At least in the US where I live, things have basically gone back to the way things were before the pandemic. Restaurants and bars are open, you don't have to wear a mask if vaccinated everywhere you go, I even went to a MLB game recently and went on vacation to Florida and saw an old friend. Places still aren't as busy as they were and things aren't 100% the same, but I thought I would feel like I had a life again that I can go out and do things finally... but I don't.
I'm bored to death with my life and feel so lonely. I'm working remotely full-time now so I don't see people everyday and don't have many friends left. Most of the people I hung out with before the pandemic kind of broke off into their own groups and we don't talk anymore, which they weren't really that good of friends to begin with. Even when I've hung out with the few people that I have, I'm usually thinking I'd be more comfortable just sitting on my couch watching TV cause the conversation and going out for drinks doesn't fulfill me anymore. I just can't seem to connect to anyone or anything anymore. I've even tried keeping busy doing things to improve my yard, creating a photo book for my mom, which was a big project, going to my nephew's baseball games (which are ending this week), etc., but I'm still just bored and feel like I'm going through the motions every day. Any advice on how to feel like I'm living a life worth living now that I'm not restricted anymore?
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Indiegal
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My most heartfelt sympathies, I can appreciate how this must be. The Covid pandemic has changed very little for me, I'm always stuck at home, I very rarely ever see another living soul and if I do it's only for a few minutes... in a lot of ways I have grown somewhat comfortable with being something of a hermit.
I'm grateful for social media or platforms like this that allow me to have some kind of contact with other people. I understand how this alone would not always be fulfilling enough, however. I'm not sure how 'normal' people make new friends but if this much of an absence was enough to pull you away from the ones you had, perhaps you could try different things in search of different friends? Perhaps you've just grown away from the going out for drinks crowd in spirit.
I wish I had some better ideas for you, though I don't know what you'd consider fun so... yeah 🙂
Maybe there's something you've been interested in but never tried? Now would be as good a time as any to try and broaden your horizons. I wish you the best of luck in finding a place in life where you feel more fulfilled.
Thanks for your note EndUser13. I think the hard thing is I've kind of grown older in the last several years and don't know what I'm into anymore. I always liked going out and doing fun, adventurous things with groups of people and I still want to do those things. But I've gained weight and have had some back problems so I'm not able to do all the things I want to do. I've tried to lose weight and be active but it's been a struggle. I guess at 42 and the sleepy town I live in I feel lost and like I'm the only one who is single at my age and who still wants to do things like kayak, hike, travel, go out for a fun night drinking and dancing, but who also knows my limits that I can't do as much as I used to. I know I need to find some new hobbies and something that involves other people but I don't know what that would be. I've gotten used to just entertaining myself with projects at home, which it sounds like you can relate to. But I'm still a social person at heart and feed off of other people and need to have more social hobbies that get me out of the house.
That's really good to hear, get out there and grab life while it's still around! Perhaps you'll find an activity that helps you with your weight. While I think it's very wise to understand your limits, I hope you don't limit yourself in dictating what your life should be based on the given norms of society. Kayaking sounds fun to me. I know if I lived near some woods where I could just get out and 'play' I'd be in better shape myself.
I'm 42 myself and I think it's a peculiar age to be in our modern world, single and unsure of where to go for your needs. I wish you luck in finding what you need
Hang in there. I’ve been experiencing the same and talking to a friend recently reminded me that I didn’t develop this COVID brain overnight. I remember it taking me around 3 months to get used to working from home when COVID shut everything down. Now that things are open again, I am still fearful and I know people are lying about being vaccinated and now have to worry about the Delta variant and I got the j and j shot and have underlying conditions, so I feel less safe. My friend said it would probably take a few months to get my thinking back to more normal and get used to being around people and maybe get back to the office. I have a lot of fear and anxiety around these things. I haven’t been happy or joyful and have had some depression being isolated. I found emotions anonymous online and have been going to a few meetings a week. Nice people and nice way to connect to live people online and helps to hear stories of perseverance. Everything reminds me to have faith and be patient. To practice better self care and take care of myself. It’s a slow process. The best way to begin is with baby steps. Like when I started walking to help my stress, anxiety, blood pressure etc…I started with o my five minutes. I didn’t tell myself to walk an hour. That was too daunting. Just start small and keep doing it. You will build on small habits. I have found that reading is a good escape also and makes me feel like I’m traveling and getting out of my house, even though it’s just in a book…the kind doesn’t know the difference. For that reason I also don’t watch news or scary horror things on tv…just not worth having those things spinning in my brain because again the brain doesn’t know the difference. Hang in there.
Thank you! These are really helpful things to think about. I've always been the kind of person to throw myself into things but I should try baby steps. Sometimes it's not always easy to start small as I have some larger family and community events I have to attend coming up but maybe that will be helpful too.
I think you have a great opportunity to carve out the kind of life you want right now. Things that you didn't like before can be gone. New people, new experiences....it just takes the motivation to get out and do them. I feel similarly, and when I get invited to do something and I make myself go, I feel much better than if I'd skipped it!!!
I can relate. I'm 43, live alone, and working at home since the pandemic. There were many days I loved all the time to read and get caught up on Netflix, but after over a year now feel depressed and isolated. I'm still not entirely comfortable socializing in public places without masks and still stay home a lot. I've been reconnecting with friends but at times feel disconnected and awkward. People have told me to give it time for things to feel normal again, so for now I'm trying to continue to reach out to friends, be patient, and also accept some things may be different. Many of my friends are busy with their kids and husbands, so I also realize I need to make new friends, which is definitely harder to do at this age.
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