My son has suffered from anxiety\depression since he was in the 4th grade. I dont think he has never been honest with therapists, or us for that matter, whenever me and his mother would meet with therapist and relay behaviors, they would seem surprised and confused. He graduated HS this spring and now I have found empty beer cans under his bed, vapes with thc, and I know he smokes pot when out with his friends. I think he is getting worse, has always been isolationist. Me and my wife are meeting with psychiatrist to talk about possible bi-polar disorder tomorrow. Does anyone have any experience with this? Can depression\anxiety morph into other mental illnesses?
I feel like I am failing my son! any advice is appreciated
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cheesedad
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So I am confused. What you have described sounds like normal teen behavior. I did that stuff when I was his age, and I know many others who have done so as well. The behavior you have described does not sound like depression or anxiety. Even the lying to you part is pretty standard for a teen. So I am confused as to why you think he is getting worse. And I am also confused as to what behavior is signalling anxiety or depression?
What? Are you saying the the teen lying isn't normal? Because I would say that it's very much expected. Kids lie to their parents all the time about a whole host of things, even into adulthood.
my brother lied to my mom and stuff but i do not lie so i do not think the lying and everything is narmal, cause of the stress, depression and anxiety, and these stuff she is saying is true but it is not narmal i am a teenager and i feel her but i do not lie and everything so this is not narmal , but i am a girl, not a dog
Okay, but I would say you are the exception and not the rule. I know far more people who lie on a regular basis than not. Even in normal conversation most people tell white lies or skew the truth to their favor. This is how we talk. Now for really important events or circumstances it is rare to find someone who will constantly lie, they exist but usually have a problem. But yeah most kids lie to their parents. If you getting high the last thing you are going to do is tell your parents, at least in my experience.
i know better then everyone does and i know in fact i am both a ruler and a exception i know for the fact that lying is not okay, it is not easy to lie to someone even in events , you know,
So first off, you do not just know better than everyone. And second, your belief that lying is not okay is simply your own belief. That does not mean it is held by everyone else, nor is it practiced by everyone. Some people actually think lying in certain cases is preferable than telling the truth. Such as a parent saying that a kids pet has moved to a farm instead of telling them the pet died. It is every easy to lie and as I already pointed out people do it all the time.
Mydog56 has a point, I taught my kids never to lie to me & they haven't as I'm the only caring parent they have & after their mom walked out on us we had to rely on each other & I always told my kids always tell me the truth & if I got a problem with the truth then its on me not them. My kids haven't hid anything from me & long may it continue.
Also if you find lying acceptable & expect ur kids to lie to you , when will you start to believe them ?
Kids are products of their surroundings & if the adults around them lie then they will too.
That is all fine. I get that as well. Some people do have great relationships with their parents and that is wonderful. I am glad you have that kind of relationship with your family. However, we don't always say everything all the time. Sometimes we don't want to talk, lies of omission. Other times we simply don't want the other person to feel bad. My point isn't that lying is the greatest thing or to even say it's completely acceptable. My point is simply that it happens and that is not unusual. I gave clear examples above, parents lie to their kids all the time. Maybe it's that they don't tell them how hard they are struggling because they don't want to burden them. It doesn't have to be lying because of ill intent it's still a lie. And kids do the same thing. It's rare that a kid will walk right up to their parent and go I just had sex and drank a whole fifth of vodka. That is not the norm at all. Is it a deceitful and hurtful lie. Depends how you look at things. But none the less it is a lie. And that is my point. The above post mentioned lying but nothing concrete only that their child, who is presumably 18 or so as they mentioned he just finished school, didn't tell them about vaping, drinking, and smoking. Which again is pretty standard for a kid not to want to tell their parent. So I firmly stand by every word I have written in that it's normal for people to have secrets even from their parents and unless the person is lying about stealing money or something serious of this nature I personally don't see this as an alarm for mental illness such as bipolar or depression. Now we can have a philosophical debate about whether lying is always good or always bad, that point is irrelevant for what I am trying to say though. which is at the end of the day the above behavior described is pretty standard across the board and not a cause for immediate concern.
