Lost, dazed and confused

[angelface1034]

Hi everyone 💕 hope all is well. I am honestly Just posting because I have to vent and I honestly don’t know who else to talk to that would understand where I am coming from. Especially since i have severe clinical depression snd anxiety (yes, i take medication) anyways...I feel as if I hit a wall in my life and I am at a completely loss. I feel like my life is super out of control and not the way I want it to go. So embarrassing but I gained like 50 pounds during covid and I have been trying off and on to lose the weight. Not only has my self confidence disappeared...I just feel super unhealthy and not good like 90 percent of the time. Personally...for me when I cannot get my weight under control or my health isnt the best...everything else just falls out of place...and I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of confidence. I notice that when I take care of myself in a healthy way...I gain back my confidence, I feel better and i have more motivation to do things. So why do i continuously eat out... not go grocery shopping, not workout, or don’t drink water at all? I’m so frustrated with myself... it’s like subconsciously i like to watch myself destroy myself... I know this all may sound so silly... and probably annoying and I’m sorry. I am just at a loss. I’m starting to hate myself more each day.

[Opportunity]

Hi there. You are not alone... I know a lot of people who have gained weight during COVID. And that includes me. I feel parts of my body that weren’t noticeable before. It’s not so fun. 😞And it strikes me with your post that we all tend to look at this backwards...it’s not about the food. 🤔. I think it’s about emotional literacy.

For example, it could be that you are intensely frustrated with the difficult and mundane things of life. And maybe you act out that frustration with eating because eating is awesome and feels good. Maybe eating is like, the one freaking fun thing you get to do in a day. (Not that I’m using an example from personal experience or anything... 🤣🤣)

I’ve found that when my eating habits are in the sh****r, it usually isn’t eating that is the actual issue. It’s something else entirely. Too much work. Uncomfortable clothing. A bad man. Etc. If I take care of those things FIRST (asking for less work, buying bigger clothes, breaking up) I feel better. Then, and only then, I can get on board with any lifestyle changes, like walking after dinner, or doing things I enjoy.

For you, are there any changes you can make now? If I may suggest one: put a reminder up on your fridge and pantry that asks, “How do you feel?” Do a body and feelings scan. Maybe say that out loud every time you reach for whatever delicious thing, and then answer the question. Small changes can lead to bigger ones. Merely naming and tuning into feelings can kick off a new way of thinking. 🤗🤗. Just an idea... throwing it out there.... best wishes...

[Agora1]

Hi angelface, I think we all found ways to compensate for Covid. It put as all in a tailspin

of fear of the unknown. Each of us used something that would give us comfort even for

a short time. Some choose alcohol, I choose food as well. Eating can be like a warm hug

that we were all craving. As for drinking water, I posted it on the forum and now I get

a loving reminder from Starrlight "did you have any water?"

Hopefully things will start turning around more soon. Getting out, eventually seeing people again will fill some of that void we've been missing.

Don't hate yourself for being human. It's nothing catastrophic that can't be changed.

Set a goal for yourself. Two steps forward one step back is allowed at the beginning

Once you get into a routine in getting out each day and eating better, your steps will

get closer to your goal. You're certainly not alone. xx

[kvolm2016]

Sorry to read that you are at this place of frustration and disappointment. This past year has definitely been hard on most people and has taken it's toll in a variety of ways for sure. You mention that medication is already a part of your mental health care, which is good. What about a therapist? Since you are feeling stuck on these particular food/health issues, are you getting help to get to the root of them?