I’m literally scared all the time

I feel like my social anxiety just keeps getting worse as the years go by. The more I keep losing people in my life the more I feel like it’s my fault and I did something wrong. So I don’t let myself get close to people even though I really really crave a close connection with someone. Or when I do get close to someone I get over-attached and I feel like I can be too much. But I have so much fear inside me all the time. I hate myself so much and I never try and work on myself. I just allow myself to keep torturing myself every day. I’ve known the steps I need to take for years and I never take them. I may attempt something for like a day but give up because it’s too hard or fear someone will judge me for whatever reason. I started to tell myself that I need to do things on my own to start feeling confident before doing it infront of people. But I still don’t really make much attempts at anything. I know I need to make a change but my depression sometimes just kicks my ass.

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It's not your fault, some people grow apart. Small baby steps to work on yourself is best. Most people arn't judging, they're usually getting on with their life and even if they do judge, so what. It's just a thought they have and then they move on to something else.

[marsdream]

Hello DepressedLibraYou should be proud of yourself for being brave and wanting to express yourself! Social anxiety can be hard to handle. My kiddo suffers with it and what we did for her is to find a therapist for her to talk with. Also, we lighted her social load. She is doing school from home but still connects with friends when she is able to. Maybe try to find a therapist to speak with who can give you some good skills to use in your tool kit when you are dealing with relationships. Hang in there!