I see what you mean & thank you for enlightening me as to what you mean, I am a believer that once we accept our way of seeing & doing things is completely different to those who don't suffer from the issues we do in this group then that is half the battle & I know it's not always possible but not everyone has a good family situation or even have family at all & they must rely on themselves to get better & we only do that by learning about ourselves & our triggers . When I had my waking moment & started to understand what was wrong & how to work on it I kept my kids informed & I still do as I grew up in a 1 parent family since the age of 4 as my mom died & by 17 I was an orphan but since my father raised us he made sure that we stuck together & remained strong & my siblings & I have a good strong bond & as I saw it work I used it too. Anyway from a young age I had major abandonment issues & due to certain women including my ex wife I have trust issues too. But I wake up every morning & work on me by doing my mantra & I'm set for the day. We need to work on ourselves & it's far easier with a family that has ur back & I've never hidden my issues from my siblings either but they saw how bad I was & told me I need to be cool but until the light bulb in my head went off it made no difference & now I tell my kids to be mindful of their own wellbeing too as I know they have abandonment issues due to their mother. I agree that some people think that somethings are OK to hide from their families but why do these same people trust their peers before their family when their family SHOULD back them to the hilt. I was lucky as our dad raised us to be a family unit & over 30 years later after his passing we still just as close as its how we were raised.
Now I don't know if you have kids & since I do , I can say that I would physically walk to hell & back for my kids & face any danger & thats simply cuz its what true loving parents do.
I am glad you were able to group up with such a strong family support. You are right it does help when you have someone you can rely on to help you get through the tough times. I myself have never known this. I grew up in an incredibly abusive and toxic environment. My father preferred to drink and beat on all of us and my mother was emotionally abusive. I was emotionally neglected the majority of my life which has impacted a great number of things for me since. My sister has also been nothing but abusive to me and has betrayed me so deeply that I can never forgive her for what she has done. So I come from the opposite background where I had no one to rely on and I had to fight tooth and nail for everything I have ever had. I am glad you were able to treat your kids well and that your family is very supportive and nurturing.
Now as to why people don't want to talk to their parents about certain issues, well simply put some things are just uncomfortable. For the most part, talking about drugs, sex, or anything of this nature is off limits for most people. Or at least that is how it's understood. And honestly sometimes it's easier to just talk to a friend, there isn't a fear of letting anyone down or having to adhere to a false sense of self to make the parent happy. When you talk to a best friend or a romantic partner you can, for the most part, be authentically yourself. Which means you are more willing to be vulnerable and actually talk about those deeply personal things. It's not a matter of you should trust family more than a best friend or a love interest or vice versa. Its more that you find someone in life who you can feel comfortable enough to be completely open with and go from there. That is my view on it. But Again, I come from a background where my chosen family will always be better than my blood relatives.
I do not have kids of my own but I did for a time raise 3 boys. And I did instill the proper values in them. In fact, I am pretty sure I am the only stable father figure those boys have ever had. But I know what you mean. I would die for each of those boys as well.
I had to laugh when I read the talk about sex well my dad was from India but came to England in the 1950s . In the 80s when I was in high school we had already done sex ed at school by 9th grade & about a year later my dad tried to give me the talk & I always thought of him as strict but that changed the way I saw him but it was still an awkward conversation.
I'm sorry you didn't get the support that every child should have from loving parents & it angers me that people have children but then they abuse them & it's the mental abuse that's the hardest to deal with as it's been inflicted by the very people that should've supported you throughout & it's a shame that ur sister decided to become ur parents too by betraying you & thinking about it if my family never supported me I know now that I wouldn't have been able to survive that pain & done something wrong to myself.
