Should I look for a new Councilor/Therapist?

[PillsROG]

As of late, I have noticed that individuals seem to be getting impatient with me in my struggles with Major Depressive Disorder and Panic/Anxiety Disorder that I have struggled with since I was 16 when my father passed away. This last week especially has been a rough set of days between family choosing to push me away and the whole pandemic thing of feeling isolated. Upon meeting with my therapist she over talked me several times because she didn't agree with my perception that I feel that there is just not a place for me in this world anymore as I feel that I am seen more as a stumbling block rather than seen as an asset to anyone I come in contact with.

She commented to my feelings about this: "What makes you so special that you are the only person on this planet that human empathy and emotion does not apply to? What proof do you have to support this notion?"

I replied "Why are you answering my concern with a question. What Proof do you have that my perception is false?"

She then made the comment:

"Maybe you are just a lost cause and maybe this world might be a better place without you in it. Maybe I could spend this time I waste trying to convince you otherwise helping people that want to be helped".

Upon my remark that perhaps I should follow her advice and just take myself out of this world, and she then calmed down the discussion and stated, "...., for some sometimes it is necessary for me to provide a sense of shock therapy to shake my clients out of their current state of thinking".

My question is, if she placed me into a mode of considering suicide just so she could have the last word (at least in my perception), does anyone else also believe that this is not a healthy arrangement and I should go elsewhere, or should I give it another chance and express to them that is a boundary that they never should have crossed?

I do really look forward to anyone's input on this as I know that I am guilty of reacting first at times and think it through after it is too late.

[Hb2003]

Oh my goodness I am so sorry 😞 that makes me furious and angry the therapist should be fired from her job lots of kindness and support- Hiba

[PillsROG in reply to Hb2003]

Thanks Hiba. I'm generally a very forgiving individual and I I know also that finding a Therapist you mesh with tends to be the true struggle. I have been with this therapist going on 2 years and at times she says something profound which is enough for me to overlook her shortcomings. This time though if felt more of a slap in the face than anything else. - Chris

[Roxylox in reply to PillsROG]

You say this therapist sometimes says profound things. I'd like to add that this mental health nurse did say a lot of other helpful things as well as this triggering statement.

Though not a therapist, she was able to read my personality fairly well, I thought.

[MMoth]

Yes, find a new therapist.

[PillsROG in reply to MMoth]

Thanks MMoth for your advice. Will definitely look into alternatives as I do live in a Remote Rural Area of Utah so this truly is a struggle I have to keep in mind, but I do see your point that it is definitely time to look at all my options.

[Agora1]

PillsROG you have every right to up and leave that therapist. For shock therapy or not, what she said to you was unforgiveable. Nobody, professional or not, should treat you

with disrespect. There are other ways to get the point across to a person. I'm glad you

held your ground and became your own advocate. Good Luck....there are many good, kind

therapists who will be willing to help you. Remember, you are a paying client and you hold

the cards in this deal. All my best xx

[PillsROG in reply to Agora1]

Thanks Agora1. As always it means a lot to have other's weigh in from an external point of view because as I explained earlier, I tend to go into react mode more often then not. Knowing that my reaction is warranted helps me realize that I'm not overreacting and my feelings of moving on to a new therapist is a good idea.

Thanks again!

[hypercat54]

This is what I think. I went to therapy a few years ago and the therapist said a similar thing to me. Oh not about taking myself out of the world or anything which is a bit much, but she questioned my perceptions and pointed out that they could be false so I need to check them out. I understood that magically 'knowing' what people thought of me without asking was useless and I could be totally wrong. This gave me a lot of food for thought and it has become a good habit now never to assume I can read people's minds.

I have a sister who is convinced she is different to everyone else in the world and what works for the rest of us doesn't apply to her. It drives me potty. I want to tell her that once she accepts herself as being as human as anyone else she would be a lot happier.

Maybe your therapist is going too fast for you and has misread what stage in your recovery you are at. I don't know if my words make sense to you - I hope so.

[dangerous_rose]

I think your therapist may have been trying to get you at a place of discomfort in order to realize your cognitive distortions. Some times my therapist does the same.I will agree tho, she definitely overstepped her boundaries.

It's true, it's hard to find a therapist who understands you, especially if it's in a small town.

Maybe try talking to her (sending a text or email) about your personal boundaries first before leaving. You, of course, don't owe her anything by staying as her client. But you might find closure and peace with the situation before leaving her, especially since you've been her patient for so long.

Just a suggestion of course. If you do decide to leave completely, I wouldn't blame you. Clearly her techniques are unorthodox and triggering.

[Roxylox]

I have never been to therapy, but frankly tome what this therapist said to you was appalling. When I was in crisis some years ago a home visiting mental health nurse made a couple of similar blunt statements to me., which I won't repeat.

I thought what she said could be quite triggering to a lot of people.

I feel professionals shouldn't use such risky tactics.