First off...Hello! I'm hoping to augment my therapy with some other techniques or things to stave off an unfortunate situation for me. I'm on the doorstep of 50. I think I've always had low grade anxiety particularly in social situations where I have to be front and center. Somehow I've coped with it and worked around it...while faking people out with false confidence along the way. I'm an introvert trying to fake extroversion/Type A and it's taken it's toll. I was able to fake it because I'm 6'6" and was the jock throughout high school and college, so that made me come across as someone that I really wasn't.
Due to some stress around a VERY difficult situation with the mother of one of my children, my low grade anxiety mushroomed last year into all out panic attacks. Basically, when I got into any situation where a room or important group of people were looking solely at me, I could shut down physically or mentally, like my life was in danger. It was embarrassing and shameful and part of the reason where I willingly left a high paying tech job this past April. I've been able to manage things somewhat with Propanolol, a beta blocker. But that is something where I can plan. My issue is if I unexpectedly have to get up and "perform" in front of people, it could send me spiraling.
Having said this, I've also been a semi pro musician as a guitar player. Somehow I have been able to make that happen on stage in front of an audience...I think because I love it. I also think it's because I am a part of the whole and not the focus of everyone's attention. I couldn't be a sole performer. I hadn't gigged since Jan 18 though and that was prior to my first panic attack. I always drank before taking the stage to cut the nerves and put my mind elsewhere. Not something I could ever do at work.
So...here I am. Putting myself out there in the universe to see if someone has had a similar path and if you found something you could point me to that worked to manage it.
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LesPaulSlinger
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Welcome LesPaulSlinger Like you, I was also an introvert. High School was the worst
but then who doesn't struggle during those difficult years in finding yourself. When I started working I was still very shy and kept to myself....UNTIL I was sent on a job through
a work agency. Little did I know that I would be the center of attention at a Convention Center desk. I immediately told my boss who interviewed me that there was nooo way
I could sit out in the open unless he built a wall around me He guaranteed that within
3 months time, I would be "dancing on the desk" Huh?? I attended meetings there that
were meant to give confidence to the new salesmen. Ironically one of the tools used was
to fake that I was a Type A outgoing person. It worked. I play acted my way into being this person by realizing that I could be anyone I wanted to. These 400-500 people a week
didn't know me. It actually was addicting to be someone I never knew was possible.
Actually, maybe it worked too well I could get up and talk in front of a group of people,
I was no longer nervous meeting new people and engaging in conversation. I had found a
new me. I think with your tall built, you present with a confident gait and personality even
though you may feel uncomfortable inside. I think that's great that you can get on a stage
and perform with your guitar in a group. Small steps lead to larger ones.
Stress is always going to be a part of one's life. It's how we react to that stress that will count. We can't allow anxiety to control us. It's not easy at the beginning but after my
having 5 years of Agoraphobia (never leaving myhouse) I wanted more. I wanted it all.
LesPaul, I'm glad you found this amazing forum. I think you will do just fine interacting
with others on this site who understand and have experienced your issues. We really
Hi LesPaulSlinger. Fellow introvert here. I faked it my entire career through many terrifying (for me) business trips and presentations.
We introverts are unlikely to ever feel relaxed as the center of attention. It seems you know the survival tricks well -- since you could get on stage, but you've been sensitized by your recent situation. Nothing lasts forever. Even panic attacks can run out of gas if we can discover how to stop feeding them. It sounds like you will have a different job. Perhaps that is a positive.
I recently discovered the book "Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks." Even though I've been down this road for almost 20 years now, it gave me new, effective ideas for dealing with my anxiety. You might check it out and see if it's right for you.
I think you'll continue to find friendly ears here. Be well.
If you're open to it, I would recommend looking into hypnotherapy for this type of anxiety attack. Someone who specialises in the Rewind Technique for ptsd and phobias might be a good option.
I'm 62.. the worst thing I tried was prescribed Klonopin a benzodiazepine. Since weaning off and going through a med caused cns disorder.. I've learned coping skills...
Breathing exercises
Meditation
Mindfulness
Prayer
I'm better at knowing ahead of time when I'm to attend large functions to prepare myself. It's the prep time I dread, once there I usually find I'm having a good time.
I've also learned how to say no and to walk away from uncomfortable situations..
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