Scared to death.. detached

[Spooky99]

EVERYTIME I have anxiety, I feel detached!!! I’m scared!!! When I’m on clonopin and feel normal things are good. This all started when I was 18 and smoked pot. I’ve been so anxious lately. 😢. I’m so worried I feel I might have to do away with myself. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I’d rather have some disease that could be treated. I’m a mess. I was good for a long while

[Starrlight]

Me too. I was good for a long time after being in hell for much much longer. Now it’s come for me again. Don’t give up. I was just sitting here wondering thinking when when will I be able to leave this world maybe when my kids are grown and I sense that it is time but you know nature tells us when it is time or God whichever. It gets better. Then it gets worse. But we always get up again and try and get stronger and more powerful for the next time. Never do we give up.

[Hidden]

Yeah when most people talk about anxiety they usually say detachment is the worst part of it. Have you watched any of Trey Jones videos on YouTube?

[Spooky99 in reply to Hidden]

No but I will look ! Thank you!

[Tara52]

I know how that feels. I have been there many times, very scary. However I have learned with much searching with prayer & meditation that we are NEVER separated from God & His Love.💗 We are spiritual beings and when we start experiencing life not only through our 5 senses but through our spiritual sense we can gain mastery over our bodies . You can find some good meditation techniques on YouTube. I will be praying for you.💗🙏🤗

[Spooky99 in reply to Tara52]

Thanks! I have a good Relationship with God. But while an attack happens, I feel I’m dying or going insane. Ty for prayers! Same for you

[HD1960]

Hey Spooky,I feel the same way at times more than you know. So maybe you can see a doctor and take something and see if it works, I did and it worked.

I was on Xanax for many years and finally stopped. Hardest thing I have ever done X 10. Be strong you can do it.

[Spooky99 in reply to HD1960]

Ugh you mean get off the clonopin. I think I’d rather be dead. I’m having a hard time on it. When I get an attack the feeling of detachment is horrible!

[Audiomarc1]

Klonopin is my savior. I never thought my living or dying is dependent on a little pill. I am in terrible trouble if that little pill is not around. Talk therapy is good but that little pill is my savior.

[Audiomarc1 in reply to Audiomarc1]

Hi all. I stated 11 months ago that Klonopin was my savior. I need to update that statement..... this past January, 2022, my therapist asked me off the cuff how much Klonopin I was taking. I was taking 6 - 8 mg. Per day. He was scared. He said that could be a fatal amount. I was unaware at this point, I was heavily addicted to my savior, Klonopin. My wife immediately took me to a hospital that takes care of addictions. I was in denial that I was addicted. I was scared. I was in the hospital for 12 days. My withdrawal was brutal. I had to literally fight to stay alive. Well, it's 5 months later and I have been fighting like crazy. Little by little over this time, my withdrawal was getting easier. I'm at about 80 percent over my withdrawal. This last 20 percent will go slow but I am a new person!!! My anxiety and depression has lowered considerably. Still there but much easier to handle. To anybody who has read my story, these damn benzos are awful. Stop for a moment and find out if you are in trouble with addiction, you might not even realize that there is a problem. Get off them at any cost. Save your life, follow my lead, you can do it too. PLEASE!! Good luck to you. Best regards to all.

[Isinatra in reply to Audiomarc1]

Good for you being able to get off the benzos. My mental health clinic will not prescribe them at all anymore to anyone. For the clinic, when it was prescribing benzos, it caused more harm in people than good. There were two psychiatrists that prescribed them like candy. But then whoever attains the responsibility to prescribe it and isn’t in the field of mental health, too often is not educated enough about addiction. Not knowing you are addicted is part of being addicted. It’s not the persons fault, it’s the drugs fault. Eventually, the increasing problem of benzodiazepine addiction will become more public and there will be more awareness. In the meantime, we’ll hear stories like yours of the suffering that benzos can create.

[Audiomarc1 in reply to Isinatra]

You hit it right on spot. I was given it like candy. All I had to do was ask my psychiatrist for refills and I was back in business. It's funny, I didn't mention that I had been on Klonopin for 10 years!!! The first 6 years I was on around 2-3 mg. But after that whenever depression and anxiety hit hard, my amount went up. Then it would go down. However, in time it wouldn't go back down. And that's when it crept up on me and I didn't even realize it. So...I will get off my soap box now. Hey, just passing on my history with Klonopin. If you ever want to talk about it with me, feel free to contact me anytime.

[Isinatra in reply to Audiomarc1]

We need your soapbox and even a taller one. 10 years… It helps to know how benzodiazepines are metabolized in the human body. It explains how and why they are addictive. Thank you for your offer. I just might show up on your doorstep. Figuratively speaking. Lol

[Audiomarc1 in reply to Isinatra]

You know, that's what is great about this site. People helping each other with the so many issues and illnesses that plague our community! I have taken help regarding my situations, from others that have knowledge about the things I have problems with. I want to help people with things I have close, personal knowledge of. I don't have all the answers... but I was once on the path so I'm willing to help. Just ask me, anytime! Talk to you soon. 🙂

[Isinatra in reply to Audiomarc1]

😁👍🏼

[Spooky99 in reply to Audiomarc1]

Glad for you. But I will definitely drink if I get off this. I would 100% be suicidal ! I’m 54. At this point I don’t care. I’ll be dead without it. I take 2 mg a day. I’m able to function. I don’t care a little bit that I am addicted.

[Audiomarc1 in reply to Spooky99]

Hi. 2mg of Klonopin isn't too terrible if it helps. That amount is probably ok as a maximum dose. I was at 3-4 times your amount. I was told that that amount could/should have been fatal but everyone has a different physical makeup. I was lucky to be able to withstand my high dosage. But the possible damage is real. I didn't mention that my short term memory was a problem. I also have the tendency to talk to fast and my brain can't keep up. I then have to stop because I can't continue or remember what I was saying. And I still have minor tremors. I have an appointment with a neurologist to determine if these issues are temporary or permanent. It's scary...these issues mimic Parkinson's. All I'm saying is to be cognizant about a need to increase the amount taken. It snuck up on me. 1mg went to 2mg to 3mg and just kept going to where I ended up at 6-8mg. I'm just passing on, my experience. Good luck to all.

[Spooky99 in reply to Audiomarc1]

Thank goodness you beat it!!! I’m in AA and I would not be considered sober. I do have short term memory loss. I probably will have dementia 😫. But I feel I have no choice. I literally was agoraphobic. Thank you! I may reach out. I hear it’s the worse withdraw and I no if I forget to take it! I start trembling and panicking and everything looks not real” I feel detached. Maybe I’m just plane crazy. That scares me too

[Spooky99]

Me too. I don’t abuse it. It just makes me feel normal. Before medicine I use to abuse alcohol to medicate myself. I’ve been in recovery for years.

[1jill2]

I have recently read Eckhart Tolle's books the Power of Now and A New Earth. They were helpful to me and may be helpful to you as well. You are not alone and your life matters!