If you're a woman, how do you deal with people saying you're bossy when you're honestly not trying to be that way????

I get this attitude towards me sometimes, and I don't know what to think or what I'm exactly doing. I am the oldest or first born of 3 girls. I had to be responsible since I was a little kid. When I got older sometimes if my parents were going somewhere I had to look out for my two younger sisters. It isn't easy in a lot of ways being the oldest first born child. Your parents learn off of you how to better parent the rest of the children. I suppose being a child in the middle or the youngest can have it's own challenges too, From my point of view, I think being the first born is the toughest. I always sort of wished I had an older brother who would protect me when other kids picked on me. In a lot of ways, I had to fend for myself. So, what do you think and what has been your experience in the families all of you are from??? Let's open this up for discussion and as a way we can get to know each other better on here. And I'm not saying that to be bossy!!! As Beyonce would say, I'm not bossy, I'm the boss!!!🙂

[Laurennnnnnn]

I don’t share your experience (I’m an only child lol) but as a teacher, I see a lottttt of oldest siblings (mainly girls) become labeled as “bossy”. Like you said, you end up responsible for a lot and are kind of a test drive for your parents lol so I’m sure you were raised differently than your siblings- even if your parents didn’t realize they were doing it.

As for the bossiness- I’m jealous!!! Like you said, you’re not bossy you’re a boss! That shows you have drive and confidence, and those are incredibly important attributes- especially for girls. You have the personality of a leader. And that’s just threatening to people, which is their problem 💁🏼‍♀️

One of my personal development goals lately has been to be less submissive and more of a boss. So you need to just keep being you 👏👏👏

[Hidden in reply to Laurennnnnnn]

Well thank you, what a cool response!!! I thought probably some dude was going to come on here and tell me why he doesn't like bossy women or something, blah, blah, blah, . This really doesn't mean much, but I happen to be a Leo too, my birthday is coming up on August 22. I'm trying to throw some kind of the- hell- with - this - pandemic birthday party, but it's toward the end of August and other people want to do their summer vacationing and back to school stuff so I don't have much of an idea who might come to it. Actually if you follow astrology I was born on the cusp, so I have qualities of a Leo and a Virgo. Which are total opposites!!!! Leo's are leaders who rule and Virgos are supposed to be shy and sensitive, so I am completely unpredictable, you just never know which version of me your going to get!!! Yes I know I'm just chatting away on here, I'm really bored, I was going to apply for a part time job but I'm not even sure I want to go for it. I really want some kind of career at the age I'm at but I happen to have bipolar disorder and I'm on SSD and my life feels like I have no direction at this point. My mom has a Teaching degree and in the past she's worked as a teacher. I think teachers have it rough and they SHOULD get paid way more than they do, at least the nice ones who really make an effort to get the kids to learn something. I wouldn't do well being a teacher, I would not have the patience!!! I guess I would just be too bossy. Thank you so much!!!🙂

[Laurennnnnnn in reply to Hidden]

I love the birthday party idea!! And that’s so interesting that you’re opposite signs.

What type of part time job are you considering? I’m sure there’s direction in your life, even I’d it isn’t obvious right now. There’s something cool out there for you.

That is so sweet of you, thank you! 💙

[Hidden in reply to Laurennnnnnn]

Well, I have really fallen on hard times. I used to have my own apartment and car for a long time, I had a section 8 voucher that helped me with the apartment. However, I have fallen through the cracks of the system. I wasn't evicted from my apartment or anything like that, but I had some issues between me and the apartment managers and landlord. And about 3 years ago I got into a really bad car accident where I am lucky I wasn't seriously hurt but my car was totalled. I am living with my senior citizen parents these days or else I'd be completely homeless, but let's face it, they don't really want me back in their house, I feel like my dad really can't stand me. My mom does love me and it's because of her that I'm here, but she can be moody too. I have worked before at other part time jobs, but I am tired of working minimum wage part time work. I have a high school diploma and I've taken a big variety of courses at two different community colleges and really I'm close to being able to get an associate's degree in liberal arts. Will that really get me anywhere??? Probably not, however I still think that some type of college degree is better than none at all. I just have trouble dealing with lots of stress, I want to work but it's very difficult for me to work full time, part time is easier on me. Of course, it also pays way less. So that's my story.

[sweetiepye in reply to Hidden]

I think I am probably of the same generation as your parents. I have heard that as a generation we have been more successful than our parents, but our children have not been as successful as we are . This is true for me and a lot of people I know. I think it is a societal problem, not an individual problem. There are many people who are one car accident away from being homeless. I don't have a solution for you , but a reason for you to stop feeling guilty about your situation. If they are able I think your parents should help you any way they can. Family's need to take care of each other. You'll do better with a four year degree .Talk to your Dad.

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

Hello, I appreciate your concern. The way my Dad is, I can't really talk to him, it always seems to end up in an argument. My mom is way more understanding than my Dad. And Laurennn actually happens to be much younger than me, I believe she mentioned she's 27. I know that because of my nickname on here, some people assume I must be a lot younger than I actually am. The Goo Goo Dolls is the name of a popular pop rock band who have some great songs, however the guy who is the lead singer actually happens to be only a couple years older than me now, and he's married and has a daughter. I am actually a single woman who is 50 years old, and I've never had children or an abortion either. I have been engaged twice and I've been with the guy I was engaged to the second time for over 15 years so in a lot of ways it's been like a marriage, however he has a physical disability now and he has it very rough himself. My dad won't tell me much about his finances but I don't think my parents have that much money to even try to help me with college anymore and they are concerned about their retirement and I understand that. I do pay them rent money to stay with them, and I pay my own phone bill.

[sweetiepye in reply to Hidden]

I am 74 and I know who the Googoodolls are. Just say'n .

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

Okay, great!!!🙂. My mom happens to be 78 but she's more lost into the music of her generation that she likes to play. Like the Beatles and Elvis Presley, and sometimes she really likes classical music a lot and I like some of it, but sometimes she wants to play that in her car when she's driving and I feel like she's putting me to sleep! My mom is all right in a lot of ways, it's my Dad who's really grumpy and rather mean sometimes.

[Rafiki11]

Yes. I’m not bossy. I’m a boss!

A lot of people try to take the bossy out of people so they can control them. As long as you’re not trying to control others, be bossy!

[Hidden in reply to Rafiki11]

Haha!!! Well one of my all time favorite songs happens to be Janet Jackson's song Control!!!! I took dance lessons when I was much younger and I wasn't overweight like I am now and I used to dance around my parents basement by myself with no one watching me. I didn't want to dance around with guys, forget that. I am like, I am coming through, and I OWN this stage, clear the way for me!!! I am going to play that song on here, forget the music video, I just like the song. Please stand by........

[Hidden]

Okay, here's a blast from the past!!!! This is the song Control by Janet Jackson, and I STILL have this record album!!! youtu.be/FMuoowyCkUU(Not working as expected?)

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Just go to YouTube and look it up if it won't play on here!!!