Feeling Emotionally Alone: I have so... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Feeling Emotionally Alone

MountainLover22 profile image

I have so many emotions running through my head about my life on a constant basis (sadness, happiness, fear, confusion, frustration, isolation, etc) and even when I express these multitude of feelings to my husband or close friends, I feel as if they do not understand. They say "I am here for you" or "How can I help?" and I know they mean it when they say it and they do want to help, but I just don't think they truly understand. I want them to feel my emotions WITH ME, not just TELL me they understand. Is that a selfish want? To want people to feel the same misery or sadness or isolation I sometimes feel? I was opening up to my husband yesterday, expressing all my internal anxieties I was feeling about that day and even about him, and he got frustrated when he tried to talk to me about it, saying "I don't know how to help you feel better. I don't know what to say or what you want me to do." And that made me even more sad. It makes me feel so alone that I feel as if I should just keep my anxieties built up inside, only for me, because expressing them makes me even more sad because I want the people I love to understand me...but they don't and maybe never will.

24 Replies

Hi. I'm sorry you feel alone. First thing I wanted to say is no, they don't understand. Nobody knows what it's like to be you and have your emotions. Second thing is no, it's not selfish to want others to understand. Not one bit. Emotions can be painful and we don't want to go through them alone. Perfectly understandable. Third thing is I bet you anything your husband said that because he is frustrated that he can't help you. Just as you're frustrated that he can't understand you, he is frustrated that you are hurting and he can't help.

I hope this helps somewhat.😊

MountainLover22 profile image
MountainLover22 in reply to

Thank you very much. This actually does help, especially when you say "my husband is frustrated cause he can't help me." I tend to forget that when I am having my own moments of frustration and confusion. Just as I have to give myself some slack and grace, I have to apply that same thought process to him.

Thank you for putting things into perspective for me and making me feel a little bit better. Days like today are hard to manage, but I am glad I have a community like this to express it to. To get these thoughts of my chest.

in reply to MountainLover22

I totally get it. I need to have things put into perspective for me too when I'm having bad days.

You're very welcome.😊

Morning MountainlLover22, I tend to listen to forest sounds (birds, water, etc...) in the morning and it helps me connect with myself. And when I am terribly sad, I binge watch stand up comedians for days and after a while I start smiling back again. Take care.

Thank you, CicaDa. I will definitely try this, see if it works. :)

Sorry you are feeling bad. Loneliness is getting to me today too. They say every person has to struggle with it, it’s part of being human I guess.

You sound frustrated and that’s one of the hardest things to deal with... when I was getting diagnosed for depression the most frustrating thing was my mom (she and I are very close) refusing to accept that my problems could be caused by a mood disorder. She is of the generation that learned to treat depression and other mental health issues and mood disorders as stigmatized.... she wanted to help but would only think about my physical health and refused to see the mood disorder going on. I accepted my depression diagnosis long before she did so I was completely without her help and support as I tried to deal with it and get treatment.

So I never heard “I’m here for you” or “how can I help” from her and I felt like my depression was ruining our relationship. The only emotional support I found was in prayer. I believe that loneliness teaches us to call upon God, we have a hole in our hearts that only God can fill and he understands our feelings better than anyone.

My mom and I got past it. She is much more supportive now.

Sorry that was a long story all about me in response to your post!

Hope you feel better. All the best.

MountainLover22 profile image
MountainLover22 in reply to

Thank you, Phil-4-13. I am honored to have heard your story and you never have to apologize for sharing about yourself when trying to make someone feel better. It actually made me feel comforted knowing others have gone through this. I am just sorry you've never heard "I'm here for you" or "How can I help?" I do want you to know that I AM here for you and can help you in whatever comfort you need. Though I am so very happy to hear your relationship with your Mom has gotten better. That's so important.

You did bring up a topic that I have also been struggling with, and that's calling upon God. I feel like my relationship with God has been...strained? Or lacking, I guess. I sometimes feel as if God has abandoned me and I him because I sometimes wonder why he would make a world filled with sadness and loneliness, and yet doesn't always respond or make me feel better. I was raised in a Christian household my entire life, and some days I just feel frustrated that the world seems to have gone to crap, so full of anxiety, and I just don't know where God is during all of this. I don't even know if he hears me sometimes.

Sorry, a bit of a ramble there. But thank you for making me feel better as best you can!

