I am usually quite optimistic but had both knees replaced last August and one is likely infected( recent bone scan) and I may have to have revision surgery which is much harder (I'm 77 so other health issues to manage too.) I've been really stressed as waiting for biopsy appt to see what bacteria are involved and someone is off in department so they can't organise it yet . I had shingles with really bad pain recently and pain is gone but I feel very, very tired (Could be shingles, could be knee)
I'm hoping this will improve but in the meantime I'm not dealing with stress (extreme case with knee infection can be amputation). I have found myself crying some days and think am depressed so am hoping you may have some advice please I have been lucky not to experienced depression before but realise now how grim it is! Any suggestions are very welcome
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rosyG
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This is a tremendous amount to go through. It is no wonder you feel sad. Good for you for reaching out. There is something called situational depression that is a result of some event. It can be devastating so it is important to get some help. I suggest reaching out to a therapist. You can talk to someone online or in person. Someone who can be empathetic and objective.
Wow Rosy , that's a lot to deal with just ur knees alone let alone throwing some other illnesses too.
Having major surgery leaves us feeling vulnerable & some feel it more than others & u could well have a horrible infection too to make things worse . Then come what could happen next best case scenario meds can cure the infection completely , yet I'm sure they've said worse case they taking ur leg above the or below ur knee & that alone is going to compound ur anxiety a billion fold & it wouldn't surprise me that due the situation u find urself in the anger shows itself no matter how hard u try not to show it.
Whilst ur waiting for the next scan /test start looking up & research what other amputees do with their lives to stop being another statistic, and have the depression of the situation take over & u can't see the wood for the trees so to speak.
I unfortunately let it all fester & fell into depression which made my anxiety worse too. However over the years I've learned lots of new ways of seeing things & coping techniques that help me keep the depression away. I just wished I knew this before I fell into depression & I'm using meds to take the edge off it but it still creeps in the SOB.
I hope what I've written has given u something of an insight & you get a good set of results & meds will get rid of infection. Also I can only speak from my own experiences.
Dear Rosie, I am so sorry to hear this and I know from the way you have organised a support group I belong to what a positive person you are. You have a lot on your plate and the difficulties at the hospital aren't helping. The thought of amputation is daunting, and although it may not ever come to that, it's hard to get the the idea out if your head.
I can only say what helped me in a similar state of mind when I was diagnosed with a heart problem. I got very low, weepy and agoraphobic. At one point I could not even eat, having such a sense of dread and permanently dry mouth (quite something for me!). Also I could not sleep. Aged 65, I had never experienced anything like it before even when I had cancer.
Yet I was reluctant to take yet more medication (I don't knock this at all, two friends have been prescribed antidepressants and they have worked brilliantly, and they have been able to come off them with little difficulty).
Eventually I found the organisation Anxiety UK and after joining online I was able to easily find a really lovely (professional) psychotherapist. Within a few days we had spoken on the phone and within a week I was at my first appointment. She diagnosed moderate depression and acute anxiety. My main problems were over-thinking and catastrophising - i.e. always thinking the worst.
The techniques she taught me were a revelation and I still use them. She also practices hypnotherapy and taught me self-hypnosis. It's very useful, almost a kind of meditation. Over 8 sessions I came to terms with my situation and felt like my old self. I just wish I had done something sooner instead of struggling.
This may not be the route for you, but if you PM me I can give you more info, contacts etc. All the very best ❤
That’s alot on your plate. You go in for surgery and come out with an infection/ physical health can really affect our mental health - how do your new knees feel? I would suggest seeking the help of a therapist to get you through this rough patch.
I have at last got the appt for aspiration on Wednesday so at least will get nearer to some answers. Hoping the feeling of limbo lessens now! I’ve always been sympathetic to those with depression but didn’t realise how it descends on one until now!!!
So glad you found us, Rosy. You’ll find (as you have with these responses) that this is a great group of people. And by adding folks like you we only get stronger. As a reforming catastrophizer I understand completely thinking the worst in the circumstances you find yourself in. But there’s a good chance it won’t come to that. It’s clear that you have a great spirit. That’s 90 percent of the battle! Welcome
When we are faced with a situation that we can’t control it can be overwhelming. For me, focusing on what I can ‘control’ helps. Also breathing and mindfulness is helpful. Stay strong, you are not alone
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