It's the first time I am posting here. Yesterday morning I tried to end my life. Was so close to jump out of a cliff in Brighton and a stranger appeared from nowhere and started talking to me. I think 2seconds later I would have been elsewhere already as I was stepping forward to jump. But I heard the voice of this man who talked me out of it when in my head my only thoughts were jump jump jump.
It's scary that I was so ready to die and end it. I am not in a good place right now and it's often hard to see the blue sky instead of the clouds.
I am sharing it because I believe things happen for a reason and a friend recommended me to share my story in forums to seek support in a different way. That stranger who started crying for me begging for my life to continue really moved me. I didn't understand why he wanted me so badly to live but seeing him crying made me come back in a way. So I grabbed his hand and walked up to the other side of the fence. There are good people in this world.
I am not sure how I am going to feel better but I suppose its time to do something about those feelings and thoughts. We never really are all alone.
Thanks for reading
Al
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Markal
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Hi Al. Shocking to read your post and hope you get the help and support you need. Good to know there's decent people put there too. I've thought about ending it at times but not gone to the point like you!I would suggest a book by Jake Tyler called "A Walk From The Wild Edge". Similar to you but turned a massive negative into a positive. All the very best and hopefully onwards & upwards.
Thanks for your reply. I will definitely check this book. Thanks for the recommendation. Hopefully you manage to overcome those thoughts?
Al
How are you feeling today ?
Have you talked to your GP, or do you have a Therapist you can talk to, you hopefully seem to be more settled today and hopefully the shock of what you were wishing to do has driven home you need help and encouragment to move on in a more positive.
What was the need that made you consider taking your own life. If this feeling happens again phone NHS Helpline on Telephone no 111 and explain how you feel. You could also try the police , they may be able to bring your mood to a more level place
I took an overdose of medications and was taken into A and E in the middle of the night, since then I have been on the level and never tried again. I had explained to me what family and frieds would feel like if I had died, all I would have done was put doubt into those people around me if they felt they had wronged me, they would never recover from their loss.
Remember you can also phone your therapist if you are alarmed or so down to make your attempt a possibility in the future.
In my case they picked me up in an ambulance and took me to hospital.
You can also walk into A and E and be seen and assesed , they can also give treatment and contact a Mental Health Department to see and help you
I am sorry to hear as well that you had to go through this. I really hope that you feeling better today?
It was a build up of hating my job (still do) emotion loneliness lockdown didnt help and recently a break up that led me to this feeling of despair. I am a little better today and friends have responded positively to my feelings.
It does make a difference knowing that we are loved.
Thanks for all the advices. I am on stress leave and waiting for a therapist. Also have some meds in case.
Wow. Seems like an angel descended upon you. That definitely means something good. Its scary to get to that level of despair. Definitely use hotlines if it happens again. You are meant to live.
Welcome to the forum I tried to end it all too also at the coast but much further north than you , that man sounds like a beautiful person , an angel sent from God this life is a struggle, I hope you have decided to struggle on now and not see suicide as an option God Bless
I decided that suicide wasn't an option also I am not depressed like I was then , are you feeling better ?I was deranged through lack of sleep and had other issues - health issues that have been resolved now , I have long covid now but I am coping with it ,
Hope you are feeling better - life is tough but it's not forever
Just been reading your back story - has your IBS cleared up ? I have been having gastro issues with long covid lying on your left side for a long time can bring relief , I have been having bicarbonate of soda bc long covid seems to thrive on and cause acidity bicarbonate of soda counters acidity
I know it sounds crazy, but walking has helped me in many different occasions. I am not saying it will make it all better, but it can be a start…. 20min. - 5 times a week or whenever you need some fresh air. I hope you the best. Life changes and it will change for the best for you….. for now, you need to remind yourself that you are strong and can do it.
A bit of too much for too long. Depressing job, pandemic with the feeling of loneliness and isolation, lack of friends and support and more recently a break up drove me over the edge. The combination of all just put me in that state of mind. I have high anxiety those days and it had never been as high before.
I thought that stop it all would just allow me to not feel all this. I still think that but I don't want to take action.
I can understand that. We come here to help others out. I have cPTSD, amongst other things,So I'm used to the terror when the phone rings or someone comes up behind me unheard! Gives me the screaming abdabs!
The pandemic has a great deal to answer for, Isolation, well, I moved house to Wales, and almost immediately we went into lockdown! 18 months of my life I won't get back! Maybe now I can go out again I can finally find my way around this new town!
At one time I was very tempted to streak wearing just a mask, but I thought better of it. Nobody wants to see a mad old lady walking with a rollator in the buff!
Glad that person came to talk to you - and save you. I don't know what you are going through - but there is Hope. God has a plan for your life - despite the struggles you are facing. The truth is - we all struggle in this life. Just some are better at hiding it. The best place to go for help is first to Prayer. Ask God to show you a path forward. Second, find a Pastor who can listen to you and Pray over you also. Read scriptures in the Bible like this:
Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Prayers for you! You are a unique and special person. Find out how much God loves you! Seek him with all your heart! There is a lifetime of learning ahead!
hi glad your here to tell your story although it`s sad but a story of hope and that it`s just not your time.it may feel like a long road ahead just now but getting good support around you and hopefully you can live a happier life.hopefully you can get a chance to thank the man he done a great job in helping you.
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I just want this to end
I don't want to reach rock bottom because it might be my end
I just want it all to stop
Tonight I heard my mum say I should end it all. (venting)
