX LEFT/DO I HAVE ANY BEER TO DRINK TO NUMB ME OUT..totally wrong thinking and i was masking the problems instead of changing my bad thinking over a 22 year battle..i also tell satan im a child of god now and i have no time for him anymore....i hope maybe this tale helps some....

ChristFollower profile image
ChristFollower in reply to drummerboy1

Thank you for your reply. Hang in there!!

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