Good life

[Violetbluepigeon]

Anyone else have a good life but feel they don’t deserve it? Like gratitude journaling makes you feel even worse because you should be happy?

[Violetbluepigeon]

On the surface things are good and any time I feel sad it’s like I’m not being thankful. A big trigger is thinking about my brother who also has mental health issues and is currently hospitalized because of it. (Hospitalized for the 4th time in the past 12 months) No one wants to listen to me talk about him and I am in therapy myself but my cousler says I have low self esteem and need to work in that. I’m a mom, a wife and I used to work helping others. I have a masters degree in social work even. Shouldn’t I know how to take care of myself?! I’m so tired of feeling like this. I wish I could escape myself somehow.

[Roxylox]

My life is good in many ways, for that Iam grateful. However l feel l deserve to have more friends. That makes me feel a little less guilty for having a happy home life. Never had a job to really suit me either.

[BrainIsFull]

When I am having a depressive episode I feel just like that about "gratitude". I have a lot of guilt about anything and everything. I have stopped using the word "gratitude" bc it's just not helpful to me. I just describe things that I am happy about or feel fortunate about. Sometimes I do a "done" list, either on paper or in my head. It can help me focus on what I have accomplished (I start with "got out of bed" bc it's often the hardest). On some days the list could be really short like "got out of bed, showered, survived".

Depression doesn't have much to do with how things are going in my life. It has more to do with what's going on in my brain.

[Violetbluepigeon in reply to BrainIsFull]

Thank you so much for this! I used to love making lists and have fallen out of practice. Your last bit, I’m saving that and posing it in my closet as a reminder. Thank you

[Hidden]

Once again, same here.