I appreciate everything you’ve discussed - appreciate comment win feeling alone and even separated from one’s faith. I’m struggling as well and have felt stuck for weeks/months -

Thank you, sometimes just talking about things helps a lot. Glad you found some comfort too!🙂

I relate to your struggle, I have struggled with that too and I think a lot of people struggle with having a relationship with God when the world seems to be full of sadness and suffering. It is a hard question, why does God allow suffering... especially hard to understand during depression when everything seems hopeless... but that is just when we need hope most, right? I know that during depression is when I needed God the most and I know he gave me a reason to keep going.

Only you can decide whether you want him in your life, but I am sure he wants you in his. ❤️ Personally I have found peace through faith 🙏and I am happy to chat with you about it any time if it would help. 🙂

Tregan71 profile image
Tregan71 in reply to

I second that, it was only through God I found peace through this extreme agony of depression, fear and anxiety.

in reply to Tregan71

Yes! He is there for us. Such a blessing!

MountainLover22 profile image
MountainLover22 in reply to

I hope to have the same experience as you did, at some point. I would love to chat and understand when you knew God was truly listening.

Honestly it was when I couldnt cry anymore, when I was mentally exhausted, when I thought of taking my life, it was then I felt a calm come over me. I accepted what was happening, for good and bad and just kept repeating Gods promises, especially his promise to never leave me nor forsake me. I meditated on that through all of my darkest days and the gut wrenching anxiety and fear. I pray you do the same, at first its hard because we expect God to just stop all the emotions and what we are going through...I kept asking, pleading and begging and he never moved. It was when I had completely surrendered to him when that peace and calm came over me. Please know you will get through the storms, you will, but God can help carry the pain, the fear, the worry and he will see you through it. Seek him with all your heart....and smile if you can my friend :-)

in reply to Tregan71

Wow!

Tregan71. That is beautiful.

I like to repeat “The Lord is my light and my salvation” and “Lord hear my voice”. The Psalms are so comforting... do you think they were written specifically for us people with anxiety? 😊

Tregan71 profile image
Tregan71 in reply to

Psalm 27 has been my battle cry for years, especially as Im about to go into a situation where Im terrified. I do believe God inspied David to write them for all of creation, throughout all of time.

But I feel like I have surrendered and nothing is happening. I need some guidance.

in reply to Needingpeace

Faith... it’s about believing even if you can’t see any progress and don’t feel any different. Have faith and pray... maybe you just got to trust for a little while longer.

To fully surrender you accept whatever is happening and realize its what it is, good or bad. I had to, I just gave up trying to make things happen, I gave control over to God and decided that life still goes on, the sun still rises tomorrow and our lives are so short that suffering the way I was shouldnt rob me of living the gift of the life my creator gave me. Was that easy?? No it wasnt and I was facing a decision that could have taken my life.....it was in that dark place I truly let go.

You have really blessed me. Thank you so much for your testimony.

Your more than welcome my friend

in reply to MountainLover22

There was no one moment for me. It was about believing in God’s loving plan even though I didn’t understand the reason why he would allow suffering. Not just my emotional issues but other problems, stuff my friends were going through, world problems, terrorism, wars, etc. It was all weighing on me. But although I was struggling I kept praying and trusting and tried not to question.

Then a little book came my way (a friend who didn’t know about my personal struggles gave it to me) called Man’s Suffering and God’s Love. About just what I was having trouble with. I think it was providence, I was meant to have that book to help me get through depression.

Now I don’t have questions. I just know I am blessed to have the faith.

Needingpeace profile image
Needingpeace in reply to

I am going to check into that book. Thank you so much!

in reply to Needingpeace

The same book might not speak to both of us the same way... but go for it! 🙂 If you ever feel like chatting about it or anything else feel free to pm me. All the best!

I think everyone wants to be understood on a deeper level and sometimes the words “I understand “ aren’t enough and I think that’s ok. You seem to me to be very in tune with your own emotions and thoughts and express them very well which is something you should acknowledge at least if not be proud of. I relate a lot to your post. My ex-husband said similar things but never felt like me and it drove us apart in some ways. Your husband sounds like he’s trying… have you read about empaths? To me it sounds like you might be one. I don’t know if anything I write here ever helps anyone but thanks for being so honest. That takes bravery. I appreciate it.

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