HOWEVER , those 3 boys you were a father figure to proves that ur everything ur parents never were , a supportive parent & gave those kids love & I hope they still in touch with u , if not now they will search for you in the future & no matter how long you were in their lives if you showed them just how to be kids enjoying their childhood then they will still remember you & the memories you all made. If you chose to ever have kids be it ur own, Foster or adopt , u know u have what it takes to be a true parent & in years to come u can look back & remember u were never like ur parents & most of the time we do end up having similar traits as our parents do.
Thank you for the kind words friend. I really do appreciate that. I do my best to better myself and to help those I love because I was never shown that kindness and I don't want people to suffer like I had too. I will say now that if you would like to continue a conversation at any time please feel free to PM me. I want to end things here as I don't want this post to become about our discussion. Again, thank you for the kind words and please feel free to chat with me at any time. Take care.
I finished raising them years ago they both in their 20s , eldest is in her own home with boyfriend & youngest lives with me & takes care of me & she too has a boyfriend & I want them to live their lives & they already know daddy's got their back.
I agree with you and have raised my own teens to respect the truth. I don't believe that telling a lie is sometimes ok to spare the victim the pain of the truth. The truth is how we learn and grow. How can a child grow and mature if their world is filled with lies and fiction?
Endofheartache, mydog56, DodgeDhanda… what Cheesedad started with was a boy in 4th grade, 9 or 10 years old was showing signs of depression. He now is graduated, age 17-18. In a positive, supportive home, lying is not normal. I taught and tutored kids of all ages, especially 12-18. Going to a therapist is terrifying for a child. Depending on the therapy style and if there is medication in the picture during developmental years it can become engrained in his identity as feeling broken and different from his peers. Little white lies may be more normal for the age group, but these sound much more significant.
The smoking and drinking is self-medicating to bury some emotion he does not want to face. It is the therapist’s job to dig back into the 9 year old’s memories and figure out if there was an event at the start.
Teens do not want to be different than their peers, so even in the safety of the therapist’s office, it may seem to risky to share honestly. When he turns 18, though, his parents won’t have the right to talk to the doctor any more.
Cheesydad, don’t look at those individual negative behaviors. This goes deeper. They are there to help him avoid facing a troubling history. It does not sound like bipolar. I agree with that. But he is not happy nor coping with life appropriately. You have to dig into his earlier years, first.
Best of luck. Be strong. Be non-judge mental. If he gets more upset, you get quieter and more supportive.
So there are a lot of assumptions you just made. First, off I asked for clarification as to what behaviors were considered abnormal because, and I cannot stress this enough, lying is not uncommon or unusual. If you expect people to be 100% honest about every little detailed thing at any given time you are either a fool or delusional about how people function. This in no way implies lying is good. This does not mean I am advocating for it. I am simply stating a fact of life. Kids lie. Parents lie. Everyone at some point or another lies. That doesn't make a person mentally ill. It makes them a human being.
Now as for the drinking and smoking, what makes you believe there is some deep seated issue that makes a teen drink. You said it yourself sometimes peer pressure wins out and people don't want to feel left out. You made a whole host of assumptions stating that this person is unhappy and not coping with life well when all we have been told is that he is drinking, not even daily as only a few beer cans were mentioned not a whole saloon, smoking, and vaping. None of which is abnormal for a person that age. There are plenty of people who drink because they enjoy it and don't have issues. There are plenty of people who smoke for the same reasons. Why on earth should we just to a conclusion of this person is miserable or not coping with life when there have been no behaviors provided that prove otherwise? Like not all people who smoke and drink are self medicating.
Like honestly the post said that the only thing they were aware of was that this kid was not telling his parents or his therapist the whole truth of things. Something you even pointed out is actually common. And on top of that the only behaviors that have been stated are that he drinks occasionally and gets high. Where is the evidence for more severe issues or trauma? Where is the evidence for even severe panic or depression? As far as I know even people who are not depressed can lie and drink and get high. So where is the behavior that is alarming? Show it to me.
