how can I personally better myself

I've had this issue for years. The thing is that I havent truthfully been able to fully fix it. Im a major bitch. Im mean when I joke, and Im mean when Im not joking. Being nice feels odd because it isnt my true nature. Im truthfully a mean person. Im mean and I am also rude. Im also lonely. I hardly have 2 friends. I cant seem to keep people near me. Its hard having a friendship bc of my rude ways. I am always insecure about who I am, about my appearance and my personality. I dont date and I cant seem to find someone who actually likes who I am. What is wrong with me? What Can I do?

[chiara789]

Hmm, maybe try to write positive experiences down throughout the day so that you can program yourself to notice the positive things around you. Are you mean to others because you're also mean to yourself? Try to actively change your negative thinking. Catch yourself when you're having a negative thought and then correct it with something more positive. It definitely takes effort to reverse your negative thinking, but it will likely improve your overall wellbeing and relationships. Keeping a journal on hand may be a good encouragement to write down the thoughts you want to change.

I don't think having a "mean" sense of humor is so bad as long as you adjust it when you talk to more sensitive people. Also, you can always apologize if a joke goes too far. You can always check in with friends and say, "I'm sorry I said that. I was just kidding!!". I have a "mean" sense of humor and I usually do that when I sense that I've hurt someone feelings. Almost always, people react by saying that they know I was kidding and everything is fine.

[Hidden in reply to chiara789]

Youre right. The joke went too far but it was dumb to begin w idk why she took it to heart. Like i want to apologize but maybe ill take note of this issue in the future. Thanks honestly. Ahh i been thinking negatively about myself as well and its not good.

[chiara789 in reply to Hidden]

At least you recognize the things you have to work on. It takes time and effort, but you can change the way you think and behave. It’s a slow process, but it works.

[fauxartist]

try finding things about yourself that you like, and find what it is that has you pushing everyone away.... if it has to do with your self image or self esteem....that can be worked on with some help from a counsellor....sometimes we are caustic because we are afraid to get to close to anyone, even though we are lonely, it's harder to be in fear of being hurt.

[baileyf14]

Sometimes being nice can be hard but it is so rewarding! Kindness can solve a lot of problems. Try finding an accountability partner if you really want to be nicer. An accountability partner is someone who hold you responsible for the goal you are trying to receive. I have had to have one when I needed to push myself to study and it really helps! I hope everything gets better!