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Anxiety and Depression Support
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I’m so scared.

Right now I’m having terrible anxiety. I’m scared and I’m tired of being alone but at the same time I don’t do anything about it. I just keep thinking no one would like me, no one would want to be with me. I’m so alone and I’m afraid something will happen and I have no one to help me. I believe I’m the loneliest person on this forum. Other than people af work I have no one to talk to. I’ve done a good job of isolating myself through the years.

I have a doctors appt. this morning. What if they find something wrong? And I need someone with me? My mind keeps telling me I’m a loser, I’m pathetic and I have no friends or family. Those I was most close have passed away. And many others in my family have drifted away and gotten on with there own lives. I let all this happen to myself.

Please know that I appreciate all of your responses. I will try and write back but after my doc. appt. I’m going into work.

Thank you everyone for always listening to me. I’m just feeling very alone right now.

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Hey I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Remember I'm your friend. Please hang in there. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

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Thank you. I know you are here for me. I’m just having a difficult time and it’s always in the mornings. I wake up feeling so anxious and afraid. And inevitably I think about how empty my life is. Everything I do I do alone and it’s sad. I know I sound like a broken record. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.

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Hey if you want give me a call. I'll do whatever I can to help you. I love you my friend. Peace, light, joy & hugs!

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Thank you. Your so very nice to me. I will call. I’m just uncomfortable talking on the phone. Afraid I’ll have nothing to say. ((((Hugs)))) ✌️

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Hi Shutterbug65,

Let's start by saying hello. My name is John. Can I call you by a name that's more friendly than "Shutterbug65" ?

Pick a name (a nickname) that you'd like your friends can call you. It could be anything. Maybe Zorg the Hero ? How about Dan Dare, or maybe Rachel ? My point is that making friends begins with opening up. Try smiling and saying something like, "Hello, my name is xxx, but my friends call me John".

Ok, you'll choose a more traditional nickname. In the Army and the RAF everyone gets a nickname. It's usually something amusing that their mates have given them that embarrasses the recipient, as well as welcoming them into the group of friends.

My nickname is "John". When I meet someone new, especially if I'm thinking I might like to become friends, I say the Hello my name is xxx but my friends call me John, which tells the other person that they're a potential friend, and (If they are open to making friends) inevitably leads to the question, "why are you called John ?", and we're already chatting.

Why I'm called John is a funny story. It's about something I once said/did, and my friends will never let me forget it. 😉

"Shutterbug" is a nickname often given to amateur photographers, so I'm assuming you're a snapper. But it's a bit too ordinary for a good nickname (which should poke fun at you), so how about we find you something better?

Please tell us a few funny stories about things that have happened to you or things you've done (especially embarrassing stories), and let your forum friends find you a new nickname.

Over to you, Shutterbug65...

John

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Hi John. My name is Don, no nickname. And yes I enjoy photography, it’s been a passion of mine for many years, going way back to the film days.

I never had a nickname and I can’t think of any stories either. I’m sorry. My life’s been pretty uneventful, and now I’m a loner with no friends.

But thanks for writing to me. I enjoyed reading your post. I know the point is to make new connections that may lead to a friendship. I have a hard time with that.

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Maybe we should call you 'David', as in David Bailey the photographer? That gives you your "My name is Don Xxxx, but my friends call me David" line. And, when they ask, "Why David?", there's your invitation to say something about photography.

I move around a lot. Often only staying in one place (or even one country) for 6 to 12 months. So, as you'll imagine, I'm constantly needing to establish new friends. It's easy. You don't need to look for them. They will find you. That's because everyone wants to know about the new guy. So if you've something in common -- like our shared interest in photography -- we'll likely get talking ...and bore everyone else silly 😂 !

The only requirement for making new friends is finding somewhere to meet them. I've make friends with people I met on eBay, or by going to a club, or even on this forum. Strange as it may sound, eBay is a good place. If you find that someone you've bought from lives near you (it's in the delivery information), and you've been chatting over the private messaging, you might meet up. That's what's happened to me, because we were buying/selling collector's items that we're both interested in.

If you join one of the on-line photography forums, David, you can get to know people without the pressure of being the new boy in a regular club. Then, once you're comfortable with your new friends, you can move on from typing forum messages, to Skype, and eventually meeting face-to-face. No worries about anxiety, as you already know each other.

Give it a go,

John

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Thank you John for your great advice. But I have trouble just having a casual conversation. I just feel like I’m uninteresting. I don’t know, it’s all my insecurities I guess. I’m always believing people are judging me, and it’s never in a good way. I have no one John, no friends, the only people I talk to regularly are my co workers.

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Don,

Of course you're not uninteresting.

Maybe you might bore people if you talk photography and it's not their thing? That's why I'm suggesting you join that photography forum.

It's a forum just like this one. So all you need do is type messages. Why not give it a go? Don't want to push you, but no one will judge you on a photography forum ; well, unless your photographs are of your thumb in front of the lens 😉.

Here's a secret. I'm a degree qualified technical photographer. One time, I did actually take a picture with my finger in front of the lens 🙄, and you can bet my co-workers took the micky out of me for weeks.

Good luck,

John

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It's great that u can work. That is a distraction for you. I can't work my anxiety is so severe. I wake up with it everyday. My chest pounds everyday. Meds aren't working neither is therapy. I have seen so many therapists and psychiatrists and nothing has worked I've been to the er multiple times and I am good physicaly, I am so scared my anxiety is getting worse.

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I’m sorry your anxiety is so severe. I know how it feels to wake up with immediate anxiety, I’m afraid something will happen to me or my job and I’ll end up homeless. Anxiety has caused me to miss out a lot in life, I feel overwhelmed by it. I know that hearing 'your not alone' doesn’t help much. But I’m here if you want to talk. Please take care of yourself.