This is why in my initial response I asked for more information and stated I was confused because based on what is given there is not enough information to say that this person is suffering from anything unless we make some huge assumptions about things. Even then the parents here could be assessing the situation wrong. They said their son is "isolationist" but what does this mean? Maybe he is just introverted. That doesn't mean he has a problem he just doesn't like to be around a lot of people and that is totally okay. Back to the point none of us can know. So this is all just pointless conjecture without evidence based on assumptions we make. Which again, is why we need more information. All we know are the facts, lying is something everyone does. Again, if you don't believe this you are either a fool or delusional. This doesn't mean that I am only talking about huge lies like say getting someone pregnant and not telling your family that. I am speaking in general here. You may ask your spouse of ten years if they took out the trash. They may reply yes. That yes may be a lie. Is it a huge lie? No. Is it going to bring down the world around them? No. Is it a lie, yes. Lying is super common we all do it and if you claim you don't you are a lying about that. We know that drinking and smoking are also common for the age group. And if all of this is common or dare I say NORMAL for his age group again, without more information, I ask where is the alarming behavior?
I appreciate your perspective. I agree we were not working with a full description. I disagree that drinking and smoking are normal teen behaviors. Perhaps we have different experiences, that is fine. The severity of the lies would determine more about his comfort with his family. My friends did not drink, smoke, nor lie…other than the little lies I mentioned. I have 20 years in the education field and early use of smoking and drinking is regularly an indicator of some psychological trauma. It may explain the “isolationist “ behaviors, also. Again, we started with a 9 year old being diagnosed. We then hear that after graduation, they see “empty beer cans under his bed” and know he, “vapes with thc, and I know he smokes pot when out with his friends.” Those are self soothing behaviors for that age…for any age.
After 10 years of feeling different, of feeling broken enough to see a therapist instead of hanging out with buddies, he still does not seem to be comfortable with himself. Being introverted is different than avoiding social settings, but we don’t know his motivation. We don’t know if he is excited to be out in the working world or looking at college. Both of which can be a trigger for heightened depression.
I have 2 cousins, adults now, but had I known what to look for when they were 18, maybe they would not be lost to depression, would not have almost died from drugs, and would not be living a life of isolated suffering.
Yes, I have both a scientific background and personal background to draw from. Early intervention does help. One field of psychology is all about digging out the childhood trauma to face it head on. A different field, focuses on the coping mechanisms, regardless of the trauma. Avoiding the tough conversation in the therapist office worries me. There is unfinished business.
The post is from a concerned parent seeing a change in behaviors. I did make assumptions based on my experiences. You are free to make yours. I never recommend turning a blind eye when your gut tells you something is off.
So I agree not turning a blind eye. That is fine. However, drinking, getting high, and vaping are all exceptionally normal teen behaviors. We are talking about an 18 year old and not a 12 year old. I know you have your experiences but there is a whole host of sociological surveys and data that show that teens do drugs and drink. In case you have forgotten there was a whole government sponsored program built around curbing this because it's so common. It was called the D.A.R.E program. So while your friends may not drink or do drugs there are millions of other who absolutely do. Literally spring break is predicated on young adults drinking and having sex. That age range is 18-25 year olds. The age group the person we are talking about is in. Again, it's all very standard behavior. It would be different if they were finding empty bottles of vodka all over the place. Then we could say that is excessive, but a few beer cans? If you are willing to make the leap that there is some severe psychological issue from a few beer can's and a THC vape well then I don't know what to say to you because that is extremely excessive in my book. And not only by a little bit but like a substantial margin of extreme over reaction. Also you are making leaps again. They said they recently found the THC vape and know he currently smokes with his friends. We have no proof or evidence otherwise that this has been going on since he was say 14 years old. And even if it was that is still not proof of severe psychological trauma. For as much as you use your anecdotal evidence to support you I can use mine to support my claims. So it's safe to say all that is irrelevant. Now excluding personal value you have to ask, is it normal for a teen to try and get high. The answer is yes. Again, we had a whole government sponsored program dedicated to this in the 90's. It is a thing that happens. Just because you don't like it doesn't change the facts.
