How to deal with being alone? - Anxiety and Depre...

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How to deal with being alone?

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Hi all, I'm a 22 year old student just about to move to London later this year, and I've been struggling badly with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts for the last two years or so. I have Asperger's (albeit very mild) so I find it hard to make friends, but I've managed to make some strong friendships while at university, but now that I'm moving away and everyone from my course has gone back home I feel so distant from everyone and it is very painful. I am also really brought down by low self-esteem and thinking that I will never find someone who can genuinely enjoy spending time with me. Eventually I would like to find someone to be in a relationship with but I'm struggling to see that happening. I know this sounds like a very small thing to be upset about but I have only touched the surface here, and I just feel desperately alone in the world right now and am struggling to find a reason to keep going. I was on citalopram (40 mg) for a few months last year until I spiraled rather badly and intentionally overdosed on them, and then was off medication for a year and have just started on sertraline three weeks ago (50 mg, probably moving up to 100 mg tomorrow). While this has helped a bit with anxiety, I'm now finding myself still rather depressed about the prospect of being alone in life for a long time.

So I was just wondering, does anyone have any good tips on how to enjoy being alone and accepting the fact that you're lonely? I really don't enjoy the solitude and it's starting to feel quite dangerous whenever I'm alone for too long now so any advice would be greatly appreciated! Of course I would be more than happy to offer my own coping strategies or help anybody else in any way I can.

7 Replies

Try to keep in contact with the friends you do have online so you can have people to go to when you need to and idk how you would feel about this but sometimes at night I just walk around the neighborhood knowing there’s people all around me and look at the stars and think I’m not alone there are so many people seeing those same stars

Know that this time in your life can be lonely as you are in between youth and adulthood and are finding your way. This pain is deep, I remember it well, but I promise it will get better. You’re about to meet up with destiny. The most important thing is to not beat yourself up about it! Soothe yourself with whatever little things bring you comfort. This place here can be a refuge and you’ll make real friends here from all over the globe. Reading all their posts will give you perspective too of how common what you’re feeling is.

Maybe creating a group chat with your friends would keep you more in contact?

I find it very positive that you are thinking about relationship! It means that you care for others and want to be cared about too! I am so happy to hear that!

I wish you will build a great circle of people in no time! I’m sure you’ll do. You seem to be very liked person.

Stay with us in the meantime and let us the chance to get to know you!

I know how you feel I’m quite socially awkward and yeah it’s harder to make friends but that’s not a reason to stop trying or hoping. And trying to keep in touch with the friends you have is a good idea but its also good to learn how to be alone sometimes do you have any hobbies or anything use your time alone having fun with something it helps a lot. I like to play video games read and if it’s nice out hitting the trail on my bike myself and it definitely helps me a lot.

Hi complete!

Please don’t worry about being in a relationship at 22! You have so much time to mature and flourish before you meet someone special. Hope endures! Never count yourself out of that race!

As far as being lonely, I would definitely use distraction to see you through. I use distraction for many different issues. I like OrangeBlossom’s idea about arranging a group chat. Visit this forum. It’s a very friendly and supportive place! Don’t worry about the future!! It just hasn’t arrived yet! Wishing you the best!

I try to stay in the present moment. I only focus on what needs to be this very second. I try not to think about the future or making goals. I just accept that I am alone. It gets easier with age. I remember being lonely in my 20s. Once I hit my thirties it lifted some what. Now that I am almost forty I have the hope that I am half way through the journey of life, and ever close to peace. Peace at last.

Hello. I find books can be my friends. They remind me that I am not the only one who struggles to fit in and with all the self help books that have been written there must be a lot of real people in addition to any fictional characters. You say you have friends at uni so it would appear that you have managed to create a successful social life before so remember this when you move. You have done it once and I am sure you can do it again. Also I do not equate being on my own with being lonely. I have been far more lonely when in a crowd of people than I have ever been when on my own.

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