A few years ago I volunteered to MC a talent show put on by my social club. It seemed right up my alley. A captive audience that I can torture with my endless banter. At one point in my introduction to the next act someone heckled me. My blood froze in my veins. My heart dropped to my toes. I locked my knees in case they decided to buckle. My mind went completely blank. This was my worst nightmare yet I had no response prepared. I was struck dumb. And then came the miracle. I heard my voice saying absolutely brilliant things. It was my voice but not my brain. Someone else was making me talk. Anyway, my voice said something that I've never seen a stand up comedian do. I directed my statement to the audience at large "Oh my. My first heckler!!! How exciting! This is a milestone in my career. A baptism by fire so to speak." I turned my attention to the heckler. "Please sir stand up so we can all hear you better. Yes that's it. Now what's your name? Hmm sorry can't hear you. You better come up here so everyone can hear. You do have a valid point so let's share with everyone."
"Oh come on don't be shy. You weren't shy a moment ago. Come on up here where we can all hear & see you. No? I thought not. Today is about having fun, In fact, all entertainment is about having fun. Otherwise it would be called root canal."
The audience laughed. I continued. "This is an amateur show. No formal training here. No delusions of grandeur other than mine. We had fun putting this together and we hope you have fun too. So unnamed heckler stop trying to make this root canal & enjoy the show like a good boy. Thank you."
I got a standing ovation. (No accounting for taste) Mr. Heckler waited for a moment & then quietly slunk away. I considered saying good-bye but I figured humiliating him more would be fun but nonproductive. I wonder if he ever heckled anyone ever again. No? Your welcome.