Again, the last part of your post is all conjecture on your part. You have absolutely no evidence to go off of other than your "gut" feeling and your dislike of this behavior, which if I may be frank, seems to be skewing your view of things quite a bit. Now I don't like smoking either. I have my own issues with it. I don't like lying either. But just because I don't like it doesn't mean I get to deny that it's really common and happens all the time. In fact I would be willing to wager that your closest friends have secrets they have kept from you or they have lied about events in one way or another. They may not be big lies but they are lies nonetheless. Now you are correct that the severity of the lies would give us a better indication of what is happening. But we don't have a good picture of that either. So again, these are more assumptions on your part. Which get us no where because you are more discussing what you are making up to be the problem instead of accessing if there is actually a problem. Again, people do drugs because they are bored sometimes. People do dumb things. Teen's especially. That is literally the whole reason why we educate and teach because teens and kids do dumb things. Like that is literally the cornerstone of parenting. I just don't know how to express that any clearer. And the last point here is in regards to the "isolationist behavior". Yes introvert doesn't mean you are socially awkward or anything but it does in fact mean you will be spending way more time alone recharging than out with people. The psychological evidence for this is quite cut and dry there is no disputing this fact. So while he may not be socially awkward or he may not have difficulty taking he could very well be an introvert who needs a lot of time to recharge after social events. But again, I point out you are assuming he isn't spending time with his friends when even in the original post it says he gets high with his friends. That is being social so we don't even have a clear picture of what they mean by isolationist because we have contradictory evidence. And everything you have stated that is what you see is literally fantasy you have created based on your own values and your own desires. I am not saying anything either way because there is no evidence to support either way. The behaviors are normal as far as I am concerned and so I see no cause for concern. But again, could there be an issue sure. Could I make that claim on any solid proof or evidence. Absolutely not. And neither can you.
And for reference to the anecdotal evidence of your cousins. I know A female right now who is getting started in the cannabis business and she is an avid smoker. You know what else she is doing? She is in a very healthy committed relationship. She just graduated with her masters in linguistics. She has a very happy fulfilling life with no signs of severe trauma or issues otherwise. She smokes because she likes it. I have another friend who drinks and gets high. He is currently getting a Phd in physics and is working for a company making around 60k a year. Far from damaged and broken. I have another friend who just got a BS in engineering and you guessed it he drinks a whole lot and used to get high all the time but does not anymore because he works for the government now. Again, you keep saying it's definitely a sign but that is your value judgement against drinking and smoking. Just because a person does it doesn't mean they are running from trauma.
Thank you for that info. I agree we dont have all the evidence. I was talking about the parent's gut feelings, not mine. Yes, I know there are recreational users. If the parents noticed a change at age 9, then that may be worth exploring. DARE may have provided statistics, but over all was not a successful program. As far as what is normal then behavior, because we have different life experiences we will have to agree to disagree.
That is fair. The only thing I will add is I didn't bring up DARE to say it was effective. It did the exact opposite of what it was meant to do. The program was a colossal failure. My point was to demonstrate that we have recognized, even as a country, for some time, that teens do experiment with drugs and drinking. Again, regardless of belief, it is a fact. I apologize for misunderstanding your point about gut feelings. That was my mistake.
Part of talking it out is "I think my son has anxiety/depression and here's why: ____________"
I have both and I can lay out my symptoms for you in detail. To a lesser degree, so could other people who know me, but they might also notice symptoms in my behavior that I'm not aware of. The point is that it's possible to assume someone has this or that ailment while the symptoms -- in their totality -- might indicate something else that could be missed while chasing the wrong cure and while the rest of us are giving the wrong advice.
