Feeling overwhelmed, alone and having bad thoughts

[olv45638]

I am having to make a huge life decision and I feel so alone and stressed and overwhelmed. I can't speak with my partner about it because he feels personally slighted when I do as the decision I am making directly involves him. I really enjoy my current job ( even though it is high stress sometimes) and this decision would involve me switching careers, moving across the country and taking a significant pay cut. He has already decided to accept a position in a doctoral program across the country. So if I dont choose to take the non preferred role I essentially lose him. We have been together 3 years and are getting engaged. We have a puppy together and two cats. I understand that I sh po old be happy- I got a job offer, I have so much to be grateful for- but sometimes I seriously consider not being here anymore. I know this is selfish. I just feel so isolated and overwhelmed and I have no idea how to even begin tackling all this. If I stay in California I have no one- I moved across the country alone and haven't been able to build a network of my own. I don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe I'm just hoping for anything - maybe a lifeline? Who knows