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I just want you to know that I sincerely hope you are feeling better. Anxiety is rough, it can eventually effect our everything we do, or try to do. I know this is what happened to me. Eventually over time I lost all my friends and most of my family. I would get so nervous before a social event that I would make up any excuse not to go. I would lie and they knew it. So now I’m alone, my girlfriend passed in 2010 and my Dad in 2014 and I’ve been alone since then.

Take care and let me know how your doing.

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I hope you are doing better. Just checking.

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I'm so sorry that you feel so alone & are overcome with anxiety. Being alone can be a terrible feeling & one that isn't easily overcome- especially if you are a natural introvert. I believe that we were created to be in relationship with others & when we aren't we begin to feel the negative affects of being isolated. Sometimes breaking free from isolation takes baby steps but, it takes a decision to make a first step. Allowing fears to overpower you will keep you trapped. I would encourage you to really think about the things that interest you. What did you like to do as a child? What gave you joy? Was it something creative? An activity? I've found it is easier to break out of loneliness by getting out & just being around other people. You don't necessarily have to talk with anyone- at least not at first. Maybe consider taking a class that interests you- tapping into something you loved as a child. You & others will be focused on learning or doing an activity which takes the pressure off of trying to fit in or make friends. You might just find that you have a passion for something that will help you to naturally break out of your isolation & connect with others. Having courage to change your environment, change your perspective & believing in the best for yourself might be just the right first step. Please know that you are worthy of love & created to be in relationship with others. I'm rooting for you & praying you find the right path.

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Thank you. I often go places where I can be around other people. I love photography and go to the city to do street photography, either Philly or NY. I live in New Jersey so there both close by. And your right, just getting out and being around people helps me. I loved doing creative things as a child, I used to draw a lot, just stuff from my imagination, I miss having that sense of wonder, of getting lost in my imagination. And knowing I was loved and taken care of. I never had a lot of friends but I was happy, and would do things by myself. Yes I’m an introvert.

But now I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to me as I get older. I can’t handle life alone anymore, I just feel overwhelmed by everything, I just need to get out, to get away. I hate being in my own house.

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I don't remember a thing from age 9. I suppressed it all.

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Hey! I feel that way all day even at work, you wanna talk?

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Yes. I would Iike to talk.

Thanks

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You sound like an awesome person that has a lot to offer- creative, sensitive and imaginative. Please don't live in fear of the future. Worrying never adds anything to our lives, we can't change the past, we can't predict the future but what we can do is live for today! Photography is a great outlet, but I wonder if you would rather hide behind the lense then truly engage in the world around you? I would encourage you to maybe consider taking an art class or something- that would help you get back in touch with your imagniative side and place you in an environment that would foster more human interaction. Who knows you might connect with someone that you can share some of the same interests and begin a new relationship! I believe in you, I believe you can step out in bravery and explore new avenues that will lead you into fellowship with others. Use that beautiful creative mind you were given and mix it with a little bit of faith and hope- that's what can change your future. There is power in positivity. I'm not sure your beliefs but this verse speaks to me for you: Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you to give you a hope and a future." Don't give up and please don't live trapped in fear, you can have a future that isn't all alone! Please keep me posted on how you are doing!

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Thank you so much for such a wonderful heartfelt reply. You have given me some great advice on how to meet others. I’m just extremely self conscious, I have bad teeth and I’m so afraid people will notice and judge me negatively. I’m so ashamed of my non existent smile. No dental insurance for over 20 years took its toll. I love photography, especially street photography (New York) and I do take pics of people but my interactions are brief as I ask permission to take a portrait. Very few times I actually engaged in a conversation.

If your on Instagram my acct is d_wagner_photo you can take a look, it’s basically the only social media site I’m on.

Thank you again for believing in me. But I think eventually my anxiety, depression and self consciousness will get the best of me.

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Oh love, don't let appearance hold you back. Those that have a genuine heart will see past your smile "or lack thereof" and be able to see the beautiful soul that dwells within. Remember it isn't the number of friends that you have that make you worthy or successful it's the quality of friendship that matters. I continue to believe in you!

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I’m sorry for missing your reply. I often miss a lot of feedback to my post. Hard to keep up

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I try to go amongst people but I feel outta place, I feel so sad, I can’t get off my bed sometimes, I do things alone, I don’t know how to relate with people...i only most times need someone to talk and relate with.

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I feel like an alien. I don’t understand why ppl think & act the way they do. I know the social rules,so I can fit in anywhere I go... but most people are batshit crazy.

Sorry for the language, but I can’t sleep for more than 3 hours at a stretch because of nerve pain in my leg.😡😡🤬🤬. I cannot think, and I’m really dizzy.

Thanks be to God that I have a family. I cam constantly aware of how blessed I am.

Not being able to understand people on a basic level is very frustrating.

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Thank goodness you do have a family. To have that support is so important. That’s my issue I have no one. I need to be around people atleast, even if I don’t know them.

Take care of yourself.

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Hello "David" [Bailey],

Have you joined an on-line photographic club yet?

Here's what looks like a good one talkphotography.co.uk/forums/

Lots of interesting discussion areas. You can sign-up then just browse for a while. And, once you feel ready, try asking a few questions. Those people who answer your questions are usually the most friendly people.

[ Just a couple of cautions: avoid any on-line photography club that wants payment. These are usually commercial publishers who will tell you you're a photographic genius and that they want to publish your work ...for a small fee! Avoid them. Also, when you do get around to submitting your own pictures or thought, be aware of Trolls. These are idiots who like to post rude comments in order to start an argument or a fight. If you get Trolled, just ignore it. ]

Anyhow, David, get yourself signed-up at talkphotography.co.uk/forums/ and let us know how you get on.

John

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Thank you John you always have the best ideas.

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