I have lived alone for almost thirty years ever since I left home and now given the four lockdowns since last year I am finding very hard to keep living alone
I face a very difficult decision either to remain in U.K. and try to requalify at such a late age or join my Mum and I may live to regret this decision
If I was married or if I had children and was in employment, I could accept my life but I am finding it difficult to cope with being responsible for myself and having anxiety ?
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Roukaya
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I dont think anyone is ever really alone, there are always people out there who can like us and would try to support our feelings. Society doesnt make it easy for people to trust each other so I think alot of people with feelings similar to yours don't say anything because they are afraid. I think alot of people even those who have lots of friends are afraid to admit how emotionally alone they feel. I dont know why this is, but I know that if there are friendly supportive people on HU there have to be the same type of people where anyone lives, they probably are just too afraid to speak up.
Yes, I understand. I have lived alone for two years since my husband died. With the pandemic on top of everything else, I am finding it very difficult too. I am considering moving to be closer to my son and 2 grandchildren. I have pretty much made the decision, but it is a hard one to make and I hope I do not regret it.
In addition to your Mother, do you have any other relatives in her area, or old friends? Perhaps making a list of the pluses and minuses of moving would clarify things for you.
You are fortunate that you have children and you can be near them My Mother lives overseas and if go overseas my aims of requalifying will not materialise and I would not know what to do but be
Roukaya would your mum be willing to join you here . That way you have each other and you can carry on with your studies. If you go and join your mum you won't be able to qualify and start work there. The opportunities are here for you not there.
Mum has a few properties and is reducing her small property portfolio by selling a few
I have asked Mum many times to join me but she still has a few properties left which is will not sell
It is very true as there are no opportunities for mr over there but it is the extreme loneliness of life in U.K.
Also Mum is starting with a cold and has a sinus problem so it is worse as she is on het own but she has a sister who after many years is of support to Mum
It is hard living on your own with no one to care for you
I think you do both need each other as you both live alone and it can get lonely.I'm ok Alhumdulillah but this cold weather is making me feel more tired and achy. I hope the weather does get warmer soon. Is the weather wet and windy where you are as your not too far from me.
Yes the weather can bring on low mood as it's been like this since Eid day. Not much to do inside so it's getting boring. Wish this virus goes away. Just want the normal life back. I hope so soon. I miss meeting people and talking to people. Alhumdulillah I have my neighbour's who I have a chat with. Just not the same calling people by phone. So I can understand how you feel.
Allah Talah will look after your mum, pray for her. You take care of yourself and concentrate on what you need to do. You are too far to be able to help her. You can only comfort her with your words so no point worrying.
I've lived alone for some time now. Since the mid 90's. I've become comfortable with it. I've adapted my life style to accommodate my needs. Me and my dog. Oh get get lonely in the small hours just before bed time and just as I'm waking up.The only times I really notice my "Aloneness" is during holidays and such.
I'm something of a hermit anyway. The pandemic didn't change my life style too much. In fact it gave me an excuse to be a recluse. Bonus, since I wasn't out and about nearly and much ,shopping , hiking socializing etc. I've found I have more money left at the end of the month that I can put in my savings account. I have a group of friends that I visit , as well as our community meetings, now that COVID has slackened off a bit and all of us in the community are vaccinated.
Hi Roukaya, I was just thinking about you as not heard from you for a while.it’s a difficult decision, do you have any family here in the U.K. I can’t remember, at least you would have family to help with Mum if you went back.
I live alone and have done for most of my life. You have got to face that at your age you are not going to have children. You might find a partner though so never give up hope.
I have said to you before that friends are the route to go down. With good friends you will feel much happier. I do anyway.
Making friends here is a good way of relieving the loneliness. That way someone always ready for a chat. I live with one of my 2 daughters but she does her own thing as well as works & so I get a lot of alone time & I find that I prefer to be alone , then I can read my kindle or listen to an audio book or watch TV. I'm lucky as I got family to WhatsApp with too.
Do you have other family that u get on with ? Or even friends nearby? Is their any volunteering work you could do that gets you out amongst other folks, as I used to be a befriended for a dementia charity & loved the work I there until my health forced me to give it up as I couldn't give enough of my time , I was sad to leave that.
What about reading ? Or even listening to audio books to keep ur mind busy or even going to the library to chill out there. Sometimes I write a letter to no one , where I get my thoughts on paper & once I seal the envelope I tear it up & throw it away as the exercise to busy my mind. Do u use the dreaded face book ? They must have friends groups near you. I hope ur loneliness is driven away by some light & laughter .
I live alone and have done now for some years. I have children and grandchildren so all have busy lives of their own and parents died many years ago. I don't think any of them know how difficult it is for me living alone especially as I have fibromyalgia too and osteoarthritis among other things plus don't have any friends for company either. I find every day a constant dread battle anxious fear and don't drive so have to walk to the shops ect struggle with my food shopping I just can't face things and hate it now we are coming out of lockdown and things are going back to near normal with more people about more traffic on the roads pubs reopening ect I just find so hard to deal with and hate it. I know I shouldn't feel that way but just seems out of my control.
I am fron the United States and have something similar going on. I am living alone and it is very difficult. I am learning that I have to take care of myself because no one else will. I make it a habit of reading specific things about how to help myself become more social and connected with other people. I work on myself I built myself, I research other opportunities that I can to get myself back out there. I watch a lot of YouTube videos on self-help and I practice with my few Friends that I have. I literally count my blessings and gratitude to help me keep going every day and I believe that things will get better
We just have to paint the extension, and we can start to use it, Then there's the extension to my son's Man Cave probably starting in August.
The layout of the bungalow can trap us if a fire starts either in the kitchen or garage, so his extension gives us a back fire exit.
Then it's rejig the kitchen to put in more cupboards and the bathroom to become a proper wet room, and we will be finished. and by then I'll probably be out of money!
I have been home alone for years but was always able to cope as I would visit Mum and Mum would visit me
But Covid and Lockdown made travel a no no
I am not normally a fighter but a passive person but this time I will fight to travel once the borders open
In Lockdown been able to pass two out of three Post Graduate exams and my aim was always to open a little community law office for the elderly to made it a community hub
As in my years of loneliness I have seen how much the elderly require effective and affordable legal advice
I think given my anxiety and mild depression I don’t have the vision to carry out my aims also my anxiety has been triggered by lock down and loneliness
Very understanding reply when you say look to your reasoning for loneliness
Yes, I live alone, but I enjoy it. It would be difficult if I hated it because I spend so much time alone. Since you do not enjoy it, feeling better is really going to require that you maybe figure out what about living alone is bothering you. Are you in therapy? There are a lot of ppl who live alone who enjoy it and others who don't as much, but find ways to cope. Best of luck to you.
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