Why?

[Dragon3695]

Why is it so hard to give up on things as well as people when you know the situation is definitely not ideal? Why do I fight so hard for what I want when I know odds are against me? Why must I be so stubborn and pig headed when I know what needs to be done?

[Lazy_dog_lover]

Science shows us that we migrate to the familiar and away from the unknown. It is the same reason abused people stay with their abuser or move to another who is very similar. Breaking out of the cycle takes courage and faith in yourself and your choice. It can be very hard depending on how engrained the old situation is, but you are so worth it.

[Hidden]

What a good question Dragon. In my country there is a saying, I won't say it bcz it's in a foreign language but it means, "unless there is a substitute, you can't give it up". We have read ur posts and we know ur struggles especially about the love for your roommate. Maybe, that is a dead end but ur mind will not allow it, your mind will deny evidence even. So, what do you do if you can't control your mind and emotions? Get out, find a place filled with people, mingle, meet people and make new friends and surely there is going to be one that will appeal to your heart. Yes, it is not going to an instant thing but it a start, we have to start somewhere right? Is this a rebound? I'm a not a therapist, I wouldn't know but what I know is that the situation u are in is not at all healthy. You need to meet someone and be interested in someone to get rid of that one in your mind.

[Chase888 in reply to Hidden]

Totally agree. It's not healthy to be like co dependent.

I remember saying to mum after dad died, I said "you two were not happy and hated each other. And if I talked back to you you would say you know what to do if you don't like it. Clear off. But you or dad never cleared off".

Mum said I was right.

Point being people can be scared of change. I don't always like change. I have missed lovely GPS who have come and gone and events like quiz night that has all shut down.

Thanks for your reply.

[Hidden in reply to Chase888]

Very true there chase.. Nothing is as hard and scary as change. Do you know it is easier and better to stay in an abusive relationship than to leave because we are scared of change, yet, change is the only constant thing in life. I get you broe