Travel!!

I’ve been having a few good days (which are rare), and have come to a realization. I need to stop making fucking excuses and just start traveling ! I have started exploring my own city a lot more recently last summer and I went for a walk yesterday listening to music and realized how much I really can and DO enjoy my own company sometimes ... especially while just walking around exploring beautiful places.

I am 28 and feel like I’ve been sitting around making excuses for not going out and just doing it. I always felt like I needed to have someone to travel with.Or that I needed to go somewhere crazy overseas. But then I realized that I haven’t even explored my own country.

Another thing I just wanted to add, I have always sort of compared myself to the people closest to me in life. It’s been something I’ve been trying to change for a very long time. However pretty much all my friends seem to want to buy a house , have pets and kids and settle down. And they are all so much younger than me. I actually broke down at my 28th birthday saying they were all doing better off than me since they found their career and have long term bfs. They also never want to go out explore and do things with me and are always busy with their lives. Only now as I realizing that I can’t rely on other people to be there to do the things I want to do.

I think though, my biggest fear is not being able to share that experiences with others And also my social anxiety, especially in a foreign places. When I travel, not only do I like to explore, I like to see shows or go to concerts/ bars and music festivals . And I think my biggest fear around all of that is I have a very hard time being social and starting conversations. So I’m not sure how to get around all of that.

I took a trip to Ireland a few years back where I visited a guy online thst I was best friends with for years and I stayed with him. But I actually travelled to London and Brugge by myself for a couple days each. And in both places I got pretty depressed in the moments I hadn’t occupied with things to do. I do not regret a second of any of it however, there is still a lot of fear and anxiety to figure out .

I do plan to visit /explore a nearby forty this summer though and I am very excited about that prospect !

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I wish I had travelled more when I was younger. I understand being worried about trying to be social and talking to new people. You have to think to yourself, what's the worse that can happen. If they don't want to talk, its not nice but you just move onto the next person.