i think what you said is true, he does , have depression and anxiety, it is not narmal for teenagers, i am one of a teenager too, but i do not smoke and i do not do these things, i feel like lying is not okay and he should not feel unsafe with talking about it to you or his family and his therapist , your doing the right thing, i am talking to my therapist , cause i have lots in my mind , and he might have that too since he has all of these bad things happening, the smoking and lying i feel is like unsafe and i feel like , he should never smoke and lie to you or his family that is not fun , i am 16 right how, and i do not do those things, now him , he might need my first book on how to release feelings and hurt and all of that stuff, it feels not narmal to me i have been going through a tough time and we all do cause of covid 19 and if it was not well we all would not have people died and we might feel these stuff without covid too, did he have a covid test? or did he have a depression check up? i feel like he needs to talk about the stuff he is going through, that is what i would tell any kid any baby when they are young any teenager that too, it is not just me that is not having a tough time and a tough life but sometimes we might get a good one without lying i never lie, but i am a teenager and like i said i know what he is going through i have been through lots and have been talking to a thereapist and then be done cause i felt narmal but then i am starting again cause my mind and everything is not narmal it is thinking about lots of things so i would think he should talk about all of this to you or a family or a thereapist , i am a girl , so i feel like i cry sometimes when i talk to a thereapist you should see how he feels? maybe he feels not great or he is sad? or maybe he has lots in his mind, i know i am going through pretty much lots of things and i know he will too, keep pming me and keep texting me if something ever comes up please,
my grandpa passed away, and it has been too hard, get him to drink water once a awhile that will heal some of the stress, too if he has some
Hi CD as a dad too , I'm not really fused about the pot as I was about his age when I tried it & smoked it for a few years , same with the drink too but in my 30s I gave up smoking cigarettes as my lung collapsed & I thought whilst I was in hospital for 3 weeks I hadn't had a single smoke so I gave it up there & then & I gave up the drinking about 11 years ago as I started taking morphine for pain & they don't mix & yes I did ask my doctor if I could still drink. Ok personally I'm more alarmed by the lying as I'm sure u & ur wife raised him not to lie & he could talk to U both about anything.
Have you had a family meeting with everyone in the house if it's more than the 3 of you or just you 3 & talk it out & smoking the weed may help his brain calm down & until he is diagnosed correctly allow him to do smoke a small amount at home only in the back yard maybe as its better he does it in front of you than do it away from you & let's be honest if he at a party there will most likely be class A drugs too. Another question where u live is weed legal ?
Before you see the psychiatrist write down any & all question you want answered & as a professional they should know the answer or ur own doctor should be able to help you more.
I wish you all the best of luck in getting to the bottom of what is going on.
Is he your only kid? Have you and his mother been to family therapy with him?
In my experience it’s normal for kids to lie and/or hide things from their parents. That being said my siblings both lied or mislead their therapists and my parents about their mental health. My parents were not a safe space for any of us to be transparent about what we were going through. It wasn’t until my sister was hospitalized for mania that she started being more honest with herself and her care team. She thought she was so good a “pretending” as she put it. She was in denial about being ill and thought if she could pretend everything would be fine.
Family therapy and family mental health education later in life helped create a safer space for her to be honest with our parents about what she was dealing with.
62 year old guy here . Married 41 years, dad of 2 nurses and a grandpa. Also owned and ran 2 businesses for 35 years. Retired 5 months ago see profile on life changing surgery. This is the age old question, depression and anxiety. You can have one or the other and not both, or you can have both. I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks since 1993. But I was maybe kind of like your son since age 5 . I had anxiety, I was painfully shy . My grandpa had 9 grandsons and he always asked me why I was so quiet compared to the other kids. He said I must be the strong silent type. I was self medicating my whole life with extreme cardio exercise daily. This helps produce endorphins that battle anxiety and depression. I was a little kid playing hockey and football and baseball for hours on end to make myself feel better. I ended up in the emergency room 3 times in 3 months in 1993 when I was 32. I was working 60-80 hours a week and lacked sleep and exercise. I guess that was the age mine came to a head . They tried me on every antidepressant made back then one at a time in different doses. Because I don’t have depression it makes me feel worse. They put me on a beta blocker and klonopin and I still take it. I have tried a couple of the newer antidepressants and gabapentine the past few years only to fail for the 25 th time. The bottom line is my pills last 6-8 hours. My 45 minutes on the excercise bike lasts all day. Get your son to try daily cardio exercise till he is sweating good. As far as beer and pot no parents like that. But I did it myself too and never got carried away. The drs know more than me. But all the people who excercise today most are doing it for thier sanity not vanity
Vaping THC, drinking, etc is most definitely not normal behavior. Those are dangerous gateway drugs. I hope very much you help your son straighten out before his dangerous behavior becomes a slippery slope. It's all too easy to go from beer and getting high off vaping THC to hard drugs. Nip this in the bud before he falls down that destructive path!🙏
Hi CD,I was exactly like your son except I was not diagnosed til I was an adult. I had anxiety and depression in grade school due to traumatic and unstable home environment (not saying that's your situation).
