Is this clinical depression or is life just that bad?

[Jujenki]

I am not diagnosed with anything, One of my friends beat the other to death at work, I was the manager then and her son called me to ask who killed his Mom. My wife that I truly loved and served betrayed me so horribly and still denies me the truth of it all. The courts destroyed me wrongfully, to their own admission, my wife’s guy she was cheating with plotted to kill me, they all was using crack and meth which means they’ve had more of my wife sexually than I ever will. but the kids got placed with them. I was clean of all drugs, I was a career family man 100%. I am with her so the kids have their mom and dad but it’s totally fake! She doesn’t give a fuck about me and never has. My kids suffer with or without us together and I’m stuck with not being able to afford life alone because child support takes my checks from the courts fuckup, and my license is suspended! My career is useless.

I’m plan my suicide 1,000 times per day!

[Agora1]

Jujenki, thank you for honestly opening up to us and sharing your story.I consider myself a strong person but will admit that I was crying while reading

your post.

How sad to be put into a position that you feel has cornered you. I'm sure there

are many men (maybe on this site) that can share their thoughts with you.

I may not know what the answer is for you but I do know that you deserve a life to live

and not just exist.

Please don't do anything rash. We want you safe from harm. We never know where

life may take us but believe please that you are here for a reason. You came on this amazing

forum as a step forward that you want help, support and people that care. And we do.

Welcome to a safe place to come to when life feels lonely and you feel disillusioned . We help each other through the darkest of times so that we can reach the rainbow together xx

[Tara52]

Wow that's a whole lot of pain you have suffered! I am so sorry you had to go through all of this. No wonder you are angry but don't act on it because it will only make things worse! I can't diagnose anything but you could be suffering some PTSD symptoms.. You can look up info on it online. Probably people have suggested a good counselor? A mens support group could be helpful.Do you enjoy playing any sports?

I know some men like shooting hoops or playing racketball to get rid of some built up tension.

Please don't give up hope. With some kind support and in time some healing a new life can develop. I will be praying for you and your kids. Hopefully you will get custody of them. She doesn't sound stable enough to properly care for them. In the meantime it would benefit you and the kids to learn to get your anger under control. I know it is justified but it can destroy you if not dealt with. God bless and help you.🙏💗

[Roia]

It takes time to heal. And it looks like you have witnessed and experienced a lot lately. Don't give up, even though it's easy to say yet hard to do.One day at the time, make a plan of your day where you exercise, eat healthy, spend time with your kids. Your kids need you more than you think! Build healthy, trusting relationship with them. Everything in this world is temporary..good or bad. We have choices to make every day and it's hard at times to choose right ones but then we can't expect for a change to happen in our lives if we don't .

I went through horrible divorce myself eight years ago and i remembered wanting to die everyday . My mom and my son were too important, i couldn't leave them. In two years i got better, much better!

Never loose hope. Take care of yourself for your kids, don't loose hope and everything will be just fine. Promise! 🙂

[mom483]

OMG! That is horrible!I hate the family court system. They think women are the naturally better parent because they gave birth. NOT TRUE!!!I have seen a lot of women abuse their kids and use them for their personal gain. TRying to fight the mother in court is a losing battle. All you will do is spend every penny you have trying to see your kids and to have her block you at every turn.

The best thing I can suggest is, if you get to see your children, document everything!If there are concerns of abuse or neglect - REPORT THEM Every. Time.

I'm sorry, it's not much but I understand how your hands are tied. Just take one moment at a time. Hang in there. I wish you the best.

[Daveacr1959]

You have been through a lot . It might be depression. I don’t have depression I have anxiety. I will tell you please put the suicide out of your mind. There are many articles on the internet, about people who did it and lived. And all of them said, 1 second after they did it, they knew it was the biggest mistake ever. I can only tell you what helps me. I get 45 minutes of cardio exercise daily to produce endorphins that battle your anxiety and depression. Get 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Treasure and love your family. I am not trying to discount the struggle you are going through. Your main problem seems to be getting along with your wife. Maybe you can go to counseling with her ? Maybe when she got on drugs she got hooked and lost control? If you 2 can fore give each other? And try to build a loving life with your family. Go for a hard hike or jog or walk. Jump rope , do some exercise etc , burn off the steam and stress . I am in your corner rooting for you and your family. I had a good friend go through the same thing. Only no violence at work. And he moved out to rent a room . Because it was over between the wife. But he is doing good and so are the kids. If your a believer, start talking to the creator. Build a relationship with god . It beats talking to yourself. And I think it helps. If your not a believer I understand, my dad can’t believe. Practice mindfulness breathing exercise 3 x daily. And just know your kids and parents and siblings need you. And this tough time will pass .

[Midori]

If your children are in an unsafe environment you should call CPS and explain it to them, then perhaps you could gain parental control again.

If the Courts have screwed up, surely you could have appealed?