All My Me's Are Failures

Where can I go? When I tried making friends online years ago, all I was left with were some acquaintances who managed to make great friendships while I was left wondering what I did wrong. I tried being peppy and "fun". I tried being positive and kept my inner cynic locked up. It got me nowhere. I see those people who have made even more friends and I don't know how to do it. I've tried being myself but I'm a lonely, sad cynical person who one wants around. How many people do I have to be before someone wants to be my friend? I've been me and it didn't work, I've been a sunnier version and she wasn't well liked either. I hate all of the personas I've had and how lonely they've left me. Unlikable is what they have in common, a people repellent even. I should be studied and have my essence bottled and famous people can spay me on to keep away selfie seekers. I'd finally be of some use.

[Hidden]

Thank you so much for reading and being so kind.

[samack]

My dear, it is common to feel very sensitive going through our ordeals. I am someone that didn't care much for small talk before I was suffering, but now find it excruciatingly painful, after years of treatment resistant depression I literally am speechless. What can I talk about? The side effects of meds. I'm a pleasant, easygoing person who can now be sunny for 5 minutes tops. I might as well be invisible because that doesn't attract a fly. When I feel better I have to get back out there and face this newer reality. You are not alone.

[Surfwalker3]

I get it, I dont have friends. I thought I did but turns out they really didn't care until they had a problem and needed someone to talk to. I'm at the point where I dont care anymore, if you dont like me for the weird quirky sometimes boring person I am dont hang around. I lied I do have 1 friend who completely gets me. If you want a friend I'm here ,but the shit out of me😁

[Surfwalker3]

That's supposed to be bug the shit out of me, lol not but

[Kainan]

Hey I get you and can relate to what you say. I really admire your strength trying to make friends and trying different personas to do so. Could never do that myself. I'd like to talk to you more, if you'd like. Just a pm away, friend 👍

[Hidden in reply to Kainan]

Thank you.

[Lusyd-_-7]

I'll be your friend.😊🤗 I hope you're having a good morning 🌞

[Hidden in reply to Lusyd-_-7]

Thank you, you are very kind.

[Mrspjsmom]

I'm so sorry. Try to just be yourself again. I have always been the type of person with a few close friends. They are the people who love and accept me with all my flaws. There was a short time I tried to pretend but it was exhausting and didn't work. I'm sure you are a lovely person. Don't give up and don't blame yourself.

[Hidden in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Thanks for reading and taking the time to be kind.