I am in shock

[LordKnowsImTrying]

I posted a few days ago about my bf who had emotionally checked out due to caring for a dying grandmother. Well, I found out the grandmother died 2 years ago and he’s been lying to me because he’s living with his gf of 12+ years. All I keep saying to myself is “he didn’t have to do this to ME!” It was so unnecessary. I went through so much trouble trying to make sure he was ok because I thought he was depressed. But no, he just cut me off, completely because he either got caught or was about to get caught. I have no closure, I cant sleep, haven’t been eating. And now that I know the truth…it’s all worse. The pain hasn’t really set in yet…but it’s coming. I keep seeing images of them hugging and looking happy. And I have the same kind of images. We had a relationship for well over a year, not knowing it wasn’t real. I’m broken. Really broken. I woke up from my sleep to write this because these images of him keep popping up in my mind. He didn’t have to do this to me. He really didn’t. God help me 😫😫😫😫😫

[Roxylox]

I am so sorry, what a terrible deception, and how terrible for you.

You are doing a good thing in jouralling and posting about it I think, do keep posting. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Take care.

[TangledUpIn]

What a cad. Seriously, a loser. I'm sorry😟

[Saffron_Spice]

That is awful. What mistreatment to you. You are understandably upset. I have been deceived by past men in my life & it has been hard for me to get over, especially because my coping skills & solutions weren't healthy. I highly recommend you sort this out with a therapist or confidante.

Sometimes people do inexplicable bad things to us. IT IS THEM, SO IT IS HIM NOT YOU. I hope you have ended the relationship, it is unlikely someone who can treat another that way will not change altogether. I am familiar with the grieving process for the relationship, beating myself up for not seeing the truth sooner, wondering why me & why did he treat me that way, why am I too trusting, and so on. Now you must be gentle with yourself. I hope it isn't long before your restful sleep returns, and you can look back on that experience as one where he did you very wrong & thank goodness you found out when you did so you could move on with your life. Best of luck.

Love and peace ❤✌

[LordKnowsImTrying]

You have to be a sick person to lie about caring for a grandmother who was already dead. He trashed his uncle all the time saying he never helped out. These are the things he would tell me all the time…and they were both lies.

[Weelon]

He has serious issues not you and I can guarantee you he’s not happy. Times a healer & you will be able to move on. Its going to be hard & early stages. Show him what he’s missing. Turn the hurt into drive to improving yourself. Get your hair done, have a pamper day or whatever to make yourself feel better. Find someone that really cares & who puts you first. Hope you find peace🌷

[LordKnowsImTrying in reply to Weelon]

He has ruined me for dating. I don’t want to be with anyone for a very very long time. My judgment is obviously flawed and I can’t choose the right person to save my life. I’ve been through some things but this is the absolute worst. I’ve never seen someone lie so well. Crying real tears on command. He is a sicko!

[AnxiousCanadianChic]

Wow, what an awful person he is. I bet he got caught or maybe someone else knew and told him he better end it or they’ll tell. Do you know if his gf knows what he did? If I was the gf I would want to know for sure. He’s really got problems, besides being a liar and cheater.

[Hidden]

You have closure. You know from this person's actions that they are untrustworthy and dont deserve your time or attention. I understand that its disturbing that someone could do something like this but please believe me when I say you didn’t do anything to deserve this treatment.. It reflects entirely on their bad character and nothing on you. Youre a good person for caring so much. Dont change

[Midori]

Betrayal like this is soul shattering, some men are not capable of being faithful. He has the best of both worlds.

You are better off without him and trying to establish a better relationship with a new and honest partner. You do not need a liar as a partner.

I think you are better off knowing now, than later. You know you'll never be able to trust him again.

Keep us in the loop as to what is happening.

Cheers, Midori

[LordKnowsImTrying in reply to Midori]

It’s been a struggle. I hadn’t been eating or sleeping. But I did find a life coach and had my first session yesterday and it helped me to at least realize what he did isn’t about ME. There’s something wrong with HIM, I just happened to be the victim. And it was partially my fault for not questioning the red flags. I saw them, but I accepted his explanations so that I wouldn’t rock the boat and cause him to shut down on me.

[Midori]

OK, First, Do you have joint accounts? if so change them so he can't drain them. Shared Credit card? Change it for a solo one.

Second, retain a lawyer, you may need one if he cuts up rough.

Third, Your home, is it in joint names? Can you get him off the lease? Or could you move? I worry about him having a key. If you own it change the locks.

Please don't wait to get these things done.

You need your independence back, and fast.

Cheers, Midori

[LordKnowsImTrying in reply to Midori]

We have never lived together or shared anything, we were just boyfriend and girlfriend thank goodness.

[LordKnowsImTrying]

We have never lived together or shared anything, we were just boyfriend and girlfriend thank goodness.

[Midori in reply to LordKnowsImTrying]

That's a great relief.