Your son may be self medicating. I drank a lot in high school and got addicted to marijuana when I was 18. It was the only thing that made me feel better,until I couldn't get any. Marijuana was not as ubiquitous as it is now.
In my experience, feeling like you cannot confide in your parents leads you to lie and avoid discussing your problems with them. I would start here in family therapy. You will need to put your time in too.
And yes, untreated anxiety and depression can lead to worse conditions like bi-polar etc. It's important you get the right help ASAP.
It's possible your son is not comfortable sharing with this particular therapist or they're just not a good match. Maybe he needs a change.
In any event, if you want to help your son you will need to work on trust issues first. Family therapy is the way to go. You will be able to add a different perspective for the therapist and your son to consider. You will also get to know your son better.
I hope this helps and I wish you and your son the best.
Resposes to your posts have veered off a bit. PM me if you want to chat. Briefly, my son has suffered anxiety since childhood. I've had anxiety all my life. Childhood and teen years were awful. My son was never open about the anxiety or depression. Not to me or the many therapists I took him to. I had horrible anxiety as a child. I never opened up about it. I had great parents and was an excellent student. I was simply full of anxiety. I wanted (just as my son did) to be social, but was just seen as shy. I discovered alcohol as a teen and found I was suddenly comfortable with everybody. So I self medicated. I'm not an alcoholic. I was a desperate kid. I did lie to my parents about this. Had nothing to do with their parenting. I'm curious as to why bipolar is suspected for your son. My grown son now has that diagnosis, but recently discovered it's probably Asperger's aka autism spectrum. Turns out I have bipolar, but didn't manifest until my 40's. I'm quite stable on meds and have been for years. It was really impossible to tell if my son had, or even has, bipolar disorder. Diagnosis is tricky. Sounds like your son is self medicating and doesn't feel comfortable opening up about his anxiety or depression. This makes sense to me. Don't feel you're failing your son. You aren't. PM me if you you'd like to chat. Glad you posted. Glad you're getting help with a psychiatrist. Take care. ❤️
The definition of "normal" changes from person to person, likewise with things like values, perspective, experience and SO much more.
By society's standards (at least in the US) it is quite normal for High School seniors to smoke pot (where does he even get a THC vape??) and lie occasionally, even to their parents.
I really did not take this post seriously but seeing the arguments over perspective makes it amusing. I'm so glad I'm wise enough to know I don't know everything.
Normal is relative, this can be backed by empirical evidence. Opinions are not factual and I would question the validity and quality of health in a home for a kid whose dad goes to an anonymous forum looking for advice while offering such broad strokes.
From my understanding I never heard of anxiety/depression developing into bi-polar. Why would you think this? Many people with anxiety disorders smoke pot to feel calmer.Did your son suffer some traumatic incident in 4th grade to cause the beginning of his anxiety symptoms?
You mention he is getting worse, in what way?
I hope you communication with your son improves. Does he feel safe and loved by you? Does he trust you?
Sorry for all of the questions. I dont think you are failing your son. You obviously are seeking help for him. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Personally, I have recently learned to go to God and ask for His wisdom. 🙏💗God bless you and your family.🤗
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Not sure what to do anymore
Idk what to do anymore
What to do and not get yelled at
Idk what to do anymore..
What do I do?
